The Week in Quotes: March 21st -27th
MOISES ALOU DID IT WRONG
"My father does that for a long time and bring it to us. People think it’s a joke." - Lyoto Machida, set to reveal the secret for his success. Herbal tea? Raw blowfish? Some kind of Brazilian dance I don't even know about? (Tatame)
"I never said it in the United States because I don’t know how the fans will react." - Machida. Hm, we Americans can be a tight bunch. Maybe it's a pre-fight orgy? Some S & M action? Fedor's naked spa and leaf beatings?
"I drink my urine every morning like a natural medicine." - Machida. Fuck my life.
IT MIGHT WORK FOR JULIUS CAESAR, BUT YOU, SIR, ARE NO JULIUS CAESAR
"I think it could work. I really do." - Affliction COO Tom Atencio discussing the tentative plan to counter-program UFC 100. (MMAJunkie)
"But at the same time there, obviously there’s a lot of - no matter what I do, I’m going to be criticized for it. I guess it really doesn’t matter either way if I do it or I don’t do it." - Atencio. Would you like to have a fourth show or not? Then yeah, it kinda matters.
HOW DOES GENGHIS KHAN FEEL ABOUT IT?
"How do I feel about them trying to counter-program UFC 100?. I love it. I fucking love it." - UFC President Dana White...loves it. (Five Ounces of Pain)
"What they should be worrying about is — they’ve already seen first hand that nobody gives a shit about Affliction MMA — what they need to starting worrying about is nobody wants to wear their goofy fucking clothes anymore either." - White, underestimating the armies of macho frat boys desperate to signal their manliness.
YEAH, I CAN HATE ON WHITE GUYS TOO
"I don’t plan on letting [Rashad Evans] stay champ for long." - Former UFC light heavyweight champ Chuck Liddell who must be planning a sick run-in during the Machida-Evans fight. You're only relevant because Joe American still thinks you're a badass. (Fighters Only)
"I thought I was winning that fight." - Liddell, on his fight with Evans. That's nice. It's too bad you woke up wondering how Rampage knocked you out again.
"I made a mistake, got caught and dropped." - Liddell, who happened to make the same "mistake" against Rampage. And "dropped" is putting it lightly. Rashad took a couple years off your life, bud.
C'MON GUYS, LET'S LEAVE PAT SMITH AND TANK ABBOTT OUT OF THIS
"Fuck Jake Shields’ bitch ass." - Joe Riggs, how do you really feel? (Versus)
"I have done enough in this sport to be fucking treated with a certain amount of respect, and to talk about me like I am a fucking Pat Smith or Tank Abbott." - Riggs, really looking forward to next week's quotes from Tank Abbott.
"For one, I am like six years younger than that punk ass motherfucker. So, fuck him." - Riggs. Yeah, fuck older people.
"I would really, really fight Jake Shields for free just to shut his mouth up." - Riggs, I'd like to go on record and say that I'm available to promote this fight. All profits will be donated to the Human Fund.
IT REALLY ISN'T NEWS UNTIL MAYHEM OPINES
"Look, don’t have the rule if you’re not going to enforce it. Don’t even have the rule." - Jason "Mayhem" Miller, frustrated by NSAC's impotency with regards to the greasing scandal. (Sherdog)
"Let’s just cover ourselves in baby oil and let’s fight. Lets do it." - Miller. Screw the fighting. Just douse yourself in baby oil and roll around with other dudes. Arianny? Nah, we don't need her. Just you and GSP and Tank Abbott. We can't leave Tank out of this one.
"I would fight Georges with a tire iron. We both have a tire iron and a trash can lid and I’d fight him like that." - Miller taking the next step in MMA evolution.
THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS, IT JUST GOES ON AND ON MY FRIENDS
"I want to provide a great spectacle for those who are at home." - Former Pride middleweight champ Wanderlei Silva announcing plans to fight Rich Franklin in the nude. (Sherdog)
"A lot of people came and said, especially after that last fight, that I must retire. I am very young and I still have something to show." - Silva, who is a perfect example of Karl Pilkington's "looks 78, is actually 32."
