The Week in Quotes: June 27th - July 3rd

I STAND BEFORE YOU A HUMBLE CHAMPION...AND I'M STILL THE TOUGHEST S.O.B. AROUND, BABY

"Frankly I'd be happy if it goes longer, then I can stop answering these first round questions." - Shane Carwin, leading up to his UFC 116 heavyweight title unification against Brock Lesnar. Something tells me Shane would have liked that first round stoppage. (MMA Torch)

"It wasn't hard for me to find guys like Shane Carwin, what is hard to find is guys like Brock Lesnar - and that's hard to train for." - UFC heavyweight champ Brock Lesnar. In preparation for Carwin's power, Lesnar's camp drilled his chin with a battering ram. (5th Round)

"He hit me pretty good, and I don't know, I ended up there on the ground." - Lesnar. Carwin tagged him with an uppercut and a series of strikes that put him on his back. (MMA Mania)

"I really have to thank the referee for allowing that thing to go on. I wasn't hurt." - Lesnar, commending referee Josh Rosenthal's judgement in not stopping the bout. Lesnar said he could feel Carwin's strength diminishing and was content staying active on the ground.

"My body began to seize up towards the end of the first and it was totally locked up in between rounds. I told my coaches I could not move my legs." - Carwin. I guess that answers those "first round questions", huh? (The Underground)

SHANE CARWIN TALKS BROCK LESNAR, I STAB MY EYES

"Beating Brock does not make you Brock. I will still need to insult most of the fighters in my division, flip off the fans, insult the biggest sponsors the UFC has and then and only then will I renegotiate with Zuffa." - Shane Carwin. How witty. (The Underground)

"Brock's attitude, I don't care for it that much. How he treats people and he's just disrespectful. And if we were in the workplace, I probably wouldn't talk to the guy. I wouldn't want to have anything to do with him." - Carwin, who I assume bases this on Lesnar's adrenaline fueled romp at UFC 100. (Cage Writer)

"It takes a real man to face the very best after a long lay off. Brock doesn't seem to take any short cuts and I expect to see the very best Brock Lesnar ever tonight. He is a tough fight for anyone and holds the one thing that all of us fighters in the division are hunting for, the UFC strap." - Carwin. Oh, spare me. (Shane-Carwin.com)

UFC 118: FREAK SHOW

"It’s a freak show. I said I’d never put on a freak show fight and I’m doing it." - UFC President Dana White, on the UFC 118 fight between Randy Couture and James Toney. Calling a spade a spade. (Bloody Elbow)

"Here’s what I expect; the bell rings, they come to the center of the Octagon, circle each other for a little bit, Randy double legs him, puts him against the fence, squashes his head and the fight is over." - White. Is Dana expecting Couture to squeeze Toney's head like Crush?

"Perfect fight for James Toney is going to be, Randy comes out like you said, comes rush me. Right hand, left hook, to the body, They we go home. Lights out. Then pay his electric bill." - Toney. Perfect fight for James Toney is in a boxing ring, too. (Sportsnet)

"I expect to get my hands on him and I expect to wrestle." - Couture. Good luck, James. You have about five seconds to land a knockout blow before Randy has you on the floor. (Fight! Magazine)

"I admire Toney’s spirit and boxing skills. But he’s delusional here." - David Haye, boxing champ and MMA enthusiast. (Yahoo!)

"Listen, this guy chased me around the country saying bad things about the sport. If he wants to get his ass whooped, I’m gonna let him." - White. Embrace the freak show, Dana.

SCOTT COKER SAYS DUMB THINGS

"I’ve been saying it for the last couple of months that Werdum was going to beat Fedor." - Strikeforce CEO Scott Coker. You know, Scott, I do these quotes things every week, and I don't remember coming across any quote of yours predicting Fabricio Werdum's victory over Fedor Emelianenko. Maybe I missed it. (But probably not.) (Sports Radio Interviews)

"My feeling is maybe Fedor should fight Alistair Overeem and whoever wins that fight gets to fight Fabricio Werdum." - Coker. OK, listen I get it. I think your titles are garbage. You seem to agree. But you know this is going to raise a stink in the MMA world. So, either give Werdum his title fight that he earned or scrap the belts. I don't care. Just don't be so obtuse. It's unbecoming. (Sherdog)

IT MIGHT BE TIME TO TAKE OLD YELLER OUT BACK

"If he decided he doesn't want me to fight — his decision as a friend and not as a promoter." - Chuck Liddell, on the back-and-forth between him and Dana White. (Cage Writer)

"As a promoter he can still make money on me fighting. Get those big-money fights for him out there." - Liddell. I've got it! Let's just stick Chuck inside a cage and let him fight himself.

"He can not do it again. It will not happen again." - UFC President Dana White. This is the one time I really don't want Dana's words to backfire on him. (MMA Fighting)

"I guess if he asks me to release him, I'd release him. That's not what I want. But he'll never fight in the UFC again." - White. John Hackleman take note. This is how you show your friend you're serious.

"If I decide I want to fight still, I have to convince him that I can and I'm able. And it's not going to hurt my health. That's probably most what he'd be worried about." - Liddell. Lucky guess.

WHITE NOISE

"Vuvuzelas make the most horrific sound I’ve ever heard." - UFC President Dana White, who must not listen to U2. (MMA Torch)

"I think they’re all a bunch of losers." - White, when asked who lost the most between Strikeforce, M-1, and Fedor Emelianenko after Fedor's loss. (Bloody Elbow)

"I believe that if we would have been able to take him into the UFC last year, or even right before this loss, and promoted him properly, we could have done big, big business." - White. Let this be known to all the weirdos who didn't think Fedor vs. Lesnar in the UFC would have been huge.

"Now I have no interest in him. Zero." - White. Wink.

"The reality is that if you can’t afford to do the proper medical testing of your fighters, you have no business being in the fight business." - White, when asked about Michael Kirkham's death in South Carolina.

PARTING SHOTS

"If those guys weren't built that way they wouldn't have the success that they do because I don't see a lot of high level technique out of them." - Josh Barnett, on Brock Lesnar and Shane Carwin. First off all, Josh, if they weren't built like that, they would probably have to work much harder on their technique. Secondly, being big is a skill. You don't just pop out at 275 pounds, buddy. (Cage Writer)

"Mir shouldn't have even been fighting him really. You can't unscramble scrambled eggs. I scrambled his eggs six months before that." - Brock Lesnar, when asked about Shane Carwin's performance against Frank Mir. This, of course, set Mir into a frenzy, who now claims he will bulk back up to 350 pounds to fight a rubber match with Lesnar. (MMA Fighting)

"Oh, I can definitely dunk." - Shane Carwin. Try to dunk on me, and I'll take the charge. (Yahoo!)

"I don’t want to disrespect George Sotiropulous, who I think is a great person." - Kurt Pellegrino. Oh, well that's nice. (UFC.com)

"I don’t need neoprene or kneepads to help me win or get the edge. If that’s what he needs, fantastic; good for him. He knows he’s a cheater." - Pellegrino. Wait, what the? (MMA Weekly)

"Anyway, I'm best when the chips are stacked against me and I will make it to the top." - Keith Jardine. I just hope those chips aren't really left hooks in disguise. (KeithJardine.net)

"Well I know Joe pretty well, so that one's been done already." - Joe Warren, when asked if he had smoked weed with certain members of the MMA world. (Middle Easy)