Chuck Norris Doesn’t Have Birthdays... Birthdays Have Chuck Norris.
by mmafiend on Mar 10, 2009 3:42 PM EDT
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Chuck Norris, aka The Beardfather turned 69 today. In his honor, here are a whole butt-load of Chuck Norris-isms:
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
MacGyver can build an airplane out of gum and paper clips, but Chuck Norris can kill him and take it.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, “Two seconds till.” After you ask, “Two seconds to what?” he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother’s womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
THEMMAFiend - Chuck Norris Doesn’t Have Birthdays… Birthdays Have Chuck Norris.
I'd post the entire thing, but it has a TON of Norris-isms. Feel free to check them out and post which ones are the best.
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Chuck Norris' watch doesn't have any numbers...it just says "Time to Kick Ass"!
If you're not submitting, you're just rolling around with another guy.
If you're not submitting, you're just rolling around with another guy.
by BJJDenver on Mar 10, 2009 3:52 PM EDT up reply actions 4 recs
If you're not submitting, you're just rolling around with another guy.
by BJJDenver on Mar 10, 2009 4:02 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Additionally,
we are here celebrating Chuck’s lifetime of awesomeness, so reflecting back on an accomplishment such as, being more popular than boobs, would be more than appropriate.
If you're not submitting, you're just rolling around with another guy.
69 is the new 40
Never in the history of history has there been someone who has looked better for their age than does Chuck Norris at 69.
Although, Tina Turner, who is also 69, is really close. And in her defense, while Chuck Norris was doling out the beatings, she was catching them from Ike.
"BJ on the BE" - Kierkegaard
My birthdays never had Chuck Norris =(
A man should never waste an opportunity to keep his mouth shut.
by iiowyn on Mar 10, 2009 5:12 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
And my grandfather’s name for Chuck Norris: “Slickem Kickem”, he only ever watched him on Walker, Texas Ranger.
A man should never waste an opportunity to keep his mouth shut.
I was never a fan,
but I really did appreciate the tone and message of the show. It just was never quite entertaining enough for me to get hooked, but it beat the crap out of most of the other TV programming available at the time.
There is no such thing as innocence, only degrees of guilt.
hahaha, that’s what I get my grandfather every xmas as a gift. Another xmas, another season of Walker Texas Ranger.
by midwestbred on Mar 10, 2009 10:26 PM EDT up reply actions
BREAKING NEWS!
Chuck Norris could possibly Fight Anderson Silva for the MW title!
-MMASuPreMaCy
:D
by Anton Tabuena on Mar 10, 2009 9:45 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
Nice
Also, Chuck has apparently called for a rebellion against the US government and plans on running for ‘president of Texas.’
No, I am not joking.
by Derek Suboticki on Mar 10, 2009 10:20 PM EDT up reply actions
Awesome!
Rec’d
I love me some Chuck Norris jokes facts!
Chuck Norris farted once. This is known as the Big Bang Theory.
Mike Goldberg: "You know Joe, When Matt and his brother Mark Hughes were growing up, they would pound each other behind the barn."
by xFenixKnightx on Mar 11, 2009 9:10 AM EDT reply actions 1 recs
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