The Week in Quotes: April 26th - May 2nd

I'D LIKE TO UPGRADE MY SILVA TO THE LATEST MODEL

"We were doing a photo shoot for something, for what I’m not sure, and you-know-who came over and said, ‘Hey I gotta talk to you’ and I said ‘What, I didn’t do anything wrong.’" - Former UFC light heavyweight champ Forrest Griffin, who had a recent meeting with the principal. (MMA Mania)

"They came to me and said, ‘Hey Forrest; you want to fight a different Silva’ and I said ‘Sure.’" - Griffin, who now fights UFC middleweight champ Anderson Silva at UFC 101.

"He’s a southpaw counter-striker...it’s not like I’m going to go jump his shit." - Griffin

"In five years, I don’t know that I’ll be able to compete at the level I do now." - Griffin, forecasting an influx of better athletes over the next decade.

"They’re great and it’s really unfair you know. I can’t wrestle; I haven’t wrestled my whole life. I don’t remember what I was doing but I wasn’t wrestling, that’s for sure." - Griffin

"Randy Couture is the kind of guy that if you share a hotel room with him, and he’s got an early flight, instead of turning the light on he will use the light from his cell phone to try and pack his stuff so he doesn’t wake you." - Griffin, unless you're his wife in which case he'll serve you divorce papers.

THREE'S COMPANY

"I said Chuck's done." - UFC President Dana White, attempting to force Chuck Liddell into retirement. (Cage Writer)

"No, and it's not that he's not going to fight anymore for the UFC, he's not going to fight anymore period." - White, playing the Randy Couture card in reverse.

"He’s fought 100 times and only been knocked out twice." - Liddell's trainer John Hackleman, who fails to tally the second Quinton Jackson fight as a knockout.  But c'mon, John, Rampage turned Chuck's lights out. (Throw Them Bows)

"Chuck is still under contract and they have to give him a fight or let him go." - Hackleman

"Yup. That's the way it is. He can't fight again. He's gonna be 40 years old. He's made a lot of money. He's been the champion. He's proved everything he needs to prove to everybody. There's no need for him to fight anymore." - White, failing to consider that maybe Chuck just likes to fight.  Plus, you just ran Mark Coleman out against the former number one guy at 205.  Don't bullshit us, buddy.

IT'S THE MONSTER MASH

"I'm a fucking man and no one will ever question that because I am a man before I am a fighter and to have some pussy that sits behind a computer all day question my manhood pisses me off." - Former UFC heavyweight champ Kevin Randleman, who turned down a fight with Rafael Cavalcante and is now upset with journalists for pointing this out. (Fight Hype)

"This shit didn't get under my skin." - Randleman.  Wait for it...

"I'm not Rampage. I will go to jail for beating your ass." - Randleman.  Bingo.

"If he told me some shit like that to my face, I would spit in his face and I wouldn't care if he had a 270-pound monkey with him because I'm a gorilla." - Randleman.  Is it racist if you say it about yourself?

GREG JACKSON CALLS FOR ANDERSON SILVA TO FIGHT DINOSAUR (NOT REALLY)

"Everyone hated it and thought it was boring stuff. I saw him reach down and punch a guy in the thigh. I love that." - Ubertrainer Greg Jackson, clearly my soul mate. (Sherdog)

"Ever since I was a little kid, I wanted to wrestle a dinosaur." - Jackson, maybe not.

FILE UNDER "THINGS I IMMEDIATELY REGRET SAYING"

"I was ready to show myself to the Japanese fans -- I think we've missed each other a lot." - WAMMA heavyweight champ Fedor Emelianenko, bringing new meaning to "the emperor wears no clothes." (Sherdog)

"But I would go down there and lay on top of him. I’ll lay on top of him and bang with him." - Brett Rogers, on a rumored fight with jiu-jitsu ace Fabricio Werdum. (MMA Fighting)

"He’s gotta pump it up a little bit or I’ll lay on his ass, put that weight on him, tire him out." - Rogers, on another rumored fight with Strikeforce heavyweight champ Alistair Overeem.  Fool me once shame on - shame on you.  Fool me - you can't get fooled again.

"I think the hard part for the UFC right now, is that their champion is only defending the belt once a year." - Former UFC lightweight champ Sean Sherk, who had a cumulative total of one title defense in his year-plus time as champ. (Setanta)

"That’s a lie. The event will still last a long time." - Antonio Rogerio Nogueira, on Affliction.  Check back with me in September. (Fighters Only)

YOU HEAR ABOUT THE GUY WITHOUT ARMS OR LEG FIGHTING AN MMA BOUT?

"I had never really gotten hit before [in training]." - Congenital amputee Kyle Maynard.  Is he really saying he trained for MMA and didn't have someone hit him in the face?  You know, just to prepare for it? (Atlanta Journal-Constitution)

"It opened my eyes to the fact that this was the most serious thing I had ever gotten into." - Maynard.  Again, shouldn't that have been something he knew going into the whole thing?

MATT HUGHES?  WE TALKIN' 'BOUT MATT HUGHES?  THE MATT HUGHES I KNOW AND LOVE?

"Seeing a guy like Matt Hughes, it makes me kind of wonder, how did I get to be headlining over Matt Hughes on a UFC card?  I mean, Matt Hughes?  It’s Matt Hughes, man." - UFC light heavyweight champ Rashad Evans doing his best Allen Iverson. (Cage Potato)

PARTING SHOTS

"At least I tried to engage with Silva!" - Patrick Cote.  Here's your cookie. (Fight Hype)

"I want to inspire any kids under the age of 19, 20 to spar with each other with gloves and headgear. You get punched in the face and all of sudden you start talking like Chuck Liddell." - Former UFC light heavyweight champ Tito Ortiz.  Chuck later responded by simply saying, "Day of Reckoning." (The Junkies on WJFK)

"No, we didn’t expect him to be the world champion." - Jared Shaw, on Kimbo Slice, with the understatement of the year. (MMA Weekly)

"I was not out." - Benji Radach, filing an appeal about the finish of his fight with Scott Smith.  He was out. (ESPN)