Why I Will Be Liveblogging Ken Shamrock's WARGODS: Valentine's Eve Massacre
by Brent Brookhouse on Feb 12, 2009 3:42 PM EST
in MMA News
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There is a phenomenon in our sport that I like to call "Car Crash MMA." These are shows where the result is guaranteed to be so bad that they become "must see" events. YAMMA Pit Fighting is a perfect example of this kind of event and lord knows I was here liveblogging that train wreck.
Tomorrow night Sherdog is providing a stream of the Ken Shamrock promoted WARGODS: Valentine's Eve Massacre and I fully plan on being here live on BloodyElbow to provide live thoughts and commentary on the event. And before you ask me "Good god Brent, why would you want to not only WATCH this event but write about it too?!" let me provide you with these 5 fun facts that prove exactly what a perfect Car Crash MMA event this really is. Note: these facts only apply to the top 6 fights on the card as listed on Sherdog:
1) The co-main events of Ken Shamrock vs. Ross Clifton and David "Tank" Abbott vs. Mike Bourke feature men with a combined record of 3-16-1 in their last 5 fights. Of those three wins only one has come since 2005 (Clifton's win over Angel Banuelos in September of 2007). That is 17 months since one of these four men has put a "W" on their ledger.
2) The combined record of the 12 "top of the card" fighters is 129-110-4 (win percentage: 53%). The best record of the card belongs to "Cabbage" Correira's opponent Buddy Roberts at 6-1. Roberts resume does not include a fight with a single opponent currently holding a winning record (combined opponent record: 11-23). Roberts' only loss was to Josh Hall. Hall has no other victory as a professional.
3) The 12 fighters have been defeated inside of two minutes a combined 30 times. They have been stopped inside sixty seconds a total of 16 times.
4) Mike Bourke alone has been stopped inside of 40 seconds 4 times. Three of those times were KO's and one was an injury.
5) TUF veteran Josh Haynes faces professional punching bag Rafael Real on the undercard. Real went 0-3 in 2008 fighting a total of 2:39 in those losses.
So I guess what I'm saying is...I'll be here to liveblog a car crash.
The real question is:
Will you join me?
UPDATE: BONUS FUN FACT #6 - Ross Clifton has 6 career wins. The combined record of the men he has beaten? 2-15.
HT: Tidalwave
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Sure!
Hell yeah, I’ll drink some beer and watch the festivities! :)
How dare you compare this to the glorious YAMMA?
Oh, I wore my YAMMA shirt to the gym yesterday, and let me tell you: I had myself a DAY. POWER OF THE PIT BABY YARRRGH!!!!
"BJ on the BE" - Kierkegaard
I'll be here
unless I forget.
To be fair though, if Bloodly Elbow goes bankrupt in 2009, people will look at this as jumping the shark.
AWmusic - mp3 blog on independent music..
I PAID for YAMMA...
so I could live blog it here. A) Liveblogging is my thang and B) I love car crash MMA
Contributing Editor - BloodyElbow.com - SBNation's mixed martial arts headquarters.
by Brent Brookhouse on Feb 12, 2009 3:45 PM EST up reply actions
YAMMA was once in a lifetime. I don’t think we will get to go through something like that. I mean I took a break from watching the fights to fill out a survey to get a free tshirt, my survey included the fact that I wanted to fight the ring announcer for being so awful. Plus the pit that they touted as the end of LnP only futhered the need for LnP because everyone tripped over the ramp. Travis “Room with a” won the thing and don’t get me started on the superfights. crazy. Plus I got a shirt, will you get a shirt from this one? no.
I'm making my own shirt...
so take that!
Contributing Editor - BloodyElbow.com - SBNation's mixed martial arts headquarters.
by Brent Brookhouse on Feb 12, 2009 4:15 PM EST up reply actions
Yeah...
I’m pretty upset about missing it honestly.
Contributing Editor - BloodyElbow.com - SBNation's mixed martial arts headquarters.
by Brent Brookhouse on Feb 12, 2009 4:22 PM EST up reply actions
Brent Brookhouse – Dropping the ball since 2009.
If this event goes off without a hitch or very little weirdness, will that kill blogging for car crash mma?
Nah...
I’ve been talking to Scott from BadLeftHook about the show and he had a great comment on it…
At least one fight is going to end in total confusion.
Even if it doesn’t…the odds are pretty far in favor of that happening.
