PRO WRESTLING AND MMA, BEST FRIENDS FOREVER
"You've been faking this for how long? Tell'em, let'em know. How long's it been since you trained hard? How long has it been since you squared up against someone who's going to hit you on the chin and not pull a punch?" - Jason Guida talking trash about opponent Bobbly Lashley. Guida, reportedly, "immediately regrets this decision." (Bloody Elbow)
"Like, Hulk Hogan never did anything that was like 'Ooooh, ooooh.' He never jumped off the top rope and did a triple backflip or anything like that." - Lashley during a discussion explaining the differences between training for pro wrestling and MMA. Elsewhere, Terry Bollea claims he did in fact perform a triple backflip in a dark match in Missoula, Montana. (USA Today)
"I was sitting at home at the time and someone told me – that was the first I’d heard about it. I hear I handled it pretty well though. I’m happy with myself! I’m pretty sure Tim won’t hold a grudge." - Pro wrestler Glenn Jacobs (a.k.a. Kane) denying reports he beat up Tim Sylvia with some ground 'n' pound. (The Sun UK)
"After I take him he's gonna have to toil (on the lower levels). He's gonna have to go to some different shows. UFC ain't gonna grab him up." - Guida, on Lashley (and himself). (Cagewriter)
"If you ask [my brother Frank Shamrock], I smoke crack, I do steroids and I cut myself (to get out of the Kimbo Slice fight). I mean you name it, I’ve done it — just ask him." - Ken Shamrock moments before being busted for three different steroids. (Pro MMA Radio)
"Today I talked to Philadelphia, Phoenix, they're all saying, 'When are you coming?' The answer is, invite us out and we'll be there -- no question." - UFC Vice President Marc Ratner on the willingness of Zuffa to work with local athletic commissions. (Vancouver Sun)
"I shudder to think what sort of impact this sort of activity will have on kids. Fighting in a cage - it's like Thunderdome."" - Vancouver Sun reader "EastVanDude" putting the "d'oh" in "Oh, Canada."
"When I eventually lost the match, the cheers for my opponent were deafening." - Former UFC welterweight champ Matt Serra making an impassioned case for MMA's legalization in New York State. (Newsday)
I SAY KING, YOU SAY...
"Not as popular as I was in Iran. People know me, but nothing like Iran, where everywhere I went, I was mobbed." - Muhammad "King Mo" Lawal answering a question about his popularity in Japan. (Cagewriter)
"I'm not a pimp, I'm not a gangsta. It doesn't limit me because there are kings from all races." - Lawal, hopefully not talking about those African kings that sold rival tribes into slavery.
"If you have their timing down, you can beat them. That's why people have such a hard time with Machida, because they can't figure out his timing." - Lawal setting up a build towards UFC 122: Lawal vs. Machida
GREASEGATE: OFFICIALLY MORE ANNOYING THAN CLEANING GREASE TRAPS
"Before you say I'm anti-George or anti-B.J., you have to say you're pro-MMA. This is about cleaning the thing up. So what if I'm wrong? I filed a complaint and I'm wrong, at least the sport's intact and they've got new rules for the next generation." - UFC lightweight champ B.J. Penn (Cagewriter)
"I have no plans to bring a complaint against anybody in this matter." - Head of NSAC Keith Kizer drawing a line in the sand. (Las Vegas Review-Journal)
"Thank God that wasn't Keith Kizer. Truth be told, what would Kizer have done?" - Penn Lawyer Raffi Nahabedian positing Kizer's action in the Antonio Margarito glove scandal.
THE ONE WHERE WE LAUGH LIKE SCHOOL GIRLS
"At least I have to be, to pull out the beast." - Former Strikeforce lightweight champ Gilbert Melendez trying to remain friendless at 155. (MMA Weekly)
"It's just kind of in and out." - B.J. Penn describing his consciousness after round two of his fight with Georges St. Pierre. (Cagewriter)
GET YOUR ASS KICKED, GET A TITLE SHOT
"He came up to me and said ‘congratulations for your title shot’ and that when I continued to fight on after taking that illegal knee from Marquardt, at that moment, he thought ‘this kid deserves a title shot.’" - Thales Leites describing a meeting with Joe Silva. If true, why didn't Yushin Okami get his mandatory title shot after losing to Rich Franklin? (Yahoo Eurosport)
"He has a lot of skills, but he is not unbeatable; he is a man, like everyone else." - Leites, the last man to say this lost via knee destruction via mind control.
TIME TO WORK AT A LIQUOR STORE, BRO
"I'm begging you guys. This is the only form of income that I provide my family with. If I don't fight, I'm basically nothing. I'm very, very sorry it won't happen again." - Karo Parisyan, who's basically nothing even when he is fighting. (Cagewriter)
"I'm supposed to get married in August. If I don't fight, I don't get married." - Parisyan, hope your wife loves opiate addicts.
BETTER SOUTHERN FEUD THAN YOUNG VS. SKYNYRD
"I think that this is a really good match up for me." - TUF 8 rabble rouser Junie Browning on Cole Miller.(Fives Ounces of Pain)
"I think it was a good fight for me to take, but he's definitely a step down for sure, as far as a quality opponent." - Miller, with a remark that equates to an honor duel in Browning's neck of the woods. (Bloody Elbow)
"Anyone else he’s fought, he hasn’t really shown me anything spectacular on the ground." - Browning
"I'm a brown belt American Top Team fighter. I didn't get my purple belt from some guy in the middle of Kentucky." - Miller, retorts. (Fight Hype)
"I've made it very clear to Chuck. Very clear. It's not about money, it's not about this, that. Chuck is one of my good friends. Chuck (has) cemented his legacy in the UFC and in the fight game. [But] unless he looks incredibly impressive (in Montreal) — I mean, he's going to have to go out there and dazzle me, for me to want Chuck to still fight...I love him, and I don't want to see what I saw in his last fight ever again." - UFC President Dana White with an ultimatum for Chuck Liddell. (Canadian Telegraph Journal)
"And in the middle of it they put on a Muay Thai fight. You could've heard a fucking pin drop and the place emptied out." - White, describing the difficulties of a mixed combat sport show. And the Bisping/Evans main event at UFC 78. (Cagewriter)
"I'm a fight fan. I can watch two guys play fucking pinochle but not every feels that way." - White, though I'm not sure where one draws a parallel between pinochle and combat sports.
"I’m also younger, faster and better looking!" - Dan Hardy's analysis of his fight with Marcus Davis. (MMA Fiend)
"In fact, I really don’t like fighting, I never did." - Kurt Pellegrino explaining a lot. (The Garv)
"I don’t think we are ever looking to go up against the UFC or anyone for that matter." - Affliction COO Michael Cohen. Shortly afterwards, it was announced that Affliction would go ahead with plans to counter-program UFC 100. (Versus)
"It’s not because he’s 45 that that you have to go there and kill him." - Demian Maia playing the role of Mauricio Rua apologist. And he's right. But you should kill him because he's Mark Coleman. (Tatame)
"But last summer in America, during the first Affliction show, he came up to me all green and with shaking lips said, 'Sasha, I agree to fight with you'. Therefore, possibly, revenge between us will take place." - Aleksander Emelianenko describing a dream he had involving the personification of his Hepatitis virus.