"I listen to people, [when] I enter the Octagon, saying, ‘We will watch this because this will be a good fight.’ While people keep saying that, I will continue fighting." - Silva, on his way to becoming MMA's Muhammad Ali?
"I will be there to knock out or be knocked out." - Silva, (insert frowny face here).
AT LEAST THE TRASH TALK WILL BE ENTERTAINING
"According to him what he’s saying and his wife and everybody, they want me dead. So it’s really exciting." - Former UFC welterweight champ Matt Serra. I guess a death threat isn't very intimidating when you live in mafia-infused New York. (Sherdog)
"I know where he’s really dangerous. What do you want me to say? He’s a swell guy and I can’t wait to fight him? Fuck him." - Serra, I mean, how can you hold a grudge against a guy who boasts about beating up his dad?
WHITE NOISE
"I called B.J. to tell him to stop with the BS and to start fucking training." - UFC President Dana White, really enjoying the whole GreaseGate business. (BloodyElbow)
"When Chuck used to fight in the smaller shows, he would sleep on Mask's couch. That's the kind of guy he was." - White, with a nice little anecdote from MMA's past. (The Fukerton)
PARTING SHOTS
"He’s like a freight train." - Dennis Hallman, who holds two victories over Matt Hughes, explaining that Matt Serra needs to look to finish early before Hughes builds up steam. (The MMA Fiend)
"That’s something that’s already been arranged, it’s all practically a done deal." - UFC middleweight champ Anderson Silva talking up a boxing match with Roy Jones Jr. after his UFC contract expires. I hope he knows about the squashed Sylvia/Mercer bout. (Gracie Mag)
"I wouldn't train to beat Jeff Curran, I would train to hurt Jeff Curran." - Miguel Torres, badass as usual. Curran recently called him out in his hometown. (Versus)
"He’s already in nice shape." - Demian Maia, on Mauricio Rua. "Shogun" is now prepared to fight effectively into the fourth minute. (Sherdog)
"When I get to the UFC, I want people to say ‘Bobby is good enough to go for the title.’" - Bobby Lashley, a long ways off after his performance against Jason Guida. (Pro MMA Radio)
"That's hitting the damn lottery. How are you going to act when you win $10 million. Do you care what other people think? Hell no!" - Brandon Vera explaining why he doesn't fault Matt Hamill for his post-fight celebration at UFC 96. (Cage Writer)
"I have to address the Chris Brown-Rihanna situation. It's not cool to put your hands on a woman. If you need someone to kick his ass...holla." - Din Thomas being Din Thomas. (Cage Writer)
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54 comments
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Comments
GSP was a hardcore trash man for a while, he knows how to use a trashcan lid. Miller should choose different weapons.
A man should never waste an opportunity to keep his mouth shut.
by iiowyn on Mar 28, 2009 8:36 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
LOL
http://www.mma-collective.com/
by schizosmurf on Mar 28, 2009 10:11 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Karl Pilkington Reference? Beautiful.
I could eat a knob at night.
by Gogo Platter on Mar 28, 2009 8:47 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
there’s a special internet that comes out at night? sweet!
by Benicio on Mar 29, 2009 8:31 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
\/ \/ \/ oops. reply is to below dammit \/ \/ \/
by Benicio on Mar 29, 2009 8:32 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
“Let’s just cover ourselves in baby oil and let’s fight. Lets do it.” – Mayhem Miller
Strangely, I know of a new porn site that’s exactly that (Naked Kombat). You learn many weird things surfing the internet at night.
