The Week in Quotes: March 14th - 20th
by Mike Fagan on Mar 21, 2009 9:19 PM EDT
in MMA News
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PRO WRESTLING AND MMA, BEST FRIENDS FOREVER
"You've been faking this for how long? Tell'em, let'em know. How long's it been since you trained hard? How long has it been since you squared up against someone who's going to hit you on the chin and not pull a punch?" - Jason Guida talking trash about opponent Bobbly Lashley. Guida, reportedly, "immediately regrets this decision." (Bloody Elbow)
"Like, Hulk Hogan never did anything that was like 'Ooooh, ooooh.' He never jumped off the top rope and did a triple backflip or anything like that." - Lashley during a discussion explaining the differences between training for pro wrestling and MMA. Elsewhere, Terry Bollea claims he did in fact perform a triple backflip in a dark match in Missoula, Montana. (USA Today)
"I was sitting at home at the time and someone told me – that was the first I’d heard about it. I hear I handled it pretty well though. I’m happy with myself! I’m pretty sure Tim won’t hold a grudge." - Pro wrestler Glenn Jacobs (a.k.a. Kane) denying reports he beat up Tim Sylvia with some ground 'n' pound. (The Sun UK)
"After I take him he's gonna have to toil (on the lower levels). He's gonna have to go to some different shows. UFC ain't gonna grab him up." - Guida, on Lashley (and himself). (Cagewriter)
"If you ask [my brother Frank Shamrock], I smoke crack, I do steroids and I cut myself (to get out of the Kimbo Slice fight). I mean you name it, I’ve done it — just ask him." - Ken Shamrock moments before being busted for three different steroids. (Pro MMA Radio)
REGULATE THUNDERDOME
"Today I talked to Philadelphia, Phoenix, they're all saying, 'When are you coming?' The answer is, invite us out and we'll be there -- no question." - UFC Vice President Marc Ratner on the willingness of Zuffa to work with local athletic commissions. (Vancouver Sun)
"I shudder to think what sort of impact this sort of activity will have on kids. Fighting in a cage - it's like Thunderdome."" - Vancouver Sun reader "EastVanDude" putting the "d'oh" in "Oh, Canada."
"When I eventually lost the match, the cheers for my opponent were deafening." - Former UFC welterweight champ Matt Serra making an impassioned case for MMA's legalization in New York State. (Newsday)
I SAY KING, YOU SAY...
"Not as popular as I was in Iran. People know me, but nothing like Iran, where everywhere I went, I was mobbed." - Muhammad "King Mo" Lawal answering a question about his popularity in Japan. (Cagewriter)
"I'm not a pimp, I'm not a gangsta. It doesn't limit me because there are kings from all races." - Lawal, hopefully not talking about those African kings that sold rival tribes into slavery.
"If you have their timing down, you can beat them. That's why people have such a hard time with Machida, because they can't figure out his timing." - Lawal setting up a build towards UFC 122: Lawal vs. Machida
GREASEGATE: OFFICIALLY MORE ANNOYING THAN CLEANING GREASE TRAPS
"Before you say I'm anti-George or anti-B.J., you have to say you're pro-MMA. This is about cleaning the thing up. So what if I'm wrong? I filed a complaint and I'm wrong, at least the sport's intact and they've got new rules for the next generation." - UFC lightweight champ B.J. Penn (Cagewriter)
"I have no plans to bring a complaint against anybody in this matter." - Head of NSAC Keith Kizer drawing a line in the sand. (Las Vegas Review-Journal)
"Thank God that wasn't Keith Kizer. Truth be told, what would Kizer have done?" - Penn Lawyer Raffi Nahabedian positing Kizer's action in the Antonio Margarito glove scandal.
THE ONE WHERE WE LAUGH LIKE SCHOOL GIRLS
"At least I have to be, to pull out the beast." - Former Strikeforce lightweight champ Gilbert Melendez trying to remain friendless at 155. (MMA Weekly)
"It's just kind of in and out." - B.J. Penn describing his consciousness after round two of his fight with Georges St. Pierre. (Cagewriter)
GET YOUR ASS KICKED, GET A TITLE SHOT
"He came up to me and said ‘congratulations for your title shot’ and that when I continued to fight on after taking that illegal knee from Marquardt, at that moment, he thought ‘this kid deserves a title shot.’" - Thales Leites describing a meeting with Joe Silva. If true, why didn't Yushin Okami get his mandatory title shot after losing to Rich Franklin? (Yahoo Eurosport)
"He has a lot of skills, but he is not unbeatable; he is a man, like everyone else." - Leites, the last man to say this lost via knee destruction via mind control.
TIME TO WORK AT A LIQUOR STORE, BRO
"I'm begging you guys. This is the only form of income that I provide my family with. If I don't fight, I'm basically nothing. I'm very, very sorry it won't happen again." - Karo Parisyan, who's basically nothing even when he is fighting. (Cagewriter)
"I'm supposed to get married in August. If I don't fight, I don't get married." - Parisyan, hope your wife loves opiate addicts.
