Report: War Machine Arrested in Las Vegas UPDATED

by Discman2 on Feb 9, 2009 5:17 PM EST

Promoted to the front page from the FanPosts by Luke Thomas. While it is easy to mock WM, the truth is he is clearly a very troubled individual and needs psychiatric evaluation and assistance.

Five Ounces of Pain has the scoop on the latest War Machine screw up:

A source speaking on the condition of anonymity informed FiveOuncesOfPain.com early Monday morning that Koppenhaver had been arrested by Las Vegas Metro Police over the weekend.

Jay Rivera, a representative with the Public Information Office of the Metro Police Department, confirmed that Jonathan Paul Koppenhaver was arrested Saturday, February 8 at approximately 4 a.m. local time. According to Rivera, a citizen’s arrest was made of Koppenhaver on charges of misdemeanor battery.

Quite a character this guy is. It's only a matter of time until this guy is on some VH1 reality show. You can bank on that.

Update

TMZ is reporting that War Machine was arrested after getting into a fight at a gay night club. Krave, the night club where Mr. Machine got arrested, is described as a gay club, but very straight friendly.

Cops tell TMZ security at Krave was escorting War Machine out of the club after a little brouhaha -- when he allegedly turned on security and starting punching them

via www.blogcdn.com

The FanPosts are solely the subjective opinions of Bloody Elbow readers and do not necessarily reflect the views of Bloody Elbow editors or staff.

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Comments

A citizen took down Peace Device?

For all that alpha male shit, a citizen’s arrest is pretty fucking embarrassing. Well done, Embargo Tool.

by Derek Suboticki on Feb 9, 2009 5:20 PM EST reply actions

I came here to post that, only I as going to call him Fail Machine. I can’t wait for his next Facebook post about how “IN DA PHILLAPEEENS I WOULDA JUST KILLED THAT GUY YO.”

"I'm AJB and I endorse this nut-puncher."

by AJB on Feb 9, 2009 5:26 PM EST up reply actions

It was probably the club security, and therefore somebody much bigger and more used to dealing with drunken idiots. No shame in that.

Besides, everything else about him is shameful enough.

Don't believe a word I say, I don't train BJJ. -- TangleBones

by jemaleddin on Feb 10, 2009 10:54 AM EST up reply actions

I don’t know “professional fighter taken down by gay bar bouncer” is still pretty darn embarrassing, particularly for an Alpha Male.

by who me on Feb 10, 2009 1:38 PM EST up reply actions

How about for an "Alpha Fail"?

by Razreshat on Feb 10, 2009 1:59 PM EST up reply actions

Are the bouncers at gay bars somehow weaker than the bouncers at straight bars in your experience?

Don't believe a word I say, I don't train BJJ. -- TangleBones

by jemaleddin on Feb 10, 2009 3:53 PM EST up reply actions

I have no bar fight experience at all, gay or straight but then I haven’t been in any bars for over a decade. I also don’t consider myself a “Alpha Male” or a real Man’s Man like Mr Machine does either.

It doesn’t matter if they are stronger or weaker the point is that “The Alpha Male War Machine was taken down by gay bar bouncers”, how can that not be embarrasing to a guy who thinks like he does?

by who me on Feb 10, 2009 4:09 PM EST up reply actions

Straight criminal dawg

by smoogy on Feb 9, 2009 5:24 PM EST reply actions

Yes

It is easy to make fun of the guy.

by Discman2 on Feb 9, 2009 5:24 PM EST reply actions

Jockeying for the position vacated by Tom Beard, I see.

"BJ on the BE" - Kierkegaard

by Brett Jones on Feb 9, 2009 5:25 PM EST reply actions

Was he beating his knocked up girlfreind? Beard is on a level playing field with WM, but WM is a trained fighter and could do more damage. He should be held to a higher standard. But a citizen’s arrest is puzzleing. Not meny people would step in a normal fight. could have been him hitting a woman.

by szucconi on Feb 9, 2009 5:31 PM EST up reply actions

Thought he changed his leagal name to War Machine?

by szucconi on Feb 9, 2009 5:25 PM EST reply actions

Jay Rivera, a representative with the Public Information Office of the Metro Police Department, confirmed that Jonathan Paul Koppenhaver was arrested Saturday, February 8 at approximately 4 a.m. local time.

Seems like a case of mistaken identity to me. How can they arrest War Machine for something this Jonathan Paul Koppenhaver did?

by Day Man on Feb 9, 2009 6:27 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs

this story could be really good. From those scant few facts it sounds like he got his ass kicked to me.

Cant wait for the mug shots

by Headkick on Feb 9, 2009 5:27 PM EST reply actions

That must be what's he's referring to when he says he had a horrible night....

