Is it real?

Is it fake?

Did Mayhem pay for that Hummer?

Define real and fake for me anyway, especially when it comes to TV nowadays.

Bully Beatdown comes from that strange alternative reality where up is down and punch is kick and trout is sausage.

There are two ways to watch Bully Beatdown.

Technique A:
Step 1: Switch off brain.
Step 2: Enjoy.

Technique B:
Step 1: Leave brain functioning.*
Step 2: Enter Twilight Zone.

*Must have functioning brain in the first place

I have tried both, and I must admit, Technique A is more fun, although sometimes I forget to switch my brain back on and I sit staring at the computer screen with drool hanging off my lip and flies buzzing around my teeth.

The entire show, from beginning to end, is a farce. It's not necessarily fake, but it is heavily crafted reality. The Twilight Zone. A place where nothing is as it seems. Where surprise visits occur in houses that coincidentally contain full camera crews! Where voices are sometimes dubbed on weeks later in a studio! Where all the bullies do the presto-chango deathbed repentence scene after getting smashed by the valiant MMA fighter! 

It has that feeling of styrofoam reality that is ever-present on TV. I "studied" film and television at university (I'm doing air quotes because "studying" means "drank and smoked too much, slept through most lectures"), and the one thing I learnt from it was that I can no longer truly enjoy a TV show or a movie without analysing the shit out of it.

I notice every time you see the crowd that seem to be reacting at something other than what is happening. Notice the single, canned audience audio track. Notice the strange levelling on some people's voices, as if they were dubbed in later.

I can't help but notice these so-called surprise visits go so smoothly. Perhaps the camera crew sneaked into the house beforehand and set everything up perfectly? And what an incredible stroke of luck that it takes about ten seconds of air time for the bullies to agree to being pummeled by a professional fighter!

Next scene: The fight!

What you don't see: The masses of paperwork, the lawyers getting together and agreeing on minutiae, the bully knowing exactly what he is getting himself in for, the producers telling the fighter to, you know, rough the guy up, but don't hurt him too bad.

I know, I know. This is the nature of reality TV. Cut out the reality, keep the TV. But still. 

On the positive side, Mayhem is tailor-made for television. Another positive thing about the show is... um... that... it's only 20 minutes long.

I guess the best way to watch the show is Technique A.

Brain... OFF!

Hur hur. Mayhem funny.

*drools