MMA MATH BY DIEGO? YUS!
"Now, going in and beating two of the top contenders at 155, I think I'm the number one guy." - Diego Sanchez, reflecting on his victory over Clay Guida last Saturday. (MMA Weekly)
"The only other person is Gray Maynard and Gray Maynard has a win over Frankie Edgar, who has a win over Sean Sherk, but also, people don't forget, Nate Diaz has a win over Gray Maynard on The Ultimate Fighter and Guida has a win over Nate Diaz." - Sanchez. Who needs a FightLines graph when you have Diego "YUS!" Sanchez to regurgitate it for you?
"So, if you really do the math, it puts me as number one contender." - Sanchez. That and a genius.WHICH HURTS MORE: BAS' LEEEEEEVER KICK OR THE "YOU'RE AN ASSHOLE" TALK?
"I misjudged him, he turned into a whole different person." - Former King of Pancrase Bas Rutten, explaining his split with MMA engima Kimbo Slice. (Fighter's Only)
"I told him that he was an asshole and that I have zero respect (for him) and I cant train people that I have no respect for. Can’t ever." - Rutten. Right up there with the "I'm disappointed" chat you get from your parents.
"And what I didn’t like about the Thompson fight as well was he said, afterwards, ‘Yeah, we planned on fighting three rounds,’ and I told him ‘Don’t say that, you were lucky the referee didn’t stop the fight in the second round.'" - Rutten
"I am there for the best interests of the fighters, I want them to win. If they don’t accept that, bye bye." - Rutten
SO HE NEITHER WALKS ON NOR FLOWS LIKE WATER?
"I don’t think he’s Christ; I think he’s very beatable. They’re looking at him and his karate like he’s Bruce Lee. He’s not Bruce Lee." - Jon Jones. You might have to nail him to a cross to catch him, though. (USA Today)
"He’s very beatable." - Jones, 15-0 says otherwise.
"I don’t think Rashad Evans came with any type of game plan, but to look really cool or look really fancy, dancing around in pretty footwork stances." - Jones. Getting your face crushed in isn't a viable strategy?
SPEAKING OF GUYS WHO PERFORM SELF-SACRIFICE IN THE NAME OF BOOK SALES...
"I’m probably going to get hurt, if not die. This guy knows how to fight." - Former UFC light heavyweight champ Forrest Griffin, on his upcoming fight with pound-for-pound king Anderson Silva. (Fresno Bee)
"The good news is, if I die, this book will sell a lot more copies and be worth more." - Griffin. If you had caddied for the Dalai Lama, on your death bed, you would regain total consciousness.
"I would like to make some wild claims about the book...I guarantee – a money back guarantee – that this book will not help your fighting, will in no way better your life or improve your life in any way. Not only that, but I also guarantee that this book will not help your love life in any regard." - Griffin, completing the analogy to the Bible.
"I got to 146.6 and when I asked the athletic commission if I was okay, they said ‘yes.’" - Din Thomas, detailing his weight cutting fiasco at Ultimate Chaos. (MMA Mania)
"So I left the stage and started drinking right away to get rehydrated. Javier’s camp then apparently told the commission that they wanted me to cut the extra half-pound." - Thomas, getting owned by the Vazquez camp.
"So I tried and damn near killed myself in the sauna. It didn’t make sense — if Javier wanted me to cut the weight why wasn’t I told on the stage? I would have dropped my drawers and made it." - Thomas. Shit, get me a miscalibrated scale. I wanna see this man drop his drawers.
PROFITS? YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT PROFITS? YOU KIDDING ME?
"He's got to keep fighting - he's too young to quit." - Career killer Monte Cox, on client Tim Sylvia. Not sure Tim's age should be a big factor in the process. (MMA Weekly)
"I'm not trying to do anything with Adrenaline, other than try to find a place that I can run a show that's profitable." - Cox. So, he's not trying to do anything with Adrenaline.
"Lee was indeed rearrested right away, because the British Authorities did put [in] a formal request to the Moroccan Authorities to have him tried in Morocco for the alleged robbery." - Lee Murray's attorney Abdellah Benlamhidi. I expect this from America's prison-industrial complex, not the fine and cultured folks of Europe! (MMA Fanhouse)
"The powers that be wanted to steer him off that date. But he wanted that date, so it's on! The boxing guys are so stupid and small minded." - UFC President Dana White, commenting on Floyd Mayweather Jr. rescheduling his fight with Juan Manuel Marquez to conflict with UFC 103. (Cage Writer)
"'It's a good thing he hurt his rib. I heard they sold about 12 tickets for that fight." - White. Hell, I'd buy a ticket just to watch Floyd break a rib sneezing.
"Maybe a card that has a breakdown of, I don't know if you want to do breaking a five-minute round up in to different quarters or by minute or whatever, but some way to easily categorize those things that they're looking at: cage generalship, grappling, takedowns, strikes." - Marcus Davis, still crying over his loss to Dan Hardy. If he wants to highlight a way to quantify the ambiguous criteria of "Octagon control," I'm all ears. (Bloody Elbow)
"If you put Thiago Alves and BJ Penn in a fight, I would bet all my money on Thiago Alves." - UFC welterweight champ Georges St. Pierre. I'll give him Alves at -1000. (MMA Fanhouse)
"I gave that kneebar to him, he knows that." - UFC heavyweight champ Brock Lesnar, on his first fight with Frank Mir.
"What’s going to be interesting is to see if I still have some of that power." - Bob Sapp, on dropping nearly 50 pounds for a fight with Bobby Lashley. Needless to say, it's been proven you can't maintain steroid-enhanced strength off the juice. (Pro MMA Radio)