BETTER SOUTHERN FEUD THAN YOUNG VS. SKYNYRD
"I think that this is a really good match up for me." - TUF 8 rabble rouser Junie Browning on Cole Miller.(Fives Ounces of Pain)
"I think it was a good fight for me to take, but he's definitely a step down for sure, as far as a quality opponent." - Miller, with a remark that equates to an honor duel in Browning's neck of the woods. (Bloody Elbow)
"Anyone else he’s fought, he hasn’t really shown me anything spectacular on the ground." - Browning
"I'm a brown belt American Top Team fighter. I didn't get my purple belt from some guy in the middle of Kentucky." - Miller, retorts. (Fight Hype)
WHITE NOISE
"I've made it very clear to Chuck. Very clear. It's not about money, it's not about this, that. Chuck is one of my good friends. Chuck (has) cemented his legacy in the UFC and in the fight game. [But] unless he looks incredibly impressive (in Montreal) — I mean, he's going to have to go out there and dazzle me, for me to want Chuck to still fight...I love him, and I don't want to see what I saw in his last fight ever again." - UFC President Dana White with an ultimatum for Chuck Liddell. (Canadian Telegraph Journal)
"And in the middle of it they put on a Muay Thai fight. You could've heard a fucking pin drop and the place emptied out." - White, describing the difficulties of a mixed combat sport show. And the Bisping/Evans main event at UFC 78. (Cagewriter)
"I'm a fight fan. I can watch two guys play fucking pinochle but not every feels that way." - White, though I'm not sure where one draws a parallel between pinochle and combat sports.
PARTING SHOTS
"I’m also younger, faster and better looking!" - Dan Hardy's analysis of his fight with Marcus Davis. (MMA Fiend)
"In fact, I really don’t like fighting, I never did." - Kurt Pellegrino explaining a lot. (The Garv)
"I don’t think we are ever looking to go up against the UFC or anyone for that matter." - Affliction COO Michael Cohen. Shortly afterwards, it was announced that Affliction would go ahead with plans to counter-program UFC 100. (Versus)
"It’s not because he’s 45 that that you have to go there and kill him." - Demian Maia playing the role of Mauricio Rua apologist. And he's right. But you should kill him because he's Mark Coleman. (Tatame)
"But last summer in America, during the first Affliction show, he came up to me all green and with shaking lips said, 'Sasha, I agree to fight with you'. Therefore, possibly, revenge between us will take place." - Aleksander Emelianenko describing a dream he had involving the personification of his Hepatitis virus.
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I love How...
Bloggers, and mma fans alike think its okay to fighter bash as long as the fighter is unpopular… Karo is going through a lot, and is obviously in a bad place right now… I think its very opportunistic, and classless to kick a guy while he’s down in such a way, especially regarding his family life. I understand if you aren’t a fan, but this is a guy who’s stepped in with some of the best in the world, and performed well… 7-3-1 in the UFC (i think)… You would think Karo was kicking dogs, and spitting on old people in his spare time the way so many people online talk shit about him.
Karo will be back, and he I hope he is able to once again solidify himself as one of the best WW’s in the world.
It’s like with BJ – if they would quit making excuses, it would go away – I’m well aware that mental illness is something you choose, but he never admits it’s his problem.
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. -Samuel Beckett
by Scott C. Broussard on Mar 21, 2009 10:37 PM EDT up reply actions
But
He’s the only one whose spouse and possible drug addiction you’ve gone after. Sure he was a moron for taking them and bringing up his wedding at a disciplinary hearing, but hoping someone’s wife “loves an opiate addict” is not dogging someone – it’s personal and unnecessary, especially with something as serious as mental illness and substance abuse. Why not use the same depraved language when discussing Shamrock’s positive test in the same piece?
And what does slavery have to do with anything? Interesting how an Armenian and African American take the blunt of your criticisms here.
Karo hasn’t admitted he most likely has a painkiller addiction, and if his wife doesn’t make him realize that, she’s just as culpable. Once Karo stops blaming everyone else for his issues, we’ll stop blaming him.
The slavery joke was just a lame jab – Mo said that kings transcend ethnicity, when it’s clear they didn’t.
If you’re thinking that Fagan or this site is racist, then either you’re new here or just causing trouble.
Remember, this is satire. NOTHING is sacred in satire.
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. -Samuel Beckett
by Scott C. Broussard on Mar 21, 2009 11:16 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
That’s right, everyone should write down what they want to say and analyze it…before they publish it or actually speak the words. We DON’T want to offend anyone now, it might end up being such a devastating blow to their psyche that there is no way out but to curl up into a fetal position.
Amazing how anyone can even function in daily life while holding everything in the world up to a PC friendly magnifying glass. The world is not, nor ever will be to everyone’s liking. If people can’t handle a different view point, or are horribly offended by any offhanded comedic comments, then I don’t really know what else to tell you. You’re going to have a long and horrible life, because everything is going to offend you.
