The Book of Fedor

Seeing as how Fedor is worshiped now, all that is missing is a bible so that you can claim being an MMA fan as a religion and get your PPV buys written off in your taxes. If you are super uptight about religion, stop reading now.

The Book of Genisis

In the beginning there was darkness.

And then on the first day our Lord and Fedor said, "Let there be real fight". And lo, there was real fight.

On the second day our Lord and Fedor said, "Let there be technical Brazilians.". And so it was, there were technical Brazilians from the north, with the Gracies as their masters.

On the third day, our Lord and Fedor said "Let there be hard working white people.". After these words were spoketh, they came from the west with Hughes and Couture as their leaders.

On the fourth day our Lord and Fedor stateth, "Let there be explosive Africans.". And from out of the nothing came Rashaad and Rampage.

On the fifth day our Lord and Fedor decreed, "Let there be crafty Japanese.". And from the east came Sakuraba and Uno.

On the sixth day our Lord and Fedor commanded, "Let ye battle in perpetuity for the amazement of the fans, but beware the shiny headed one lest ye fall from my grace."

On the seventh day our Lord and Fedor had some soft-serve ice cream, and lo, it was good.

The Book of Rings

After many years the world began to slip into darkness, with the Senator McCain trying to force the real fight from the fan's lives. In the lands of the Americas the real fight was gone forever, living only in dust and legend. Our Lord and Fedor looked down from the heavens and said. "Lo, I must guide these these fans back to the real fight, for they have lost their way."

So our Lord and Fedor came down from the heavens and began to take vengance on those who would deny the real fight. And it was good.

In quick succession our Lord and Fedor struck down him of Lazarov, Lagvilava, and Takada. He then defeated Him of Arona who the heretics say won the battle, but was struck down with riteous fury by the one known as Rampage. After this our Lord and Fedor was defeated only in the laws of Rings by the one known as TK. This angered our Lord and Fedor and with vengeful fury he laid waste to the Land of Rings so that nothing would grow there for a thousand years.

The Book of Pride

Yea, after the destruction of Rings, our Lord and Fedor went to the Kingdom of Pride to spread the word of real fight. There Fedor struck down the Dutch Destroyer, the Texas Crazy Horse, and the half man-half beast with a bead of rock, Nogueira. Yea, our Lord and fedor was raised to the highest champion of the real fight and it was good. 

Our Lord and Fedor spoketh, "Ye all worship me now as your champion, but will you abandon me if you think I am a mere human and am struck down?" And so in his battle with the Iron Head our Lord and Fedor was nearly struck down, yet prevailed. In the battle against the Monster our Lord and Fedor was nearly broken, yet prevailed. And then again our Lord and Fedor defeated the head of stone not once but twice more. Our Lord and Fedor then struck down the CroCop and Coleman to prove his greatness. And it was good.

The Book of Dana

Yea, after many years the kingdom of Pride was rotten and torn assunder by the weakness of her princes and kings. And then He of the Shiny Head conquered the Kingdom of Pride. He spoketh to our Lord and Fedor, "All of this can be yours if you bow down and worship me as your god.", our Lord and Fedor replied, "Nyet". And thus our Lord and Fedor was forced to wander the wilderness with his faithful deciples, M-1.

The Shiny Headed one spoketh to our Lord and Fedor, "Lo, they worship the ground woul walk on and annoint your head in vaseline, but should you test their faith they will abandon you." And our Lord and Fedor tested their faith by fighting unworthy opponents in him of Choi, Zulu, and Sylvia. Lo and they were all struck down in quick succession. Then the Shiny Headed one spoke, "Lo, this so called Lord and Fedor only fights bums, a real champion would defeat him." And our Lord and Fedor unleashed his riteous fury upon the Shiny Headed one by striking down his champions of Sylvia, Arlovski, and Coleman.

The Shiny Headed One then tried to tempt our Lord and Fedor to fight his mighty BROCKLESNARRR!!!! for much gold and silver. Our Lord and Fedor's disciple Vladim then spoke, "Yea, we shall strike down this manbeast of yours, but only for the sum of half the temple's gold", to which the Shiny Headed one spoketh "FUCK!".

To humble the Shiny Headed One, our Lord and Fedor then struck down all the champions of the Shiny Headed one's princes and champions in the winter of discontent as such is the price of pride and vanity.

 And it was good.

The Book of Strikeforce

He of Smith then spoketh to our Lord and Fedor "Lo, for I have seen thine greatness and we shall build thoust a temple and anoint it with many sweaters and gold couches and ice cream" and to this our Lord and Fedor spoketh "Da."

Our Lord and Fedor then moved to the six-sided cage to battle with he of Sam's Club and was victorious after much bloodshed. Our Lord and Fedor then accepted the challenge of the Werdum.

And it was good.