The Week in Quotes: April 4th - 17th (SUPERSIZED EDITION)

THAT IS A DISGUSTING ACT BY RANDY MOSS (BROADCASTERS GET OVER YOURSELVES)

"What's up?  Where's my rematch, buddy?" - Jason "Mayhem" Miller, getting a little screen time in the afterglow of Jake Shields's win over Dan Henderson.  The Cesar Gracie Fight Team does not take kindly to such indiscretions, and decided to let Miller know how they feel - with kicks and punches. (CBS Telecast)

"This is...this is ridiculous. My god." - CBS broadcaster Mauro Ranallo

"Sometimes these things happen in MMA. A lot of testosterone in the cage.  Gentleman!  We're on national television! Gentleman! We're on national television!" - CBS play-by-play man Gus Johnson. Gentleman, you can't fight in here!  This is the war room!

"You know, sometimes the testosterone gets going in the cage, and this is what happens." - Johnson.  Rising and firing.

"I really apologize for that.  It's out of my character.  He got me when my emotions were running high." - Shields, in Mauro Ranallo's way.

"That's OK.  Let's not take away with what happened tonight." - Johnson, who understands that sometimes testosterone just gets in the way.

"If I could please just say about what took place...There's a time and place for everything.  For 'Mayhem' Miller to do what he did to Jake Shields: disgusting.  And I was not a fan of that." - Ranallo.  Oh, the irony.

"All right, Mauro Ranallo with his opinion." - Johnson, who must love him some post-fight brawling.

THE WEEK IN CHAEL

"[Silva] is a dirtbag anyway, whether he went out there and shook hands and was gracious or he didn't. Who cares? I don't know why sportsmanship needs to be involved, anyways. It's a fight – go do whatever you want." - Chael Sonnen, number one contender to Anderson Silva's UFC middleweight title.  (MMA Junkie)

"There's people out there that need [to be] beaten up – he's one of them. And I have a moral obligation to society to beat him up." - Sonnen

"This isn’t like some exciting thing to get to fight him, it’s just truly an annoyance, and I’m looking forward to it being over with just so I can move on and be done with the jerk." - Sonnen (Hardcore Sports Radio)

"I compare Anderson to Britney Spears. She shaved her head to get headlines. Britney Silva went up to 205, retired, etc. Nobody cares." - Sonnen (Sports 1140)

"I've beaten every champion of every company out there. I've lost ten seconds total of my fights combined. You ask me how I'm going to beat him, ask the other 25 guys that got in my way." - Sonnen, one second for every loss.

"I did an autograph signing with Anderson Silva, there was a line around the building to get to my room.  You could have heard a rat piss on cotton in his room!  Nobody was in there." - Sonnen, nobody except the rats.

BUY THE TICKET, TAKE THE RIDE

I cannot in good conscious pick quotes from Douglas Crosby's weird rant on the Underground.  I urge you to check out this Watch Kalib Run post for the gruesome details.  Mescaline?  Ibogaine?  Adrinochrome?  Rumors swirl about a Crosby post-fight Abu Dhabi drug binge.  Are the Underground posts proof?

SOMEONE'S LOOKING FOR A FINDER'S FEE

"I probably had more to do with [the UFC-Flash partnership] than people will probably ever realize." - Renzo Gracie (Watch Kalib Run)

"He wasn't involved at all." - UFC President Dana White, making good on the idea that know one will ever realize Renzo's involvement.

"When I found out they were looking for investors, I was in Singapore and I brought back this package they were sending out to investors. I brought a copy of that back to the Sheikh and he was very interested because he loves fighting." - Gracie

"We came out here and hung out with him when we came out, but he wasn't involved in the deal at all." - White

WHERE IS YOUR JIU JITSU, PLAYBOY?

"I came here well prepared and Maia disrespected me. I came here to hurt him and punish him and that is what I did." - UFC middleweight champ Anderson Silva, explaining his queer performance at UFC 112. (MMA Torch)

"I'm a black belt, and would never say the things that he said." - Silva (Cage Writer)

"I never said anything too serious, and whether I had said it or not, it would be to promote the fight. That is normal." - Challenger Demian Maia (Gracie Mag)

"He started to call me bad names during the fight. Stuff like, ‘You're a [expletive]ing playboy, come and show me your jiu-jitsu,' things like that." - Maia.  Apparently, "playboy" is a very derogatory insult in Brazil, playing on the deep divisions in class.