Contributing Editor - BloodyElbow.com - SBNation's mixed martial arts headquarters.
by Brent Brookhouse on Feb 12, 2009 4:30 PM EST up reply actions
Agreed; I'll be shocked
if Ken and Tank both make it to their fights. This is just too good to be true. If they both fight, and both win, and if there’s a sequel where they fight each other, then the awesomeness will be off the charts
Brent’s Yamma Live Results
June 21 YAMMA Middleweight Championship Tournament , a female superfight and a masters division superfight. Why do I get the feeling that show will never see the air?
=)
This card needs a “future of the division” megafight like Britt vs. Patterson to really put it over the top.
I want to be clear...
that I love local MMA. But part of my reason that I feel so willing to rip on this show is that the cheapest ticket to watch this is $30 and tickets do go up to like $400 or so. If you’re going to charge prices like that you’d better be providing decent compelling fights. There is nothing compelling past “oh god this could be a disaster” about the matchmaking on this show. There is not a single fight that stands out as being “good.”
Contributing Editor - BloodyElbow.com - SBNation's mixed martial arts headquarters.
by Brent Brookhouse on Feb 13, 2009 8:42 AM EST up reply actions
Welcome!
Contributing Editor - BloodyElbow.com - SBNation's mixed martial arts headquarters.
by Brent Brookhouse on Feb 12, 2009 4:30 PM EST up reply actions
This is why Japan books freak shows and Car-Crash MMA – to hook the new guys in! Come for the freak, stay for the fights! I wish I could join you for such a glorious fail, but I’ll be busy.
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. -Samuel Beckett
by Scott C. Broussard on Feb 12, 2009 5:11 PM EST up reply actions
Now if only the promoters of this show had enough foresight to bring someone like Brent onboard to help hype this little gem. I can almost guarantee a larger gate and viewing audience!
Those 5 ‘fun facts’ alone make this a must-see event.
As much as I would love...
to be working for any MMA promotion…I don’t know that Ken Shamrock is self aware enough to bring someone on board to hype the show by saying “You can’t miss it…the headliners haven’t won a fight in 17 months!”
Contributing Editor - BloodyElbow.com - SBNation's mixed martial arts headquarters.
by Brent Brookhouse on Feb 12, 2009 5:48 PM EST up reply actions
Hey Brent
Wasn’t Shamrock supposed to FIGHT Tank, no co-headline with him? This kinda ruins it for me. I was looking forward to the two titans going at it.
On a side note, I think Shamrock should immediately retire on the spot if he losses. If he is still conscious.
by Nick Travaglini on Feb 12, 2009 6:00 PM EST reply actions
http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/with-bells-on.html
Apparently, neither does anyone else…
"I'm AJB and I endorse this nut-puncher."
I understand that this is supposed to be cheeky and that the show probably won’t be all that great, but these are still professional mixed martial artists who deserve our utmost respect for even setting foot inside that cage. I’m really disappointed in all of you.
… haha, just kidding, this is going to suck so bad.
HAHAHAHA!
When I first started to read that I was like “oh shit…Chris is pissed!”
You know the funny thing is that I do legitimately love MMA to the point where I am building an entire Friday night around watching an internet stream of something that I just wrote about being awful. And I totally DO respect the guys for fighting for my entertainment…but man…there is no way you can look at this show and think “well this is going to be fine, high level MMA!”
Contributing Editor - BloodyElbow.com - SBNation's mixed martial arts headquarters.
by Brent Brookhouse on Feb 12, 2009 6:57 PM EST up reply actions
Brent, any background on Grizzly?
He just looks like a really fat 19 yr old kid. But maybe we could make up something awesome….
Well...
Ross “Grizzly” Clifton
Record: 6-8 (2 wins by KO, 3 by submission, 1 unknown – 4 losses by KO, 3 by submission, 1 by decision)
Record in last 5 fights – 1-4 (currently on a 3 fight losing streak)
Fun Facts: Fights with a shirt on and pants with front and rear pockets.
Aside from his second fight (2 round decision) when he loses he goes down quickly. He has one fight that has gotten out of the first round and only 2 fights have lasted over 4 minutes…the majority end in under 2 minutes. So we probably won’t see Shammy gas out and have a heart attack ala the Fujita fight.
Film Study:
Clifton (shirtless for this one) vs. Dave Huckaba – August of 2008 Warning – Contains exposed buttcrack. – What I see here: He goes down to legkicks. Looks like he wanted to go to the ground and be on top. Sloppy standup, bad gastank.
Clifton vs. Amir Rahnavardi – September of 2001 Warning – Contains exposed buttcrack…again. What I see here: He goes down to knees to the leg. His striking in this fight is awful…wide “fat guy in a bar” punches. He does go for a standing kimura Sakuraba style at one point and does actually hurt Amir at one point. So hey…way to go.
