A Tribute to Minowaman

The alarm sounds loudly. Beep. Beep. BEEP! I slam my hand down to the floor, hurriedly move my hand around on the ground trying to find my Blackberry, and snooze the alarm for ten minutes. Ten minutes later... BEEP! I stumble out of bed trying not to wake the rest of the inhabitants of my small apartment, slowly creep down the hallway, fiddle with the coffee maker, and slam myself down into my ancient Arts & Crafts-era rocking chair I bought for five bucks at an auction a couple of years back.

It's early. Way too early for me to be awake, but my appetite for mixed martial arts has filled me with some excitement as I try to wipe the grogginess off my face. It's New Year's Eve day in the United States, and that means that it's New Year's Eve in Japan... and that can only mean one thing. Dynamite!!!

I flip on HDNet quickly, gain my bearings as to what time it actually is and what I've missed. Luckily, my DVR was set, and I run through the opening fights I missed fairly quickly. I comment to myself as I watch a few of the opening fights:

"Oh great... Hiroya. How many gift decisions can we get tonight?"
"Hiroya lost!? This is... AWESOME!"
"Shota Shimada could be a woman with a little make-up."

I pop back over the live feed, and Minowaman vs. Rameau Thierry Sokoudjou is about to start. I'm not too excited about the fight since I'm fairly certain that Sokoudjou should ram his fist through Minowa's face inside three minutes. I'm still a bit optimistic though for an entertaining fight. After all, Minowa provided us with the fun-filled scrambling battle of David vs. Goliath when he fought Hong Man Choi, and he brilliantly ankle locked Bob Sapp in an expected outcome in his preliminary performance.

The music starts. I pump up the volume a bit, and here comes Minowa in all his glory. The Mullet. The Red Tights. The Awesomeness. And the greatest part about his entrances are that the crowd absolutely loves Minowaman. He embodies the pride of Japan, and he always... ALWAYS delivers. My arms strangely wants to fist pump. Who am I to say no?

Image courtesy of my fellow ambassador to all things Minowaman, smoogy2

The feed starts talking about Minowa's training methods for this fight, and as always -- the methods are humorous and show the eccentric personality of Minowa. It's no wonder this guy is beloved by Japanese fans.

A cigarette and a coffee run wipe out most of the rest of the entrance banter from the commentary team, but I make it back to my seat in time to watch Minowa fend off submission after submission attempt from Sokoudjou while also eating some very hard shots in the first round. I'm a bit surprised he's made it this far, but I also didn't anticipate Sokoudjou being so hesitant.

The second round is more of the same with Sokoudjou just peppering Minowa with blows, and Minowa looks like he's lost every ounce of air in his lungs. It looks like this fight will be over soon, or at the very least -- a dominate decision victory for Sokoudjou.

The third round of action was quite possibly a miracle sent from God. Both men stood around staring at one another for nearly half the round. Minowa was visibly tired, and Sokoudjou was intent on just cruising his way to victory as he'd already won the first two rounds. The referee issues two yellow cards, and I'm about ready to get out of my seat and get ready for work. I've given up on this fight, and I'm done.

Suddenly... as I have one-half of my ass leaning out of the seat ready to head for the shower. BOOM! Minowa moves in, throws a wild flurry of blows, and drops Sokoudjou with a left hook after missing nearly all the previous shots. The fight is over, and the camera pans over the crowd of fans who all have their jaws open in disbelief. Minowa had done what most fans, analysts, writers, and even myself felt was impossible.

Minowa gasps for breath as he limps toward his corner and his teammates celebrate the win. Minowa even looks like he can't believe what just happened, and the crowd is still in awe. It's been quite a long-time since I've actually used the words "jaw-dropping" and they were actually applied.

Minowa celebrates the win with his customary chanting to the crowd, and the celebration brings a warmth to my heart. It's very rarely that we see performances that truly "move" us in the fight game. After all, it's fighting and people are being punched in the face. There's no room for emotion, and Minowa's freakshow fight victory isn't something that a normal fan would say was incredible.

For this fan, this was incredible. A visibly beaten Minowa somehow defeated a giant who wasn't a clumsy, uncoordinated subpar fighter... no, he actually had skills on top of his size. This wasn't the same as beating a slow, bulky Bob Sapp, a tall, lanky, slow-motion Hong Man Choi... it was much more challenging.

For a man who embodies the pride of Japan and brings true entertainment value to mixed martial arts with these types of fights, it was a deserving win. For years and years, many fans have pointed and laughed at these freakshow battles involving Minowa, but I've always been fond of his heart to step into the ring against such huge opponents and use his skill to win.

I tip my hat to Ikuhisa Minowa. You provided me with some incredible memories in 2009, entertained the hell out of me, and made each day I woke up and watched your awesomeness exponentially better. Keep the mullet alive, keep on proving that David beats Goliath, and keep on providing Japan with a hero. It'll truly be a sad day in mixed martial arts when you finally hang the wrestling boots up.