"I don't feel like I owe anyone an apology right now. Sometimes fights turn out good, sometimes they turn out bad." - Silva, but I spent $50 on it. Wah wah wah.

JOE ROGAN GETS ME HOT

"The feeling you're going to have when that [expletive] gorilla grabs a hold of you and yanks you up in the air and then smashes you and then gets on top of you. And those big [expletive] lunchbox fists. That's a wrap son. You're done." - UFC broadcaster Joe Rogan, reacting to James Toney calling out UFC heavyweight champ Brock Lesnar. (Cage Writer)

"You're not going to jab and shoulder roll your way away from Brock Lesnar. He's going to [expletive] you. Do whatever he wants to you." - Rogan.  This is getting kind of hot.

"He's gonna have you work for him. He's gonna be your master. He gonna put a dog collar on you." - Rogan.  I'm getting a little wet.

"If we didn't live in a civilized culture, thousands of year ago everyone that Brock Lesnar fought would be chained up. Would be chained up in his yard. They would work and they would just hope and pray that Brock doesn't get angry and decide to [expletive] you up today." - Rogan. This is one delicious cigarette.

TAKING CARE OF FIGHTERS IS JOB #1

"I never saw a dime." - Former PRIDE middle- and welterweight champ Dan Henderson, on royalties received from the UFC video game.  Flies in the face of Dana's "setting these guys up after retirement" schtick. (Los Angeles Times)

"It's like UFC is sticking their hands in our pockets." - Henderson, on the fee the UFC charges for companies to sponsor fighters.

"It's a business.  [Dana White] said he'd write me a check for $25,000 [for public appearances connected to a future fight after UFC 100], and I never saw that either. It's made me think I need everything in writing from now on." - Henderson.  Recent UFC outcast Roger Huerta had similar complaints about public appearances in the past.

WHITE NOISE

"That was the first time I walked out of a main event and gave the belt to the manager and told him to put the belt on his champion." - UFC President Dana White, who wants to let you know just how angry he is about Anderson Silva's performance.

"We're probably the most honest, open company, in sports. We let the fans and media know everything." - White, trying to justify lying about the UFC 115 main event involving Chuck Liddell. (Cage Writer)

"Guess what? You can't know and it's not your privilege to know." - White

"First of all, SPIKE paid for this show. For me to go out and release this information, it's insane. You can't do it. It would be like finding out what happens on 'Survivor' after they film it." - White.  It's more like releasing the results of "Rock of Love" or "RuPaul's Drag Race 2".

"The people who feel like they've been lied to, too bad. Get over it. It's a reality show." - White.  You're a fight promoter.  Please get out of the "reality TV" business for fuck's sake.

"If he ever acts like that again in the ring, I will cut him. I don't care if he's the best pound-for-pound fighter in the world, I don't care if he is the middleweight champion. I will cut him, absolutely." - White, following in the footsteps of the NBA contracting the San Antonio Spurs for winning too many boring NBA Finals. (MMA Torch)

"Everybody is always asking me if I think I'm oversaturing. You've got so many fights on TV, so many fights on pay-per-view, this and that. My answer to that is: is there too much baseball on TV? Is there too much football?" - White, absolutely correct. (Versus.com)

"Don't buy it. If it's too expensive for you, don't buy it." - White, ditto.

PARTING SHOTS

"He's flat on his back. He doesn't have any great hip movement." - New Strikeforce light heavyweight champ "King" Mo Lawal, highlighting the flaw in Gegard Mousasi's game he would exploit en route to his title victory. (Bloody Elbow)

"That’s what crazy about this, I could win four fights and get a title shot. You just don’t know what’s going to happen." - Marcus Davis, while talking about retirement.  I do know that you will not win four straights fights and get a title shot. (Boston Herald)

"Good he needs something to fall back on." - Shane Carwin, on Brock Lesnar hosting Monday Night Raw. I thought he didn't like to trash talk? (The Underground)

"Of course they are ducking me. I am a risk to their whole organization. Vadim is embarrassing all the Russians." - Strikeforce champ Alistaor Overeem, found dead in an alley in southern Poland shortly after this statement. (MMA Mania)

"He's getting used to it and he's not flopping around like a fish anymore." - Juanito Ibarra, on James Toney's MMA training "progress". (Fight Hub TV)

"You heard it from Roy Nelson, Kimbo edges Matt Mitrione on the ground. I'm just a guy that just sprouts the truth. I hate to say it but that's just the truth." - Roy Nelson (The Underground)