Subject: Trippy shit….
Body: Last night an hour or so into going out I attempted to take a picture with a friend. The person that was taking it kept saying, “Do another one it’s blurry” this happened 4 times. Finally I was like “wtf, lemme see” Each picture was the same. The ENTIRE photo was crystal clear except my face was completely blurred. I mean you could see my neck, my shoulders, the background and he was perfect but yet in EVERY pic my face was totally blurred. It was like some shit out of a horror movie…it gave me a really eerie feeling….I thought I might die that night or something. I should have followed my gut and went home, but I didn’t. So anyway long story short I had a fucking HORRIBLE night. Really, it was beyond horrible. I’m not going to get into details but looking back on the entire night it makes the whole photo thing seem that much weirder. I dunno what it could have been….I almost think it was a ghost, most likely my father, that was sending me a sign. Sounds funny but I’m serious.
What else could explain all four of those pics?

WM

MySpace bulletin (Pretty sure you have to be on his friends list)

by EnsignFrog on Feb 9, 2009 5:39 PM EST reply actions

Are you serious? If this is for real… I just don’t know. Now he’s getting his ass kicked by ghosts.

Can the dead perform a citizen’s arrest?

The whole thing would be funny if WM wasn’t slowly circling the drain and taking others along for the ride. I’ve started to feel sorry for the warped little guy.

"I'm AJB and I endorse this nut-puncher."

by AJB on Feb 9, 2009 5:45 PM EST up reply actions

When he decides that it’s him that has the problem, and not the rest of society, then he’ll garner my sympathy. You can’t coddle someone that’s coddling their mental illnesses/addictions – until they want to get better, they won’t. Period.

by Derek Suboticki on Feb 9, 2009 5:47 PM EST up reply actions

Exactly. All of his comments seem to always blame someone else for things he has control over. He is either going to grow up and realize he is the one making his own life miserable or he is going to end up in jail for a very long time. He needs help big time beofre it’s too late.

by Bigperm on Feb 9, 2009 5:49 PM EST up reply actions

I don’t disagree at all. But it’s still rather disturbing to see a human being self destruct so badly, and so oblivious to their own condition.

"I'm AJB and I endorse this nut-puncher."

by AJB on Feb 9, 2009 5:54 PM EST up reply actions

People often mistake sympathy for coddling, but tough love is about both responsibility and sympathy. I’m with you.

Don't believe a word I say, I don't train BJJ. -- TangleBones

by jemaleddin on Feb 10, 2009 10:57 AM EST up reply actions

Did you just admit to being on his friends list?

by Day Man on Feb 9, 2009 6:29 PM EST up reply actions

I said in another post that he would be dead or in jail within the next 5 years. He’s on the fast track to dead.

by Bigperm on Feb 9, 2009 5:43 PM EST reply actions

two words: crystal meth

plus, this is probably just obama setting him up. he’s a victim.

by Headkick on Feb 9, 2009 5:50 PM EST reply actions

Obama gives new meaning to the term “Big Brother.”

Quit holding the white man down! Too long have we struggled! Additional rhetoric!

"BJ on the BE" - Kierkegaard

by Brett Jones on Feb 9, 2009 7:42 PM EST up reply actions

Some would say he is bad for the sport, but he is the savior of boring days in mma.

by spectaa on Feb 9, 2009 5:51 PM EST reply actions

Jonathan Paul Koppenhaver… if he changed his name legally shouldn’t it be War Machine?

by "Mr. NC-17" on Feb 9, 2009 5:52 PM EST reply actions

That’s why I put “Report” in the front of the post.

by Luke Thomas on Feb 9, 2009 5:53 PM EST up reply actions

I think they just want to piss him off and call him koppenhaver.

by spectaa on Feb 9, 2009 5:54 PM EST reply actions

or they think it’s ridiculous to call the guy War Machine

by Discman2 on Feb 9, 2009 6:00 PM EST up reply actions

Picture his meeting with the Public Defender:

“Okay, Mr… Machine? Is that right? Your last name is Machine?”

“Yeah, bro, War Machine. Cause I go to war like a machine.”

“That’s your real name?”

“Well, my name used to be Jon Koppenhaver, but some wrestling dick had War Machine as a nickname, so I changed my LEGAL name, see?”

“…That doesn’t make any sense.”

“RAAARGH!”

“Fine. Mr. Machine… Can I call you War?”

"I'm AJB and I endorse this nut-puncher."

by AJB on Feb 9, 2009 6:10 PM EST up reply actions

Who's this Jonathan Paul Koppenhaver guy?

I thought he had officially changed his name.