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. -Samuel Beckett
by themachiavellian on Mar 28, 2009 10:47 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
machida is not the 1rst fighter or person that ive heard drinks their own urine(luke cummo, joe rogan, bear grylls) so it wasn’t that big of a shock to me. as a matter of fact i remember reading about yogis drinking their own urine like 10-15 years ago when the supplement melatonin 1rst came out on the market. i read it in an article in muscle and fitness about something the yogi’s called their “early morning kahli” and it’s affects. alledgedly it has all kinds of health benifits. i almost tried it once, but i couldn’t make it past my nose. :-)
by bdw on Mar 28, 2009 10:52 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Bear grylls doesn't drink his own urine
He drank it during a 100+ degree day in the Australian Outback for fluids. Slight difference
Gimme 1 round!
by ItBurnzWhenIP on Mar 28, 2009 10:54 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
he did but he doesn’t? i saw that episode. drinking piss is drinking piss imo. different reasons maybe. i would probably drink it too if i was in the outback desert with no water.
by bdw on Mar 28, 2009 11:40 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
When I say he doesn't
I mean he drank it only under extraordinary circumstances. Lyoto drinks his piss with green eggs and ham
Gimme 1 round!
by ItBurnzWhenIP on Mar 28, 2009 11:51 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
fair enough
bear grylls is a bad dude imo. except for that snickers bar he carries around when the camera’s are off.
by bdw on Mar 28, 2009 11:59 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Les Stroud is the more hardcore survivalist, though Grylls is the more hardcore overall between the two.
A man should never waste an opportunity to keep his mouth shut.
by iiowyn on Mar 29, 2009 12:12 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I much prefer Stroud – it never feels as though he’s showing off for the camera, and he really is alone in the wild. The physical toll was so demanding that he can’t do Survivorman anymore.
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. -Samuel Beckett
by themachiavellian on Mar 29, 2009 12:27 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
LOLZ
@ liking Stroud more. What a sad sack that dude is. “Oh….. I can’t catch a fish. I wish I was dead.”
"I hit [Evensen], and you could just see it in his head. He went, 'Oh, man. We don't have to do this anymore. I'm good. Thanks for having me. I'm going to go home now." -Pat "The Real Techno Viking" Berry
by Blackout612 on Mar 29, 2009 1:22 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Um...
You do know Bear Grylls is a fake right? Go youtube a video of man vs wild fake. Here’s the link but look it up on youtube if they delete it. They actually had to remove from the air all the videos that were exposed as fake, that’s why so few Man Vs. Wild are still shown. So yes Stroud is 100X the man Bear is because he’s actually in that situation, so Stroud’s pathetic comments are what real people in real situations would sound like.
by majesticlamb on Mar 29, 2009 1:42 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
MY EYES!!
You just joined SBN/BE to out Bear Grylls. I bet you believe in Chris Angel.
"I hit [Evensen], and you could just see it in his head. He went, 'Oh, man. We don't have to do this anymore. I'm good. Thanks for having me. I'm going to go home now." -Pat "The Real Techno Viking" Berry
by Blackout612 on Mar 29, 2009 1:45 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
xD
I joined a few weeks ago, I just only posted because all of you guys were making Bear Grylls sound like Chuck Norris . And no Chris Angel and David Blaine are fake, it’s called illusions for a reason. I’ve read bloodyelbow articles for over a year now, just recently signed up, and today was my first post. If being a first poster makes me a Chris Angel believer, then so be it.
by majesticlamb on Mar 29, 2009 1:55 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
You'd have to believe in the likes of Chris Angel
To think it’s ridiculous that a man who is on a television program has to risk his life everytime he demo’s a catwalk. Have you seen him do a chimney climb? Don’t be ridiculous….. Stroud’s most daunting task is sitting on a creak drinking his allotted can of soda.
"I hit [Evensen], and you could just see it in his head. He went, 'Oh, man. We don't have to do this anymore. I'm good. Thanks for having me. I'm going to go home now." -Pat "The Real Techno Viking" Berry
by Blackout612 on Mar 29, 2009 2:05 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
You realize Stroud is out alone for seven days and has to set up and do his own camera work by himself right? Bear Grylls has a camera crew tagging along with him and has to have a disclaimer on his show that what he is showing is not real, it is set up so that he can demonstrate survival techniques while not actually in a survival situation.
