IF THE "GENTLEMAN'S AGREEMENT" GIVES US FRYE/TAKAYAMA II, I'M ALL FOR IT
"You won't see a Silva versus Jones fight while Silva is under contract with me." - UFC President Dana White, nixing a potential Anderson Silva/Roy Jones Jr. fight under the UFC banner. (CBS Sports)
"That's a Pride or K-1 matchup. It's not what we do." - White, underestimating the audacity of Japanese matchmakers. Jose Canseco/Hong Man Choi makes this fight relevant.
"Anderson wants to challenge himself, he wants legendary fights." - Silva's manager Ed Soares. By "legendary" he means "sexy," and I have just the guy in mind.
"That would be a very, very long shot of ever happening on Showtime." - Showtime's boxing and MMA director Ken Hershman, on Jones fighting Nick Diaz. (Cage Writer)
"I think it's an insult to the integrity of mixed martial arts to think that Roy Jones or any professional boxer could just come in and fight Nick Diaz in a mixed martial arts context." - Hershman, who needn't be reminded about six-pound bikinis.
MMA IS THE NEW BENCHMARK FOR PARTISAN POLITICS
"I don't think it's any more dangerous than football." - South Carolina Senator Lee Bright, while raising the Confederate flag outside the Capitol building. (USA Today)
"I think here, as a legislator, I cannot speak against domestic violence, against bullying in school, trying to tell children not to be violent, but say that it’s all right for these adults to get in the cage and do this activity, but don’t you do it. To me, that’s just contradictory." - New York Assemblyman Bob Reilly, while reorganizing his collection of Nazi china. (USA Today)
"MMA is not a sport because it legitimizes death and serious injury. The only aim is to destroy your opponent." - Cologne City Councilman Manfred Wolf. Was death not legitimate before MMA? (Express)
"Here one finds the lowest human instincts." - Wolf, Holocaust denier.
YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE BROCK ANGRY
"I’m a martial artist; he’s a professional fighter." - Former UFC heavyweight champ Frank Mir, on Brock Lesnar. (MMA Weekly)
"He fights because he gets paid to fight." - Mir, who made $90,000 to fight Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira at UFC 92.
"I think that a lot of people realize that he was only 1-1, he had a .500 record in the UFC when he got a title shot." - Mir, who got his aforementioned title fight with Nogueira, by beating this same 1-1 fighter.
"If Lesnar was making $10,000, would he show up to fight?" - Mir, a strange individual.
FILE UNDER "THINGS I IMMEDIATELY REGRET SAYING"
"Fuck Jake Shields, he’s got a big fucking mouth." - President of the Jake Shields Mancrush Club Joe Riggs (Fightlinker)
"I saw him on that ‘Bully Beatdown’ show. He looked like a fucking nerd. He’s just a fucking turd." - Riggs, adding, "he loves cheese curds, and says bad words."
"Then Jake Shields jumps in. He goes, ‘What’s up? You’ve got ‘Diesel’ on your stomach. What is that?’ I’m like, ‘You’ve got my dick in your mouth, bitch.’" - Riggs, not gay if he's sucking your dick, amirite?
"Obviously, John Hackleman didn’t pay his house off yet." - UFC President Dana White, explaining why Chuck Liddell trainer John Hackleman argues that Liddell should still fight if he wants to. (Sherdog)
"I’m not his fucking father. I can’t tell him, ‘No, you fucking can’t.’" - White, misquoting the Empire Strikes Back.
"How many great, talented guys do you see coming out of John Hackleman’s place? He’s no Greg Jackson. He’s no Mark DellaGrotte. He’s no American Top Team. He’s not one of the great camps." - White. Dude, Glover Teixeira beat Sokoudjou, c'mon.
"Right now in Japan, the MMA bubble has already burst. We have to revive it, bring it back." - Yoshihiro Akiyama, about to perform some sexy CPR. (Sherdog)
"I thought Lyoto was more deserving than Rampage anyway. He's better." - UFC light heavyweight champ Rashad Evans. (MMA Fanhouse)
"Everything's tethered within physics and the structure of the techniques. But you're playing within those structures...you're doing different things and making them work for you." - Greg Jackson, who needs to go back to talking about sane things like wrestling dinosaurs. (Sports Illustrated)
"I’m doing something Dana White won’t do and that’s fight." - Affliction VP and neither gay nor woman Tom Atencio. (MMA Mania)
"It's definitely a spartan lifestyle...it's basically just been the life of a fighter - eat, sleep, train. Eat, sleep, train." - Phillipe Nover, on renting out his house and moving back in with mom. No mention of the Spartan tendencies for homosexual barracks behavior. (Canoe)
"Let the world know that I’m training at Jackson’s camp and I’m really about to go puke so I’m going to let you go because I’m sure you don’t want to hear me." - Joe Stevenson, after too much dinosaur wrestling. (Fight Hype)
"I'm one of the most dangerous things there is - I'm a dumb, well-read person." - Former UFC light heavyweight champ Forrest Griffin, summing up Athens, Georgia. (ESPN)