The Week in Quotes: May 2nd - 8th

LOL KARATE

"You have to prepare yourself to his style, to train differently, to do everything differently." - Brand spanking new UFC light heavyweight champ Mauricio Rua, who defeated Lyoto Machida by brutal TKO at UFC 113 in Montreal. (MMA Junkie)

"I saw that [Machida] got dazed and was about to go down so I took the opportunity to knock him out." - Rua, which is a good thing because Tony Weeks gave Machida round one. (UFC.com)

"He knows that his karate is not going to defeat Muay Thai." - Rua's striking coach Andre "Dida" Amado. I wonder what Katsunori Kikuno has to say about that. (Sherdog)

I THINK STRIKEFORCE HAS OPENINGS IN THEIR POST-FIGHT BRAWLER DIVISION

"He’s done. I don’t give a [expletive] if he’s the best 170-pounder in the world. He’ll never come back here again." - UFC President Dana White, effectively cutting Paul Daley from the UFC. Daley, outwrestled for three rounds by Josh Koscheck, added insult to his own injury when he threw a left hook at Kos well after the final bell. (Bloody Elbow)

"There’s no excuse for that. These guys are professional athletes. You don’t ever hit a guy blatantly after the bell like that whether you’re frustrated or not. It was probably one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen." - White, who signed Gilbert Yvel, wants to sign Jake Shields, and still employs Nate Diaz. Would you like to know more?

"First off the guy is a blatant cheater, he had oil all over him." - Number one contender Josh Koscheck, who wasn't without controversy over his own. (MMA Fighting)

"He hit me with something while I was down. So I don't know whether it was a knee, fist or what, but I got hit pretty hard. I could of quit but I got up and kept fighting." - Koscheck, sticking to his story that Daley's illegal knee (intent!) hit him. Or something hit him. Replays show nothing.

"Josh is always saying who have I fought. But Josh has to remember that while Josh was still on a campus somewhere in some corner sucking [expletive], I was actually fighting Dave Strasser at Cage Rage, the UFC veteran who at the times had over 38 fights. So who's a newbie here?" - Daley, who probably should have been cut for referencing Dave Strasser as a legitimate opponent. (Cage Writer)

KIMBO GOES DODO

"I don't predict the fights but I'm not getting knocked out, I'll tell you that." - Kimbo Slice, who lost by second round TKO to Matt Mitrione at UFC 113. (MMA Fighting)

"Kimbo is done. We're going to cut him." - UFC President Dana White says, "Go have fun in Strikeforce." (Bloody Elbow)

"[He] stepped up to the plate, he took the challenge, came on The Ultimate Fighter and I'm happy to have met Kimbo Slice. He's not who I thought he was. He's a good guy, he came in, he worked hard." - White (MMA Fighting)

"It's not about being a huge draw. It's about having the right to be here. Because whether you're a big draw or not, this is about the sport and about who's the best and, you know, there's other people out there who deserve to be in the UFC." - White. How come Chris Leben, Stephan Bonnar, and Phil Baroni still have contracts?

HOPEFULLY THE LAST TIME I LET THIS APPEAR IN TWIQ (BLATANT PAGEVIEW GRAB)

"I was just trying to plead with him saying please don’t leave me and he said it was over and as he said that he moved past me and grabbed my arm and pushed me aside, and by doing that I fell against the edge of the bathtub. It did a little bit of damage, I bruised pretty bad for a bit." - Jenna Jameson, I don't know if it's OK to make jokes about this yet, but then she fell down the stairs. Oh, it's in Us Magazine? Yeah, it's OK. (Us Magazine)

"Every couple in the world goes through being so angry that you want to just...You don’t put your hands on a woman ever, EVER. Because this is what happens." - Jameson. That's going to make sex really awkward for me.

"My father called 911, I did not. And then the cops took him, I did not want them to take him, I was mad at them." - Jameson. Anyone else wondering why her dad was around to witness this whole thing?

WORLD'S STRONGEST MAN, WORLD'S WORST BOXER

"This whole MMA ranking stuff is a big pile of B.S. Everybody is in such love with Brock Lesnar, who came from nothing, zero MMA experience, and now he's considered one of the best? He fought only five times and is now considered Mr. Untouchable? Why not me then? Nobody knows how hard I'm preparing myself." - Mariuz Pudzianowski (MMA Weekly)

"His boxing technique is bad." - Boxing trainer Krzysztof Kosedowski, on Pudzianowski's boxing. At least he's not Pudz's trainer. He is Pudz's own trainer? Oops. (Boxing News Poland)

"His defense is weak...His jab is bad, his legs are bad, his defense is bad, his offense is bad." - Kosedowski. He can take a punch at least.

"I also don't think Mariusz is ready to take a punch." - Kosedowski. Good luck, Dominator.

I'M SORRY, I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER ALL OF MY COMPLETELY NATURAL SUPPLEMENTS

"Gaining 10lbs a year by lifting weights isn’t a big problem." - Alistair Overeem, being modest about his impressive weight gain. (MMA Convert)

"I don’t see or hear any of these types of accusations towards Brock Lesnar yet he is even bigger than I am. They can test me all they want. I’ll be in the States soon and I will prove everyone wrong." - Overeem, who will prove everyone wrong by TKO'ing a completely ineffective drug test.

"I'm not in this to shut people up. People can say what they want. It's my job, I get paid for this. Fans aren't my boss, I don't care what they have to say. I fight for me." - Overeem, I still love you. (MMA Mania)

WHITE NOISE

"Then we go backstage and we start talking to him and — the coolest guy you could ever meet. Real guy, down to earth, super cool." - UFC President Dana White, loving him some Dr. Phil. Wait, what? (Ottawa Citizen)

"So they’re getting us out the door and I’m like, 'Wait a minute. I want my Dr. Phil mug. Where’s my Dr. Phil mug?' Before we left, I wanted that Dr. Phil mug." - White

"I like the way Kenny Florian fights when he’s not fighting for a title." - White. That is to say, he likes the way Kenny Florian fights against lesser competition. (Boston Herald)

"Kenny Florian comes in with a completely different game plan and fights not like Kenny Florian when he’s fighting for the title. I think he’s got a title mental-blockage." - White. Wait, Kenny has a different gameplan for guys who are superior to him technically, athletically, or both? I'm shocked.

PARTING SHOTS

"There’s life after the UFC." - Thales Leites, who beat Jesse Taylor over this weekend. (MMA Mania)

"Eddie's style is a great match up for me." - Josh Neer. When told that Eddie Alvarez could wrestle he said, "Oh shit, really? Nevermind." (MMA Mania)

"It's a lot harder for him to be an effective boxer from his butt." - Randy Couture, on his soon-to-be-signed fight against James Toney at UFC 118. (MMA Weekly)

"I won’t be scared, I promise you. When I walk into the cage, I’m going to look in his eyes and I’m going to say, ‘I’m going to take the belt from you.'" - Manny Gamburyan, who will proceed to be kicked in the face. (MMA Torch)