MY NAME'S BOB ARUM, AND I'M OLD AND STUFF

"Our audience in boxing is ethnic, Hispanic, Filipino, Puerto Rican, Mexican and the hard core boxing fan who can’t watch, like me, UFC. The UFC are a bunch of skinhead white guys watching people in the ring who also look like skinhead white guys." - Boxing promoter Bob Arum, sticking foot firmly in mouth.  (Fanhouse)

"Ninety percent of the people in the audience wear tattoos." - Arum, describing MMA fans.  Ninety percent of people over sixty shouldn't voice their opinion.  Who do you think is closer to being correct?

"They watched it, it’s horrible, guys rolling around like homosexuals on the ground." - Arum, not sure what he's watching.

"I mean it’s not a sport that shows great, great talent." - Arum.  Like Tyson biting Holyfield's ear or Golota making Bowe's nuts his sole target or Klitschko dominating with a jab, right?

"There is no way the (UFC 100) pay-per-view generated the kind of numbers they put out. I know what the numbers were — south of one million. They’re not a public company. Who’s to check?" - Arum.  I'd wager a pretty large sum they were north of 1m.

DID SOMEONE SAY DONKEY SHOW?

"What happened when [Filho] came to America, he got beat up really bad. Now he’s back in Japan and he feels like a kid in a candy story." - Strikeforce light heavyweight champ Gegard Mousasi.  (Fighters.com via MMA Mania)

"I would say that he’s a little donkey on steroids. He thinks he’s a running horse but he’s more like a little pony." - Mousasi, does that mean little girls love Paulo Filho?

"I didn’t take any steroid. How could I have taken steroids before losing 9 kilos?" - Paulo Filho, responding.  As if that logic makes it impossible for him to be juicing. (Fighter's Only)

"He’s in good momentum right now but the Brazilian light-heavyweights are able to beat him up - and I’m one of them." - Filho.  Brazilian light heavyweights like Renato "Babalu" Sobral, amirite?

"If there’s an athletic commission test, he can fight me everywhere, everywhere he wants." - Mousasi

HORSE MEAT'S A HELLUVA DRUG

"I cannot be 100-percent right about the reason he is taking so long to solve his issues and come to fight, but it seems either that the gummy berry juice he is taking to give him super powers is (causing) him to avoid fighting here in America or he is afraid of having no arms to fight after facing me one more time." - Fabricio Werdum, calling out Strikeforce heavyweight champ Alistair Overeem, who hasn't defended his title in almost two years. (MMA Weekly)

"I will let him take some pictures with my belt and he will be able to keep good memories from his time as a Strikeforce champion." - Werdum.  Did Strikeforce hire a trash talk instructor? Goddamn.

KIMBO: "BAS TOOK MY BREAD"

"I guess with him, he pretended to be a friend but he really wasn't I guess. It was just business with him." - Internet streetfighting sensation and best heavyweight prospect alive Kimbo Slice, responding to comments made by Bas Rutten. (Fighter's Only)

"You pay a guy good money to teach you things and be a good teacher and they take your money." - Slice.  Well, that is one half of the transaction?

"But then they turn round and say ‘I tried to teach you stuff but its not working'?... Come on man, you're not a good teacher - so really he owes me some money right?" - Slice. You mean the "danga danga danga da's" and "leeeeeeever shots" didn't improve your game, Kimbo?

WHITE NOISE

"Boxing is doing it to you again. They’re giving you the fight that you don’t want. " - UFC President Dana White, ridiculing the Floyd Mayweather-Juan Manuel Marquez fight that will be going head-to-head with UFC 103.  Because everyone wanted Franklin-Belfort, right? (MMA Fanhouse

"Nobody asked for this fight with Mayweather and … what’s his name? What’s his name? Nobody even knows. Nobody in this room even knows who Floyd’s fighting." - White.  C'mon dude, why you gotta play Juan like that.  Also, this little bit was some pseudo-stand up comedy from Dana.  Very creepy.

"On that same night, on that UFC card, you guys can all tune in and you can watch not one fight, you guys can watch five great fights that night for ten dollars less than what Floyd wants you to pay to see him run around in circles, and lay on the ropes, and move around and not fight." - White, making me want to watch Floyd.

PARTING SHOTS

"I said to him 'Wanderlei, you’re much more handsome… If you had a long hair and a pretty mouth, you’d be like Angelina Jolie.'" - UFC middleweight champ  Anderson Silva, on Wanderlei Silva.  Does that make him Brad Pitt? (Tatame)

"Beat him now or beat him later, it doesn’t matter. I’ll have to fight [Nate] Marquardt eventually." - Former Pride multi-champ Dan Henderson.  More like beat him now because you aren't getting past Anderson, bro. (MMA Fanhouse)

"Age and wisdom can only take you so far before age catches up to you." - Frank Trigg, with a quote that would make Yogi Berra blush. (Yahoo)

"Let’s get real here, guys. I didn’t play Russian roulette because I was depressed that I lost to Brett Rogers. I wasn’t depressed. I was just in a bad mood." - Former UFC heavyweight champ Andrei Arlovski.  Dude, what the fuck would you have done if you WERE depressed? (Fighters.com)

"I don't think he's afraid. Maybe he wants to keep his perfect record. Maybe he thinks the UFC is too tough. Why he's not there, I don't know." - Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic, commenting on Fedor Emelianenko's decision to sign with Strikeforce. (MMA Torch)

"If I could drink all night and sleep all day I would. Shit, if I could have a chamber pot brought to me in my bed, I'd piss in that." - Don Frye (Heavy.com)