You can learn a lot about a fighter from their nickname (or lack thereof). Oftentimes the nickname is used to try and describe the type of fighting style that they’ve adopted while other times it is used to show a sense of humor as well. In the UFC, there’s a generous mixture of the two, as well as a ton of unimaginative, A-Rod type nicknames that combine the first letter of the first name and the first syllable portion of the last name.

                                                                                                  via mmacrack.com

In the interest of trying to gain a bit of clarity into the best of the best fighter nicknames, I’ve gone ahead and made a Top 10 list consisting of the elite nicknames in the UFC today. Many factors were taken into account in selecting the hollowed few who managed to crack this list. One of the biggest factors was the rhyming combination of the nickname when combined with the fighter’s actual name. Two that come to mind that narrowly missed out making the list are Nate "The Great" Marquardt and Matt "The Hammer" Hamill.

A rhyming fighter nickname is, of course, important in the sense that when you say the name out loud, it… rhymes. Yes, that’s right, there’s nothing as phonetically pleasing as hearing something that rhymes. You really can’t put it into words – it just feels and sounds right, like a chocolate Jello-O pudding pop on a steamy summer’s day.

Another big factor in cracking the list is how the nickname may or may not have described or related to the fighting style of its owner. Quinton "Rampage" Jackson is certainly one that is a fine example. The way Jackson fights is almost certainly rampage-esque – he literally just goes out there with reckless abandon and throws down – often in a rampage-like state.

Are you still with me? Good. We’re almost there, so you can stop your bitching.

The last two factors that were taken into account were the hilarity factor as well as whether or not the fighter was still relevant or not. Although they have great fighter nicknames, Jason "Dooms" Day and John "Buckets of Blood" Polakowski just weren’t big enough name draws to be included on the list. Sorry fellas…

With the qualification guidelines out of the way, let’s get right into it. And please don’t think for a minute that I took this as seriously as I’m making it sound.

Cue the list! (After the jump..)

Honorable mentions: Quinton "Rampage" Jackson, Nate "The Great" Marquardt, Matt "The Hammer" Hamill, Spencer "The King" Fisher, Thiago "Pitbull" Alves, Chris "Lights Out" Lytle, Nate "The Rock" Quarry, Anderson "The Spider" Silva

10. Frank "Twinkle Toes" Trigg

Frank Trigg cracks the top of the list with a nickname of pure hilarity. While "Twinkle Toes" is usually used as an insult, Trigg turned it on its head and decided he’d make a mockery of the entire fighter nickname idea — claiming a derogatory description as his own. For this, we salute him with the #10 spot on the list. Fairy!

9. Ryan "Darth" Bader

Undefeated Ryan Bader decided to take full advantage of the fact that his last name kind of sounds like Vader and coin his fighter nickname as Darth so that it all comes together to sound like Ryan "Darth Vader". It’s kind of corny, but it’s also kind of hilarious as well. It really can go either way – probably depending on how many screws you have loose upstairs.

8. Sean "The Muscle Shark" Sherk

Sean Sherk makes the list with a fighter nickname that is so ridiculously genius yet asinine at the same time. If you look at Sherk, he really does look like a muscled up shark in human form. When you throw in the whole steroids can of worms, you’re left with a product of infinite jokes that will last until the end of time.

7. Mike "Quick" Swick

Ultimate Fighter alum Mike Swick decided to keep it simple with his fighter nickname. Since he has some of the quickest hands in the welterweight division AND the last name of Swick that rhymes so fantastically with quick, he coined himself Mike "Quick" Swick. Some people hate this nickname, but to those people I just say, "Go f*** yourself. It is, in fact, awesome. End of story."

Well, at least, that’s what I would say if I ever had an actual argument with someone about Mike Swick’s fighter nickname. Up until presently, no one has really given a shit enough to engage with me in one. A pity…

6. Marcus "The Irish Hand Grenade" Davis

While Irish-American Marcus Davis’ nickname doesn’t rhyme in the slightest, it does sort of blend itself with his fighting style and absolutely tips the scales on the badass, extremely violent factor. Not only that, but he got in the Irish part as well. Not only is he Marcus "The Hand Grenade" Davis – which would have been satisfactorily badass all by its lonesome – but he decided to take it to another level and dubbed himself the IRISH hand grenade, because as we all know, Irish hand grenades are infinitesimally more lethal and dangerous than normal hand grenades.

Great nickname all around, Marcus!

5. Paul "Semtex" Daley

Newly signed United Kingdom fighter Paul Daley’s nickname is "Semtex", which Wikipedia tells us that Semtex is, "A general-purpose plastic explosive containing RDX and PETN."

Enough said.

4. Jon "Bones" Jones

Jon Jones, easily one of the most popular up-and-coming young stars in the UFC, perhaps owes a small bit of this popularity to his very simple yet also incredibly deep fighter nickname. Did Jones mean for "Bones" to reference his own slender, athletically bones-ish frame? Maybe. Perhaps he meant it to reference the fact that he often leaves his opponents crumpled at his feet like a pile of bones? That one’s probably a no, but hey, you never know!

3. Matt "The Terror" Serra

Matt Serra’s nickname has it all. It rhymes, it has to do with his fighting style (sort of) and it kind of demands that you say it with a New York accent or else it won’t rhyme. In that, it is surely one-of-a-kind.  It should actually be spelt more like "The Terrah" or something, but that would probably get grammar perfectionists and phoneticians all in a huff or something so I guess it’s better left as it is – one of the best nicknames to ever grace the MMA landscape. It’s pissah!

2. Wanderlei "The Axe Murderer" Silva

I thought long and hard about whether or not to have Wanderlei Silva and his "Axe Murderer" moniker at number one, but in the end, I think it belongs – and still respectfully so – at number two. Especially when you see who lies at number one. Wandy’s nickname almost practically defines a fighter’s nickname that’s dictated solely by his fighting style.

If you never knew of Wanderlei Silva and watched some footage of his fights and had to come up with a nickname for him, you very well may have come up with "The Axe Murderer" or something along its lines like "The Dagger Slayer" or the "Serial Killer Destroyer Machine". It’s just how he fights and I think I speak for everyone when I say that we certainly do love and adore him for it.

And now, for number one – may I get a drum roll please?

(Insert/imagine a sound of a drum roll here…..)

1. "The Dean of Mean" Keith Jardine

Can you honestly say that you’re surprised? I hope not, because this is perhaps the best nickname in MMA history in my opinion. It rhymes, it references his fighting style – shit – it even references his LOOKS! Doesn’t he look like a Dean sort of with that goatee thing he has going on? At least, that’s what I think a Dean would kind of look like. He truly is the Dean of Mean. Seriously, say it out loud – really, out loud.

"The Dean of Mean Keith Jardine"

The whole thing just fits and sounds right. I mean, look at the guy – he LOOKS like a Dean of Mean if a thing ever actually existed. I don’t know if it was actually Jardine who made up his nickname or some genius/intellectual giant among men guy made it up. But it is arguably the best fighter nickname ever created, end of story.

Please feel free to vehemently disagree with each and every one of my decisions!

(Original post at MMA Crack)