MMA Standard Units & Naming Convention

by Ubernoober on Apr 17, 2009 4:45 PM EDT

There is confusion in the MMA community about measurement and naming. The purpose of this article is to introduce standard MMA measurements for everyday use, and to confuse outsiders. If you ever wanted to know how many Abbots you can lift, or how many Zulus it takes you to run 100 Chois, wonder no more.

Unit of Measurement: Name of MMA unit (short form), and SI or Imperial equivalent.

Length: Chois (Ch) 2.18m or 7ft 2in. The total length of one Hong Man Choi

Mass: Abbots (Ab) 129kg or 8.84slugs. The total mass of a Tank Abbot (2007 estimate)

Time: Zuluzinhos (Zu) 26s. How long it takes to get "Zulued"

Temperature: Machidas (Ma) 36₀C or 98₀F. Average temperature of Lyoto Machida urine.

Force: Caranos (Ca) 20N or 4.5lb. Average amount Gina Carano is overweight at weigh in.

Work: Penns (Pe) 1W or .001Hp. Total work output of one BJ Penn training camp.

Reflectivity: Danas (Da) Unit less fraction. The % of light reflected by Dana White’s head is 1Da

Torque: Fedors (Fe) 100N*m or 73.75lb*ft. The average torque of one Fedor armbar.

Viscosity: St. Pierres (Pi) 10N*s/m2 or 6.71lb*s/ft2. Average viscosity of GSP during fights

Energy: Guidas (Gu) 1megaton (explosive). Total energy contained within Clay Guida’s hair.

Example:

A force of 10Caranos applied over a moment arm of .25Chois will result in a torque of how many Fedors?

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A force of 10Caranos applied over a moment arm of .25Chois will result in a torque of how many Fedors?

I don’t know, but I imagine that the fight would last a 1/4 Zu, unless the victim had at least a Pi of 8.29 lb* s/ft2.

"I see him beating Anderson Silva. I see him picking him apart. Him at a 131 years old...(trails off)." - Tito on Belfort at Affliction:DOR

by Rundownloser on Apr 17, 2009 4:55 PM EDT reply actions

Ugh…

You missed the most important statistic:

Fun: Minowas(minos) 1mino or 1 night at the bar: The average amount of fun output by Minowa’s entrance and fight.

Example: “Holy shit, do you think all that fun last night at the strip club is equal to a mino? Probably not, man, a mino is impossible to reach.”

Follow my analysis of all things MMA on BloodyElbow.com

by Leland Roling on Apr 17, 2009 4:59 PM EDT reply actions

I prefer to stick to standard units that can be derived. It is impossible to objectively measure fun so I left it off the list.

Keep firing Assholes!

by Ubernoober on Apr 17, 2009 5:04 PM EDT up reply actions

Dancing

Measured in Genkis or Melvins?

by Chris Nelson on Apr 17, 2009 5:09 PM EDT reply actions

Distance: A length in Manhoefs of how far something is off the chain.

I will play my game beneath the spin light.
Absurd Meridian

by Eugene Schelfaut on Apr 17, 2009 5:43 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs

Rec’d

So awesome

Follow my analysis of all things MMA on BloodyElbow.com

by Leland Roling on Apr 17, 2009 7:17 PM EDT up reply actions

Sexyness measured in Akiyamas

How could you have missed that? lol

Great post, one more rec for you sir.

Kuwabara Kuwabara

by J. B. Maddox on Apr 17, 2009 6:13 PM EDT reply actions

You can't measure work in Penns! It's too trivial an amount to be measured by most equipment!

Others:
Volume (Sound): Formerly in Liddell Yells (LYs), though a Rampage Howl (Rmp) was found to be more accurate.
Inflation (Economics): Measured in Kimbos (Kmb)

Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. -Samuel Beckett

by Scott C. Broussard on Apr 17, 2009 6:32 PM EDT reply actions

A Kimbo (Ki) is a measurment of an index of absorption of light. Light that enters Kimbo’s beard is never seen again.

Keep firing Assholes!

by Ubernoober on Apr 17, 2009 6:36 PM EDT up reply actions

KIMO- the facial effect of one year of meth use

There's a WAMMA belt in my Cracker Jacks!

by Drewplata on Apr 17, 2009 10:59 PM EDT reply actions

Dude, this is genius

If ever they do a “Best of Bloody Elbow” book and collect the best articles and fanposts about MMA on this site, I have to say this is my first choice.

"It's like a flying knuckle sandwich." --Rogan
"And many men have eaten it." -- Goldy

by thetakeover on Apr 18, 2009 1:42 AM EDT reply actions

Frequency could also be measured in Dana Whites.

DWFBF – Dana White F-Bomb Frequency. Short form DFB – Dana F-Bomb.

by Monday Morning Martial Artist on Apr 18, 2009 6:56 AM EDT reply actions

why not.

A force of 10Caranos applied over a moment arm of .25Chois will result in a torque of how many Fedors?

τ = r X F
Length: Chois (Ch) 2.18m or 7ft 2in. The total length of one Hong Man Choi
Force: Caranos (Ca) 20N or 4.5lb. Average amount Gina Carano is overweight at weigh in.
Torque: Fedors (Fe) 100N*m or 73.75lb*ft. The average torque of one Fedor armbar.

Assumptions: τ = torque, r = lever arm, F = force; I’m not certain what a "moment arm’ is, but I’m going to go with the notion that it’s supposed to mean this is occuring in 1 moment and that “moment” = “instantaneous” so I don’t have to factor time in there. Also, that the length of this arm is 0.25 chois (this is as it seems to be given).

τ = 10 Ca * 0.25 Chois
= 2.5 Fe

and in nonfun metric, and by your scale:
τ = 10 (20N) * 0.25 (2.18m)
= 109 N

by snet tim on Apr 18, 2009 9:46 AM EDT reply actions

You are closer to the answer than you think, young grasshopper.

Check your answer.

2.5Fe=/=109N
In solution #1 your answer for torque is 2.5 Fedors. In solution #2 your answer is 109 Newtons. To be correct, the solutions must be convertable.

Keep firing Assholes!

by Ubernoober on Apr 18, 2009 12:40 PM EDT up reply actions

damn. well. i suck at physics and shoulda known better than to attempt this. but i thought i’d give it a shot…. good thing i’m not still going for that medical degree! haha

by snet tim on Apr 19, 2009 1:29 AM EDT up reply actions