LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, WELCOME TO THE WES SIMS ERA

"I just want to make sure because everybody knows I’ve got the largest crotch in the sport." - TUF 10 contestant Wes Sims.  It's just the start. (411Mania)

"I didn’t put no semen in no one’s food, and no one better have put no semen in my food." - Sims

"Yeah. I ain’t going gay again, but I’ll tell ya, I’m pushing their s*** in." - Sims.  Again?

"I grew up on a farm, and we didn’t have pigs that hungry." - Sims, lamenting Roy Nelson's tendency to eat any and everything in the house.

"I wasn’t doing it unless I was getting paid for it." - Sims.  I'll let you guess what he's referring to.

"Another fact, there ain’t nobody I could look at in that house and wanna go yank it." - Sims.  OK, the cat's out of the bag.

"At first go was horrible for myself because it was just ridiculous. But after that, I about ripped her guts out." - Sims, describing his first day out of the house with his special ladyfriend.

"I can only assume, I can only assume he’s had unprotected gay sex for money. And quote me for that, please." - Sims, on Phil Baroni and quoted.

OVEREEM FEARS CO-PROMOTION

"It hasn't escaped my notice that we are dealing with a bunch of crooks who wish to brand their name onto someone who has managed to build up a successful organization on his own with a good network deal." - Alistair Overeem's manager Bas Boon, on the UFC.  Just kidding.  He's talking about M-1 Global. (Mixfight.nl forums)

"Our deal with Strikeforce was made before this bunch of robbers came along, but now we were planning on asking our money in advance." - Boon.  Good luck with that advance.  I'm sure they'll tack on a bonus for your troubles.

"In fact, I see this as the ideal opportunity to say no to the contract that was signed earlier; we don't want to fight on any M-mini Cons & co promotions." - Boon

JOE ROGAN HAS OPINIONS ON THINGS THAT AREN'T HALLUCINOGENIC DRUGS AND SKETCHY METAPHYSICS?

"That is easily one of the weirdest and goofiest things about MMA fans; the fist-up pose with the fighter." - UFC commentator Joe Rogan.  I'm happy to report I have a goofy picture with B.J. Penn in which I throw up an ironic fist pose. (JoeRogan.net)

"I can completely understand if you’re a fighter yourself, and you want an image of camaraderie with one of your sporting idols, but if you’re an overweight short order cook who’s never even taken a tae bo class, do the world a favor and keep your fucking fist un-balled when you’re standing next to Anderson Silva." - Rogan.  What if that short order cook HAS taken a Tae Bo class?

"At the last UFC in New Jersey I actually saw a guy in the audience with a shirt that said, 'Some guys are strikers, some guys are grapplers… I’M BOTH!'  Good lord.  Someone please find that poor fuck and give him a hug." - Rogan.  I'm shocked that one would find this in the beautiful state of New Jersey.

"I had one guy email me that actually wanted to sell me an pendant that was an MMA glove smothered in diamonds.  The name of his company?  'Hard as diamond – for those who are.'" - Rogan.  You can't make this shit up.

"SURLY" SATOSHI ISHII

"I won’t wear it. I retired from the judo world, so I won’t even wear my gi during the walk-out." - 2008 Olympic gold medalist Satoshi Ishii. I'm sure this has nothing to do with the judo world turning its back on him after he chose MMA. (Sherdog)

"I’ve respected Yoshida since I was young, and it’s a good thing that I’m able to fight him. To be able to nail his chin with my punch is also a good thing." - Ishii, weird form of respect. (Nightmare of Battle)

FRANK TRIGG ISN'T AS SMART AS HE THINKS HE IS

"You cannot have LeBron James, you cannot have Kobe Bryant, you cannot have these great basketball stars without Michael Jordan first. You cannot have Barry Bonds without Babe Ruth." - Frank Trigg.  Does Trigg think pro athletes get put out to stud like race horses? (Las Vegas Review-Journal)

WHITE NOISE

"I think it would be better to see them fight each other, and the winner of that become the next contender. I think Vitor is ready to fight Anderson Silva (now)." - UFC President Dana White.  Read: Vitor Belfort makes us a lot more money than Dan Henderson or Nate Marquardt. (Bloody Elbow)

"He’s giving up literally millions of dollars to play Mr. T." - White.  This is not the same as literally being explosive or literally being twice as fast as other human beings. (Cage Writer)

"If you think he’s gonna go in and say ‘I pity the fool’ and he’s gonna become a huge, serious actor off that role, give me a friggin’ break." - White.  Hey, it worked for the aforementioned Mr. T.

"I guarantee you by Sept. 15 of next year, we will be on network television." - White.  Just like that network deal or Fedor in the UFC or the five other network deals you've alluded to, right? (Watch Kalib Run)

"I feel like he fucked me." - White, on Quinton "Rampage" Jackson.

"I’m not even talking to ‘Rampage.’" - White.  Is there any reason this guy handles his business like fifteen year old boys handle relationships? (Las Vegas Sun)

PARTING SHOTS

"That was the last fight we wanted." - Luis Cane's manager Alex Davis, who is a friend of future opponent Antonio Rogerio Nogueira.  (Tatame)

"I don’t know if I’m going to take the UFC belt, but I will die trying." - Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic, who was LITERALLY killed at UFC 103 against Junior dos Santos. (Bloody Elbow)

"Ok bitches who said I was ducking — I duck NO ONE. Fighting Sheilds on November 7th. Official BOOM!" - Jason "Mayhem" Miller. (MMA Mania)

"I heard (his shoulder) pop a couple of times, I was like ‘Hey it’s poppin’.’" - Gray Maynard, on a nasty kimura he cranked on Roger Huerta.  As a visual, Huerta's hand was in a position to throw a baseball.  Unfortunately, his arm was twisted the wrong way. (MMA Mania)

"I’ll start off by saying there’s nothing to worry about at this time. My health is great." - Phillipe Nover.  That's usually my go-to after I have a seizure and collapse. (PhillipeNover.com)