TRAPPED IN A SPIDER WEB

"So, if I did have to pick a guy, I would pick Forrest." - Former UFC heavyweight champ Frank Mir, putting Forrest Griffin at the top of the list to beat pound-for-pound wrecking machine Anderson Silva. (KRKO)

"I think what you can’t do is be a big, slow guy that follows him around and be too aggressive about trying to attack him." - Griffin, uh... (Yahoo)

"I’d let him. We’d put [the middleweight title] up for grabs." - UFC President Dana White, on Silva potentially vacating the middleweight belt to move up to 205 pounds.

YOU STAY CLASSY, PHILADELPHIA

"Ninety percent of the crowd is watching a fight in the crowds." - Joe Rogan, during the Kendall Grove-Ricardo Almeida bout.  The two women involved received $60,000 fight of the night bonuses. (UFC 101 telecast)

"You bring your 'B' game, and they'll bring their 'B' game. The 'B' game is you know what -- they'll boo you no matter what here if you bring your 'B' game." - Pennsylvania Athletic Commission Executive Director Greg Sirb.  Just ask Santa Claus when he brought his "B" game. (Cage Writer)

"I want to tell these fighters, you know, this ain't Vegas. This ain't Jersey. This is Philly." - Sirb, comparing Philly to two beacons of American excellence.

THE SHOT HEARD 'ROUND THE WORLD EXCEPT BY SCOTT COKER

"Why would one fighter create a war?" - Strikeforce CEO Scott Coker, openly wondering how poaching the world's best heavyweight would put him in direct competition with the UFC. (Sherdog)

"I don’t think this will escalate like the fans like to gossip." - Coker.  Yeah, and M-1 is perfectly reputable organization.

LOL STRIKEFARCE, I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE

"They should have stayed the way they were." - UFC President Dana White, reacting to Strikeforce's acquisition of Fedor Emelianenko. (Sherdog)

"They have no money. These guys have no money and they have no distribution. Four fucking people watch Showtime." - White. 

"Under the current circumstances, is anybody surprised?" - Coker, sitting at the big boy table. (Sherdog)

WHICH OF THESE QUOTES IS MORE DEPRESSING?

"Not only did we not make an offer, but we would’ve assumed his Affliction contract and its terms." - UFC matchmaker extraordinare Joe Silva, revealing that the UFC made no official offer to Gegard Mousasi.  M-1 Global, Mousasi's management, informed their client that the UFC had offered him a deal of $40k to show and $40k to win. (Sherdog.net)

"First time I was 16, second time I was 30. It’s when you don’t care about anything." - Former UFC heavyweight champ Andrei Arlovski, relaying his expertise in Russian Roulette.  Arlovski turned 30 before his bout with Fedor Emelianenko. (Fighters.com)

SCRATCH CARANO OFF MY LIST OF POTENTIAL MATES

"I’ve only answered to God, sometimes my family, sometimes not, and fighting." - Strikeforce postergirl Gina Carano, only answers to mythical beings of questionable moral fabric. (New York Times)

"No relationship, no boyfriend, girlfriend; it’s the only thing that has kept me focused." - Carano.  One word in this sentence gets me kind of hot.

GSP IN TWO DIFFERENT LIGHTS

"I see a lot of St. Pierre in him." - Firas Zahabi, describing my night with Georges.  Or the potential of Jon Jones. (Fight Hype)

"It’s just my opinion that he uses steroids." - UFC lightweight champ B.J. Penn, responsibly opining.  No surprise, Kevin Iole was involved. (Yahoo)

PARTING SHOTS

"He was like 'You hit like a bitch.' I'm like all right. And I stood up and slapped him. I go 'Now you just got hit like one.'" - Kurt Pellegrino.  (MMA Torch)

"It just means now it would be Strikeforce, M-1 Global and UFC." - That asshole Jerry Millen, explaining how a Fedor-Brock Lesnar fight can still happen.  (USA Today)

"His intensity seemed forced, and he seemed a little small." - Kenny Florian, on B.J. Penn.  Well observed, sir! (Sherdog)

"I don’t give a damn on his words. Even a parrot talks." - Mauricio "Shogun" Rua, unphased by the critical words of Anderson Silva.  Unfortunately, most parrots don't knock out gargantuan light heavyweights going backwards.  Most parrots. (Fighter's Only)