Although detractors decry (MMA) as a brutal, bloody form of human cockfighting, aficionados know it is a brutal, bloody, totally fucking awesome form of human cockfighting. -The Onion

by The Kittitas Kid on Feb 9, 2009 6:29 PM EST reply actions

How can you possibly get a fair trial when your legal name implies you are an agent of death?
How will the prosecuting attorney and judge keep a straight face?

Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. -Samuel Beckett

by Scott C. Broussard on Feb 9, 2009 6:29 PM EST reply actions

If those parents who named their kids “Hitler” and “Aryan Nation” could say with a straight face that they aren’t racists and just thought the names were “cool” – and people believed them – it’s entirely possible. Sadly.

"I'm AJB and I endorse this nut-puncher."

by AJB on Feb 9, 2009 6:42 PM EST up reply actions

I literally laughed out loud upon reading the “agent of death” comment.

I agree the system is biased against those whose names closely associate with the crimes they’ve committed. i.e. Tom Therapist guilty of tax evasion.

by dwv114 on Feb 10, 2009 12:00 PM EST up reply actions

VH1 wouldn't care

Fuck a Polaroid, fuck a dead dad, fuck a ghost that just got me arrested …

"It's like a flying knuckle sandwich." --Rogan
"And many men have eaten it." -- Goldy

by thetakeover on Feb 9, 2009 7:06 PM EST reply actions

War Machine Speaks! Satire

Its a doozie:

FCUK! i Was like going to the bar on the street were tihngs happen like man to man phlipines fukin style man an this guy is like loukin at me and he sez “are u ok man? ur nose si bleding” then i said no you don fukc wiht the war masheen and I hit him in teh head with a trach can that I carry with me ALL teh time., So then he gets awl freeked out and sez like WTF man? tehn I go and kik the shit out of him cuase I"m the alfa male an I can be stopped by randumb peeple on the STREET I AM GOD! Anywas I’m tyred cus I been kikin tis guys hed in when I gets tacked frum behind. It was teh guy i tought i his ass ass kiked! Truns out that i had kiked the shit out of a mailbox cause THE RED RAGE OF COMBAT decended awn me and i couldnt tell thet i was kiking the siht out of a mailbox. Yeh so im in jale now about to show all of teh PUSSIES in hear who the reel alfa mail is! FUCK!!!!!!!!!

by Ubernoober on Feb 9, 2009 7:28 PM EST reply actions

God this guy is a turd, he may physically be an “alpha male” but he has the brain of a cocker spaniel.

by Buddha Brown on Feb 9, 2009 7:50 PM EST reply actions

If he's an alpha male, then is Tommy Speer a super-alpha?

by Derek Suboticki on Feb 9, 2009 7:55 PM EST up reply actions

War Machine just invented the OMEGA MAN. The best at being the worst.

by spectaa on Feb 9, 2009 11:58 PM EST up reply actions

TMZ is reporting it was a GAY night club.. lol

by steveoc24 on Feb 10, 2009 1:00 AM EST reply actions

Da ist keine Stelle, die dich nicht sieht.

by Eugene Schelfaut on Feb 10, 2009 1:09 AM EST up reply actions

He may be troubled, but he has nice teeth. He has that going for him.

Da ist keine Stelle, die dich nicht sieht.

by Eugene Schelfaut on Feb 10, 2009 1:10 AM EST up reply actions

Nope.

He’ll be in prison, and he’s a pretty man…

Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. -Samuel Beckett

by Scott C. Broussard on Feb 10, 2009 2:44 AM EST up reply actions

He’s suffering from a slight case of James Thompson ear.

"I see him beating Anderson Silva. I see him picking him apart. Him at a 131 years old...(trails off)." - Tito on Belfort at Affliction:DOR

by Rundownloser on Feb 10, 2009 1:28 AM EST up reply actions

Just more for

his cellmate to hold on to.

by Razreshat on Feb 10, 2009 9:12 AM EST up reply actions

The “very straight friendly” part makes me chuckle every time.

Da ist keine Stelle, die dich nicht sieht.

by Eugene Schelfaut on Feb 10, 2009 1:27 AM EST reply actions

Right Now at that Club, one promoter is yelling at the other....

" You See!!! Thats why we don’t let them in here"

by nitro on Feb 10, 2009 3:14 AM EST up reply actions

Diplomacy Adjudicator

Personally I blame the security guys that let him in in the first place. If a guy walks up to the door, with a james thompson ear, a choch hair cut, and an ID that says War Machine, Fart Bike, Douche Boat, Butt Pneumatics, or Koppenhaver comma Jon," why are you letting him into your club? If it were me, I’d be looking at what are the chances this guy doesn’t start a fight?

by dwv114 on Feb 10, 2009 12:08 PM EST reply actions