The Ultimate Fighter.
And a whole heap of other turd-burgers.
MMA and Reality TV is a match made in TV Executive Boardroom heaven!
With that in mind, I thought I'd come up with a few ideas for future reality TV shows with an MMA twist.
- Double Espresso KO!
Starring Matt Serra. Matt Serra, alternate-reality UFC Champion, takes eight of the country's finest up and coming baristas and trains them in MMA. Each week they compete in a full-contact, no holds barred taste-off, where they must tell Matt Serra--simply by sniffing his jock-strap--where the beans of his coffee came from. If they fail to correctly guess, then strap-em-up and get ready for a pounding, 'cos the Terror is a-comin' -- and he hasn't had his morning espresso yet!
- Country Bum-Chin
What happens when you take Matt Hughes, zillion-time UFC welterweight champion and certified country bumpkin, and Urijah Faber, former WEC champ and silver-spoon fed city boy, and put them in a cage together? A chicken cage that is! That's right, in this new reality TV show, Matt Hughes and Urijah Faber will be pushed to the limits as they try to run the Hughes Family Farm. Will Faber learn the ways of the country? Can Hughes keep the secret of Betty the Family Cow from Faber's prying eyes? And just how deep does that face-crevice go?
- Day of the Dragon
Lyoto Machida. UFC Warrior. Karate Master. Black Belt in Tea Ceremony. This half-Brazilian, half-Japanese, all-warrior samurai gladiator has been stalking the UFC's light-heavyweight ranks. Now, get an inside insight into the explosive life of a UFC fighter. Can you handle the excitement? Episodes include: Lyoto Visits a Herbal Medicine Shop. BAM! Lyoto and the Old Tai Chi Master. SHAZAP! Lyoto Meditates for 9 hours Straight! CRUNCH! Karate Patterns done Really Slowly KAPOWZA! Epic Stretching ZOORP! Lyoto Visits the Bicycle Repair Shop! CHINGLE! Warning: watching this show may induce a hernia--of awesomeness!
- Beat the Best
Anderson Silva - greatest fighter of all time. But what isn't he good at? In this ground-breaking new series, UFC Middleweight Champion Anderson Silva is pitted against experts in their respective fields... Silva can throw a punch, but is he any good at darts? Anderson Silva's kicks are legendary... but can he kick a piece of clay into the shape of a teapot? Find out in the Pottery Challenge! How about water-skiing? Croquet? Open-heart surgery? Test the champ in an all-new series that will have you asking yourself "Just how awesome can one man (and TV show) be?!"
- Life Sentence
You've seen UFC stars such as Tito Ortiz and Kevin Randleman utter sentences that seem to go on forever. Well now, you get to find out who really can ramble the most! With your tongue-twisting host Mauro Ranallo, special guests will challenge our resident champions Ortiz and Randleman to see who can construct the most incoherent and long-winded response to a simple question. Ever wanted to see how a sentence can start with "Well, I trained in Big Bear for this fight..." and end with "That way, all the air is sucked out of the bat's gizzards, giving you the smoothest tube of pure gelatin." Wonder no longer, friends. Find out: who has the longest Life Sentence!
Well, I'm out of ideas. Have you got any?