UFC 200: Gimungasuperzoidz!
by Martial Farts on Feb 23, 2009 8:32 AM EST
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via martialfarts.fightlinker.com
It's simple mathematics. Or rather, simple English.
Or maybe even simple mathematics applied to English and multiplied by... oh forget it.
What I mean is, the UFC is going to start running out of cool words to subtitle their events with. Now I think somewhere in the internets I have covered this before but to put it simply, it never gets boring.
So Dana White, if you are reading this (and you probably are), here are some tips for you, a completely random list of words you can use to make your event sound cooler and more powerful than a ninja porking a hot babe, no wait, two hot babes whilst gutting a fish and throwing a radioactive guitar at a robotic dinosaur eating a monster truck.
- UFC 143: Stab Wounds
- UFC 155: FUCK
- UFC 118: Megatron Fuckpump
- UFC 110: Reverse Gutpunch
- UFC 159: Hardcore Chimp Sex
- UFC 220: Killer Razmatazz
- UFC 195: Teethmelter
- UFC 457: Detonation Fist
- UFC 329: The Crushinator
- UFC 198: Termination
- UFC 199: Re-termination
- UFC 250: Sodom and Gomorrah
- UFC 157: Tribal Warfare
- UFC 166: Destructazoid
- UFC 201: Event Horizon
- UFC 202: Black Hole (of Death)
- UFC 205: Blast Radius
- UFC 657: Hammertime
- UFC 431: Powerslam Hyperdunk
- UFC 445: Warriorz' Rage
- UFC 667: Killdrone
- UFC 527: Penetration
- UFC 363: Third Degree Burns
- UFC 561: Mangled Windpipe
- UFC 562: Dislocated Spine
- UFC 563: Busted Placenta
- UFC 722: Death Cops
- UFC 723: Skull Rage
- UFC 724: Death Rage
- UFC 725: Skull Cops of Rage and Death
- UFC 800: Regurgitated Bloodfist
Phew! That was a whole lot of super-concentrated awesomeness there.
And now, a challenge...
UFC 1000: YOUR SUBTITLE HERE!
Only the most eye-popping, pancreas-melting, kneecap-crushing suggestions will be considered!
The FanPosts are solely the subjective opinions of Bloody Elbow readers and do not necessarily reflect the views of Bloody Elbow editors or staff.
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UFC 1000: Cagey Cockfighters
"They called him the axe-murderer because he was murdering chumps. They should have been calling him the chump-murderer..." Rampage Jackson (commentating on the fighting abilities of Wanderlei "F#ck Chuck" Silva.)
by BlueberryMuffin on Feb 23, 2009 8:59 AM EST reply actions
UFC 1000 : Wanderlei vs Rampage 243 “BrainDead”
"They called him the axe-murderer because he was murdering chumps. They should have been calling him the chump-murderer..." Rampage Jackson (commentating on the fighting abilities of Wanderlei "F#ck Chuck" Silva.)
by BlueberryMuffin on Feb 23, 2009 9:02 AM EST reply actions
Others I Like
UFC 222: Knock’in The Shit Out Of Ya
UFC 420: Light It Up
UFC 666: Skalla Strikes Back
-1
For zero headbutts.
"I see him beating Anderson Silva. I see him picking him apart. Him at a 131 years old...(trails off)." - Tito on Belfort at Affliction:DOR
UFC 1000: Headbutt
Also, the UFC 159: Hardcore Chimp Sex was easily your best effort.
Bolts from the Blue // "Game over." - Jamal Williams
Bloody Elbow // "Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats." - H.L. Mencken
You are trying too hard. Please take this crap back to fightlinker. It is the complete opposite of funny.
by smoogy on Feb 23, 2009 2:15 PM EST reply actions 3 recs
Don’t like it? Don’t read it.
by Derek Suboticki on Feb 23, 2009 3:06 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
UFC 1000: Smoogy’s still bitching
by Michaelthebox on Feb 23, 2009 3:11 PM EST up reply actions 6 recs
UFC 1000: REAL LIVE MURDER
Brad Ziegler had a scoreless inning streak. Brad Ziegler had not met BJ Upton.
UFC 1000: Human Survivors vs. Meta-Creatures
by Derek Suboticki on Feb 23, 2009 3:07 PM EST reply actions
UFC 1000: Hell yeah, made it to MSG, we’re skipping straight to the new millennia of UFC!
A man should never waste an opportunity to keep his mouth shut.
Assuming 16 numbered UFC’s a year, UFC 1000 will be in the fall of 2065.
A man should never waste an opportunity to keep his mouth shut.
Man. I’ll be eighty if I’m lucky enough to make it.
by Derek Suboticki on Feb 23, 2009 4:06 PM EST up reply actions
83 here…but I don’t plan on ever dying. Seems like a crappy thing to do, so I am not gonna do it.
A man should never waste an opportunity to keep his mouth shut.