A man should never waste an opportunity to keep his mouth shut.
by iiowyn on Mar 29, 2009 2:15 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Nothing particularly wrong with that, as you say, his show is just to demonstrate survival techniques. Not really any need to put himself in danger for added ‘authenticity’
Anyway, I’d say being a serving member of the SAS reserves, suffering a near paralysing fall and then becoming the youngest brit (at the time) to climb Everest is still pretty ‘badass’
by -Sam on Mar 29, 2009 8:03 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Also the youngest, (and first?) man
to sail a 1 man boat through the North Sea. Grylls has survived shit that would make Les Stroud shit himself. His contract is to demonstrate survival techniques unaided unless he’s in immediate danger of life or limb. He does shit that you may need to in a desperation situation in your attempt to reach help when you know your chances of rescue are slim. Stroud just shows you how to stay in place for 7 days and nights and wait for rescue or death.
I’ve never seen Les jump into a frozen pond just to show you what do to dry yourself and save yourself from freezing to death because its not what he does. Its what Bear does and he doesn’t fake the shitty parts. Just like… Hunting the rabbit with a thrown stick – I mean come on do you really think he nailed a rabbit first try for TV? That shot would take forever to get so they faked it for demonstration purposes. And do they really need to get a TV crew out into the middle of nowhere in Hawaii to demonstrate how to survive on a volcanic area? Not really. Les would shrivel up and die before rescue using his techniques in the places Bear trys to teach people how to get out of alive.
Gimme 1 round!
by ItBurnzWhenIP on Mar 29, 2009 11:21 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Seriously
Remember when he shot an arrow through that iguana’s neck? Certified badass. Those climbs he make are not suspension assisted and jumping into freezing water and various other risks he takes are well beyond anything that happens on Survivorman. They’re not comparable shows, but they are shows and if anyone finds Survivorman’s isolation, constant whining, and repeated failure at catching food somehow more entertaining than Bear Grylls climbing inside of a fucking glacier, have at it..
"I hit [Evensen], and you could just see it in his head. He went, 'Oh, man. We don't have to do this anymore. I'm good. Thanks for having me. I'm going to go home now." -Pat "The Real Techno Viking" Berry
by Blackout612 on Mar 29, 2009 11:51 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Jesus people, I know Grylls is a hardcore bad ass, I love watching both of their shows. The thing is he always makes sure that his image keeps up as a hard core bad ass and sets up his show to look that way.
Les Stroud goes out, survives on his own, and doesn’t care that people see him fuck up like what actually happens when you have to survive on your own. He does three times as much actual work as you see because he has to set up his own cameras to film all those long distance shots so that the show looks good on television. Just give credit where credit is due.
A man should never waste an opportunity to keep his mouth shut.
by iiowyn on Mar 29, 2009 12:57 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
No
They’re TV shows. One is a better TV show and I enjoy watching the personality more. That’s black and white. I don’t give a shit if Stroud is slowly dying on a bluff because he can’t set a trap. It’s shit TV. And if you think Grylls has less credibility because he isn’t gradually starving himself to death, but takes much greater risks in demoing individual circumstances— real good then. Enjoy yourself. You know John Cena did all of his own stunts in 12 Rounds, that just came out last Friday? Maybe you should go watch it and support his bravery.
"I hit [Evensen], and you could just see it in his head. He went, 'Oh, man. We don't have to do this anymore. I'm good. Thanks for having me. I'm going to go home now." -Pat "The Real Techno Viking" Berry
by Blackout612 on Mar 29, 2009 2:15 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I like the isolation aspect of Survivorman. It’s just him, alone. The constant talking is his way of not going stir crazy. I certainly don’t think Grylls is a wimp by any means, I just prefer the bleaker, more existential aspect of Stroud’s show. The more theatrical Man vs Wild doesn’t really appeal to me.
