WHO CARES ABOUT VASELINE WHEN THERE'S MAPLE SYRUP TO BE CHUGGED?

"I was going to make GSP my last fight." - UFC lightweight champion B.J. Penn, who now has to fight GSP for Vaseline sponsorship dollars. (Fighters Only)

"First of all what happened is Phil, he put Vaseline in my face, but then after he didn’t have the Vaseline. After he put Vaseline in my face, he didn’t put Vaseline in my back. That’s what people don’t understand. He put one hand on my chest and he made a circle behind my back." - UFC welterweight champion Georges St. Pierre (Sherdog)

"Had they said, 'You're putting Vaseline on his back' it would have put two and two together." - GSP trainer and MMA pariah Phil Nurse describing the scene in between rounds. (Sports Illustrated)

"It helps my breathing." - St. Pierre, who then continued, "and wid de grappling."

"Simply put, by lubricating GSP's body, a highly slippery surface was created that completely neutralized an innocent participant's abilities and strategy to the advantage of GSP. More importantly, by neutralizing Mr. Penn's Brazilian jiu-jitsu abilities through the use of illegal and improper means, Mr. Penn was subjected to a life-threatening and career-ending environment; an environment that the Commission was armed to protect against." - Penn's lawyer Raffi Nahabedian, in his formal request to the NSAC to investigate the incident. (NBC Sports)

"I don’t know if they were doing it intentionally or not. Either way, they shouldn’t have done it." - NSAC Executive Director Keith Kizer.

"I hereby accept George St. Pierre and Greg Jackson’s challenge for a fight in the summer 2009. Lets call Dana now and set it up." - Penn, who wants me to kill myself via syrup intoxication. (BJPenn.com)

OH I CAN SHIT TALK GSP?  COUNT ME IN!

"Now, on to what everybody is talking about, the greasing. I’m not the only one who has said that GSP felt greasy during a fight." - Former UFC welterweight champion Matt Hughes, taking a break from his country breakfast. (Matt-Hughes.com)

"I know Matt Serra has mentioned it and, even in their first fight, I think BJ said something." - Hughes, always nice when enemies can find common ground.

"I’m not saying GSP did something wrong and I’m not saying that it would have changed any outcomes of any fights; but what I am saying is, for my last two fights against Georges, he felt greasy." - Hughes, greasy like this country bacon.

GRECO-ROMAN AIRWAYS WELCOMES YOU TO FLIGHT 94

"The clinch is huge in mixed martial arts." - Jon Jones, who might know a thing or two about the clinch. (TheGarv.com)

"And there’s definite rules and definite no-nos when you’re clinching with someone when it comes to Greco. And [opponents] so far have done everything wrong from the clinch, besides striking." - Jones, what did you think of Stephan Bonnar's knowledge of these rules?

"Yeah, Bonnar was doing all the Greco-Roman no-nos." - Jones, oh, that's what I thought.

"It’s just like, I know at least 20 different ways of throwing people." - Jones, has me excited to see the other 15.

"You have the Bas Rutten’s and the Anderson Silva DVD’s, but you can find most of that stuff on the internet for free, so that’s what I was doing." - Jones, who taught himself how to strike via the internet. (Sports Illustrated)

MAYBE THESE GUYS SHOULD FI...OH WAIT

"I don’t think it was a calculated or manipulative move. I think it was just him being an asshole." - Joe Lauzon, on Hermes Franca clowning on his brother Dan's performance at Affliction: Day of Reckoning. Lauzon will now fight Jeremy Stephens after Franca pulled out of their fight with an injury. (MMAJunkie.com)

"I told Joe, ‘Easy buddy. I’m messing with you. I don’t have any enemies. My business is in the cage.'" - Franca's response

"I don’t like talking trash." - Franca, which is weird because this is the second fight in a row you're doing it.

"I like Joe; I like the kid, and I like his style, but I'm pissed, and I can't wait to fight him." - Franca

"Now I want to fight him because he's acting like a punk." - Lauzon

THE WEEK IN BUSINESS OF MMA

"This is a tremendous development that will bolster the Strikeforce roster and allow us to produce even more competitive matchups between top fighters." - Strikeforce promoter Scott Coker, on his company's decision to purchase certain assets from Pro Elite rumored to include most of the top fighters, tape libraries, and CBS and Showtime deals. (Bloody Elbow)

"We did 50% better than our last event." - Affliction head Tom Atencio, who shouldn't be trusted. (MMA Weekly)

"ProElite as a company will focus on those assets that are making money, which is principally King of the Cage." - Pro Elite CEO Chuck Champion, keeping the zombie alive. (Sports Illustrated)

WHITE NOISE

"Anything can happen to his cornerman - everything from a fine to never being able to work in the corner again." - UFC President Dana White, weighing in on "Greasegate." (WAAF - Boston)

"I like him...and any of you that know the Japanese culture, they're like that, that's the way they are over there." - White, talking about Akihiro Gono's UFC 94 entrance. Culturally sensitive as always. (Bloody Elbow)

"I would say Georges St. Pierre would be neck and neck with Anderson had he not lost to Matt Serra." - White (Sports Illustrated)

"They work with (M-1 USA vice president) Jerry Millen. Does that say enough for you? That sums it up right there." - White, describing his problem's with Fedor's management team. Oh, and it's "Gary."(CBS Sports)

PARTING SHOTS

"I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. 'Crazy' Bob Cook had to get my attention because I couldn’t focus (between rounds), it was so nuts." - Jon Fitch, talking about Gono being cornered by grown men in dresses.  Just wait 'til he checks out Mach Sakurai's video. (MMAMania.com)

"That’s really a lot more like pro wrestling. Because then they tell the story that they want to tell." - HBO Boxing commentator Jim Lampley, critical of the UFC's use of an in-house broadcast team. (Toro Magazine)

"Do I think he’s going to retire at 35? No, I don’t." - Anderson Silva's manager Ed Soares, revealing the money play. (MMA Fanhouse)

"I’m going to have fun with it." - Rashad Evans, looking forward to a fight with Lyoto Machida. (Cage Writer)