Some pretty extreme insinuations you made at the end of your little soap box shout out.
Next time just cover your eyes so you don’t have to read the posts….or if someone is speaking something that horribly offends you….do the ever popular [insert fingers in ear and shout “LALALALALALALALALA, I’M NOT LISTENING”
Not Quite...
machiavelli is right: in satire anything goes. The problem is that once published publicly, comments of any kind (comedic or not) are subject to scrutiny. That’s why we have comments on blogs, letters to the editor in newspapers and legal liability (civil for defamation, criminal for hatred). I’m not suggesting Fagan has crossed into those categories but I don’t think you can hide behind comedy when someone questions your words.
Second, I never called the author or the site racist: I questioned why his post does not go after all his victims equally. No I don’t think there is some comedic barometer by which one should calculate the level of attack, but when you selectively mock on the basis of addiction, mental health or race, you should expect to be called out.
This has nothing to do with being PC or insisting that the world be shaped to my liking. BE holds itself to a very high standard and produces an incredible product – the best in the business IMO. The thoughtfulness of BE’s staff demonstrates that those who care about this sport are concerned about the way fighters are portrayed, MMA is covered and the type of dialogue their work stimulates- this is precisely why fighter bashing will get you banned. The editors certainly analyze what they write and expect the same from us. True fans can discuss the substance; the rest will go after those they disagree with personally and tell them to “curl up in the fetal position.”
by trainyourmind on Mar 22, 2009 6:54 PM EDT up reply actions
You know what I agree with those 2 guys above your blantantly and unprofessionally fighter bashing. You should be thankful you have your position on great site like be and not jepoardize it with classless disrespectful posts like this one. Mike Fagan you are a COWARD and you could’nt wash Karo Parysians jockstrap nor would you ever have the guts to say anything close to what you wrote here to his face. " Karo Parisyan, who’s basically nothing even when he is fighting" ARE YOU KIDDING ME! The guy is a perennial top 10 ww and hes nothing! Why don’t you fight him then say hes nothing when he fights.
I don’t know if you train, I dont know if you ever stepped foot in a gym in your life so you dont have a clue what it takes to fight as an amateur nevertheless to defeat world class competition! I know what Karo goes through because I compete in this sport we all love which makes me have the utmost respect for all fighters. You have no clue the blood,sweat, and tears it takes because you dont have the courage to step in there. Its real easy to criticize someone from behind your computer screen but its very hard to back it up.
I truly want to fight you now! I will travel to any gym that is local to you and we can step in the ring like men and fight! We will videotape it and post it here on be for everyone to watch! I don’t know where you live, but I will buy a plane ticket tommorow honest to god. I’m 5"9 170 lbs and I dont care how much bigger or smaller you are because it dosent matter in the least. Do you have the balls? Will you accept the challenge and show that your atleast half of a man? I will come to your home turf and batter you with 16 oz gloves or 6 oz’s it does not matter! Im sure everyone here at be would love to see it, and I am dead serious I will buy a ticket from jet blue tommrow just let me know where and when! So I’ll ask you one more time DO YOU HAVE THE GUTS?
um...yeaaaaah.
We don’t do the internet toughguy thing here. And we don’t challenge the editors to fights. So…banned. Later!
Contributing Editor - BloodyElbow.com - SBNation's mixed martial arts headquarters.
by Brent Brookhouse on Mar 22, 2009 7:04 AM EDT up reply actions
Oh!
And now that I look at your profile, this isn’t the first time…so ABSOLUTELY banned
Contributing Editor - BloodyElbow.com - SBNation's mixed martial arts headquarters.
by Brent Brookhouse on Mar 22, 2009 7:05 AM EDT up reply actions
ALSO!
Now that you’re banned…it means that you’re no longer a member of the BE Community so me calling you names isn’t attacking a member of the site…although judging by your comment it could be considered “fighter bashing” now there are 3 ways I wanted to go with this…so I’ll give you all 3.
1) It’s fascinating how brand loyal this guy is. “When I’m playing internet toughguy there is only one airline I trust to make sure people know I’m serious about flying out to kick their ass. Jet Blue’s name strikes fear into the internet community, when you hear the Jet Blue name…you know I’m coming.”
2) “Okay, so I just looked it up and Jet Blue doesn’t fly to the nearest airport. So I’m going to catch a connecting flight in Atlanta. Also, I’m pretty clearly not 25 years old…so renting a car isn’t an option. So if you don’t mind I’ll need you to pick me up from terminal 3. My mom wouldn’t give me money for a hotel room, so if you have a guest room I’ll need to crash. BUT, in the morning..after breakfast…I’m going to kick your fucking ass!”
3) You need a nap.
Contributing Editor - BloodyElbow.com - SBNation's mixed martial arts headquarters.
by Brent Brookhouse on Mar 22, 2009 7:23 AM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
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