I look forward to being reborn in the future to see how far we’ve come (not that I believe in reincarnation – as an atheist, I claim ignorance to what happens after the worms get ya).
by Derek Suboticki on Feb 23, 2009 4:15 PM EST up reply actions
that will be around the same time affliction 3 is held..
http://weoweoweo.deviantart.com/
by Anton Tabuena on Feb 23, 2009 8:23 PM EST up reply actions
i like it
Be water, my friend.
http://martialfarts.fightlinker.com
by Martial Farts on Feb 24, 2009 8:57 AM EST up reply actions
UFC 1000's
UFC 1000: GSP Jr vs Robo GSP
UFC 1000: Couture Reanimated
UFC 1000: Purple Monkey Dishwasher
UFC 1000: Bloodyelbow Inaugural Credentials
UFC 1000: Pumpernickel vs Watts (who you say?)
UFC 1000: Electro-Cage Explosion Revised
UFC 1000: Reverse Aging Dana vs The Ghost of Vadim Finkelstein
UFC 1000: Headbutt Action Commence (but only vs animal challengers)
UFC 1000: Total Recall (finally sanctioned on Mars, ring girls have three babylons)
UFC 1000: Ultimate Japan Annual #56/They’re Not Kid’s Anymore (wheelchair match between Kid Yamamoto and Urijah “California Kid” Faber)
"I hit [Evensen], and you could just see it in his head. He went, 'Oh, man. We don't have to do this anymore. I'm good. Thanks for having me. I'm going to go home now." -Pat "The Real Techno Viking" Berry
It’s gotta be ‘Mecha GSP’ – like Godzilla.
UFC 1000: ..l.. (-_-) ..l..
by Derek Suboticki on Feb 23, 2009 11:03 PM EST up reply actions
UFC 1000: Headbutt Action Commence (but only vs animal challengers)
this is nice
Be water, my friend.
http://martialfarts.fightlinker.com
by Martial Farts on Feb 24, 2009 8:57 AM EST up reply actions
UFC 1000: Pig Missile
UFC 1000: The Battle for Mars
UFC 1000: Lesnar vs. Voltron
UFC 1000: Anderson “The Spider” Silva vs. Xenu “the Galactic” Ruler with Xenu cutting down from Battle Cruiser class to fight at 185. Xenu wins this fight, but the decision is overturned when the NSAC finds that Tom Cruise illegally supplied Xenu with Xientology before the fight.
i like pig missile
Be water, my friend.
http://martialfarts.fightlinker.com
by Martial Farts on Feb 24, 2009 8:58 AM EST up reply actions
I don’t know why, but pig missile ended me.
"I see him beating Anderson Silva. I see him picking him apart. Him at a 131 years old...(trails off)." - Tito on Belfort at Affliction:DOR
by Rundownloser on Feb 24, 2009 11:04 AM EST up reply actions
This is far and away the worst fanpost in the history of bloody elbow. This thread reiterates the fact that while the added volume of traffic is good for Luke’s pockets, the growing presence of these sherdog washouts just compromises the integrity of this site as a whole and deters new visitors who are actually looking for intelligent debate and analysis with other knowledgeable fans. To the thread starter specifically: I honestly hope a plane lands on your face!
This is far and away the worstfanpostcomment in the history of bloody elbow.
Fixed it for you and I agree, your comment is pretty terrible.
"I see him beating Anderson Silva. I see him picking him apart. Him at a 131 years old...(trails off)." - Tito on Belfort at Affliction:DOR
by Rundownloser on Feb 24, 2009 1:01 PM EST up reply actions
He would headbutt it
Who the hell are you though?
"I hit [Evensen], and you could just see it in his head. He went, 'Oh, man. We don't have to do this anymore. I'm good. Thanks for having me. I'm going to go home now." -Pat "The Real Techno Viking" Berry
For the record, I’ve never been to Sherdog, and know nothing about him/it besides the fact that it’s another source for MMA coverage. If you can’t handle humor along with your fighting, go find a website that bans it. Fascist.
This is like a horror movie where someone says "Whatever you do, DON'T go in THERE"
He’s going to Sherdog now, d00d.
"I hit [Evensen], and you could just see it in his head. He went, 'Oh, man. We don't have to do this anymore. I'm good. Thanks for having me. I'm going to go home now." -Pat "The Real Techno Viking" Berry
Yelling at the characters on the screen never makes them listen =(
A man should never waste an opportunity to keep his mouth shut.
thanks
For taking care of that so I didn’t have to. Yugh.
For the record, I spent a total of about a minute inside Sherdog’s forums, just enough to convince me it was a scary, twisted place that smelt of teenage ballsacks.
Be water, my friend.
http://martialfarts.fightlinker.com
by Martial Farts on Feb 25, 2009 8:14 AM EST up reply actions
Teenage ballsacks?
So how many teenage ballsacks do you have to smell to recognize the scent?
I couldn’t let that pass.. You left it out there.
"I hit [Evensen], and you could just see it in his head. He went, 'Oh, man. We don't have to do this anymore. I'm good. Thanks for having me. I'm going to go home now." -Pat "The Real Techno Viking" Berry
UFC 1000: Kill Lesnar's Clone!
Before he kills you!
While I don't think this is the funniest thing in the world..
..it’s a little harmless fun and I don’t see why people are getting all bent up about it. Nothing Sherdogian about this thread.
Picz or ur a fatty, by the way.
"I hit [Evensen], and you could just see it in his head. He went, 'Oh, man. We don't have to do this anymore. I'm good. Thanks for having me. I'm going to go home now." -Pat "The Real Techno Viking" Berry
UFC: 1000 Extreme Cannibalism
AWmusic - mp3 blog on independent music..
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