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. -Samuel Beckett
by themachiavellian on Mar 29, 2009 3:14 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
And I like how this thread became a Grylls vs Stroud debate. Completely random and off-topic.
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. -Samuel Beckett
by themachiavellian on Mar 29, 2009 3:30 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Haha
All because of Machida drinking his own piss. It really is magical..
"I hit [Evensen], and you could just see it in his head. He went, 'Oh, man. We don't have to do this anymore. I'm good. Thanks for having me. I'm going to go home now." -Pat "The Real Techno Viking" Berry
by Blackout612 on Mar 29, 2009 3:44 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
So very elusive we aren’t even talking about it anymore.
A man should never waste an opportunity to keep his mouth shut.
by iiowyn on Mar 29, 2009 4:02 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
On a related to both topics note
I bet Bear’s piss tastes way better than Les’ because he actually has some nice bottled water to keep his piss from being pure urea.
Gimme 1 round!
by ItBurnzWhenIP on Mar 29, 2009 5:40 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Also
What exactly is Grylls doing to make himself look like a bad ass? Laughing and smiling the whole time and talking about his kids? What a stone cold, ass kicking, mother fucker.
"I hit [Evensen], and you could just see it in his head. He went, 'Oh, man. We don't have to do this anymore. I'm good. Thanks for having me. I'm going to go home now." -Pat "The Real Techno Viking" Berry
by Blackout612 on Mar 29, 2009 2:18 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Oh and just for the record, out of the two shows, only Stroud’s had a jury rigged flame thrower.
A man should never waste an opportunity to keep his mouth shut.
by iiowyn on Mar 29, 2009 1:00 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Really thats not very hard...
flammable aerosol and something to make a spark.
Lemme see him make an improvised cutting torch or arc welder and i’ll be impressed.
Gimme 1 round!
by ItBurnzWhenIP on Mar 29, 2009 5:42 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
I’d like to see either of them make a rocket propelled grenade out of tin foil, a ping pong ball and some vaseline.
MacGyver FTW!
by -Sam on Mar 29, 2009 6:04 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
"I see him beating Anderson Silva. I see him picking him apart. Him at a 131 years old...(trails off)." - Tito on Belfort at Affliction:DOR
by Rundownloser on Mar 29, 2009 2:27 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
He spent his honeymoon at Goldsborough Lake in the Canadian wilderness for an entire year living primitively. That’s pretty hardcore.
No one is more hardcore than Reinhold Messner, however. He’s the first man to climb Everest alone without supplemental oxygen.
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. -Samuel Beckett
by themachiavellian on Mar 29, 2009 3:34 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Actually in 1989 I official took the title of most hardcore man in the world away from Reinhold Messner or Messy as we called him at the lodge.
This transpired after a whiskey fueled “Betty or Veronica” argument escalated into a no hands knife fight.
Many claims that the only reason that I won was because, lacking most of his toes, Messy could only hold one knife vs my three. The fact remains only one of us has now has my name carved into their ass.
The title was taken from my less than three weeks later when a guy named Topper Carew beat me an in ill advised game of coat hangers.
To my knowledge Reinhold Messner never regained the title.
I dislike Matt Hughes.
by MonkeyCHops on Mar 29, 2009 4:11 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
You mean Stroud came out of the wilderness when he got sick?
He faked it!
Gimme 1 round!
by ItBurnzWhenIP on Mar 29, 2009 11:24 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
In that one episode Stroud punks out
instead of staying out there when he realizes that a jaguar is stalking him.
Bear would have killed it with with a knife, a stick, a well woven vine and his sharp wits with which he’d devise a clever trap. Then he’d feast on it before it died because it has more minerals that way.
Gimme 1 round!
by ItBurnzWhenIP on Mar 29, 2009 1:38 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Actually Bear would have gotten the rifle his camera crew is carrying and shot it, then taken it back to his hotel he stays in and eaten it. Bear is a bad ass, but his show is definitely much more a TV show than a survival one.
A man should never waste an opportunity to keep his mouth shut.
by iiowyn on Mar 29, 2009 2:13 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
i saw Bear eat a nut out of a real bear’s shit. now that’s tough!
by bdw on Mar 29, 2009 2:09 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Nah
It was a macadamia nut housed in a pile of brown sugar. Fake as fuck…
"I hit [Evensen], and you could just see it in his head. He went, 'Oh, man. We don't have to do this anymore. I'm good. Thanks for having me. I'm going to go home now." -Pat "The Real Techno Viking" Berry
by Blackout612 on Mar 29, 2009 2:16 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
And to think
Rashad did all that to Chuck with his eyes closed… Imagine what he could have done if he knew to keep his eyes open while punching.
Gimme 1 round!
by ItBurnzWhenIP on Mar 28, 2009 10:53 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
It’s too bad you woke up wondering how Rampage knocked you out again.
Full of awesome.
Kuwabara Kuwabara
by J. B. Maddox on Mar 28, 2009 11:08 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
For the love of god, no one ask Machida what his recipe is for chocolate milk.
How’s taste his pee pee? -Machida knows!!
Can you imagine what it must have been like for Machida growing up?
Kid: “Hey, what’s that in your themos, Lyoto?”
Lil Lyoto: “Uhhh, Sunny D.”
Keep firing Assholes!
by Ubernoober on Mar 28, 2009 11:59 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs
i really hope machida dos’nt drink his own piss
by mma is #1 on Mar 29, 2009 1:57 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Well being intrigued by this piss-gate I have surfed the net against my will to find the history, which I bring to you in a short message entitled: Piss Drinking Anonymous.
The activity is called urophagia, greek for ‘I can’t believe he drank his own piss’.
“Hippocrates (460-377 B.C.), namesake of the Hippocratic oath, was the first in the Western world to record and teach the practice of uropoty (the drinking of urine). The theory of urine therapy states: In the excreted urine all the body’s experiences — physical and psychological — are collected. Reintroducing the urine to the body forces the body’s immune system to confront the same experiences a second time, which gives it a second incentive to deal with the problem.”
The history of drinking urine is almost as old as history itself, apparently the mind alludes to urine as a tasty free beverage.
“Historical anecdotes have said that drinking urine can prevent strokes and help break down blood clots and scabs. This lore was applied when investigators in the nineteenth century found that some component of urine could digest proteins, specifically fibrin, the key in clotting.”
“Several references recommend drinking urine for sleeplessness. And it’s a well-known fact now that melatonin is a natural hormone that helps regulate sleep. So guess what? Melatonin is present in significant amounts in the urine, especially morning urine. And not only melatonin is present. There is a compound known as muramyl dipeptide. Simply put, it mirrors the action of seratonin, another well-known calming hormone.”
I am feeling thirsty now, and I must also pee.
Two birds with one stone?
by DirtyML on Mar 29, 2009 2:50 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
Back in ‘those days’ they used to subscribe some seriously disgusting things to cure simple ailments.
Thank God we live in the era of the tablet.
by Benicio on Mar 29, 2009 8:40 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs
Also I love the entire ‘personal life’ stub on Wikipedia for Machida, the only three things it has is that he is married, has a son and drinks urine.
by DirtyML on Mar 29, 2009 3:00 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs
mmmm...urine

If you're not submitting, you're just rolling around with another guy.
by BJJDenver on Mar 29, 2009 11:33 AM EDT reply actions 2 recs
I wonder if he chills it, salts the rim of the glass or just drinks it fresh and warm…………………………the idea disgusts me. He does know UFC and Xience have a deal worked out, doesn’t he ????
'This isn't fucking 'Survivor' here guys..........................If you want someone off the show, ya gotta beat 'em off..................Wait, that didn't come out right."
Dana White
TUF Season 7
by Uke Hammer on Mar 29, 2009 7:48 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

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