Ross takes Stevia to try and lose weight What I learned here – he is a combination of steel and blubber (his own words)
The Grizz hangs out at a farm – What I learned here – Every fight is a 50/50 chance for someone to win. I also learned that I don’t particularly like this gentleman.
Hope that helps!
Contributing Editor - BloodyElbow.com - SBNation's mixed martial arts headquarters.
by Brent Brookhouse on Feb 12, 2009 7:44 PM EST up reply actions
WHOA!
He is also a racist. He says that his friend was knocking out “big ol’ spook motherfuckers. Big ol brothers” So I am officially ready to call him a racist dork and I hope he gasses and gets beat down by Ken’s old ass.
Can’t believe I missed that the first time around
Contributing Editor - BloodyElbow.com - SBNation's mixed martial arts headquarters.
by Brent Brookhouse on Feb 12, 2009 7:45 PM EST up reply actions
HE ALSO
Has 6 wins…Only 2 of those wins were over guys who had EVER won a professional fight. Both of those guys have won a total of ONE fight each.
Contributing Editor - BloodyElbow.com - SBNation's mixed martial arts headquarters.
by Brent Brookhouse on Feb 12, 2009 7:47 PM EST up reply actions
hate hate hate hate hate
But then again, fuck him, he’s a racist.
Is it fighter bashing to say ‘fuck you for being a racist’? Or constructive criticism – fuck you, stop being a racist?
by Derek Suboticki on Feb 12, 2009 10:11 PM EST up reply actions
Hey buddy..
stop being so racist champ!
I personally consider all rules relating to “fighter bashing” to be off as soon as someone is featured on a video using one of the “big” racist phrases. Once they prove themselves to be a racist douchebag…I personally throw the rules out the windows. Can’t speak for the rest of the staff.
Contributing Editor - BloodyElbow.com - SBNation's mixed martial arts headquarters.
by Brent Brookhouse on Feb 12, 2009 10:27 PM EST up reply actions
I think in this case it’s okay.
Bolts from the Blue // "Game over." - Jamal Williams
Bloody Elbow // "Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats." - H.L. Mencken
by Richard Wade on Feb 13, 2009 12:29 AM EST up reply actions
Let it never be said that I don’t pick my spots. Not always wisely, but I pick em.
Fuck you, you fat racist. Let’s up the ante.
by Derek Suboticki on Feb 13, 2009 12:36 AM EST up reply actions
We apparently don’t have a problem with fat comments either (See: Nelson). Go figure.
Bolts from the Blue // "Game over." - Jamal Williams
Bloody Elbow // "Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats." - H.L. Mencken
by Richard Wade on Feb 13, 2009 3:25 PM EST up reply actions
I respect anybody who steps up and fights but hell
What will it take for Shamrock to stop fighting, I think its more painful for me than him when he fights. A legend for sure, but the time to bow out gracefully has long been past.
by despisedIcon856 on Feb 12, 2009 7:17 PM EST reply actions
...Hell yes I am watching this.
Do I get a t-shirt?
Brad Ziegler had a scoreless inning streak. Brad Ziegler had not met BJ Upton.
UPDATED
With fun fact #6
Contributing Editor - BloodyElbow.com - SBNation's mixed martial arts headquarters.
by Brent Brookhouse on Feb 12, 2009 7:50 PM EST reply actions
Don't like Brent
We all know you are just a loser who has nothing better to do on a Friday night. :)
What else am I gonna do?
Hang out with my wife? That’s what Valentine’s Day is for.
….just kidding honey!
Contributing Editor - BloodyElbow.com - SBNation's mixed martial arts headquarters.
by Brent Brookhouse on Feb 12, 2009 8:23 PM EST up reply actions
As far as I can tell...
which is why I’ve yet to say anything about her on the card. My experience. If your opponent is TBD the day before the show…you’re not fighting.
Contributing Editor - BloodyElbow.com - SBNation's mixed martial arts headquarters.
by Brent Brookhouse on Feb 12, 2009 9:54 PM EST up reply actions
they couldn’t find an opponent for the only legit fighter on the card!!!
by George Lucas on Feb 13, 2009 12:01 AM EST up reply actions
Since I can’t think of a better game to play with this card and a way to show my official support..
I am going to make predictions on how long Shamrock and Tanks fights will last, and how they will end.
Shamrock loses via KO 0:49
Tank loses via KO 1:14
Hmmm...
I say:
Shamrock wins by TKO 3:00 round 1 (leg kicks)
Tank wins by KO :32 round 1 (Bourke has been KO’ed 3 times in under 40 seconds…I figure Tank has about 40 seconds worth of punching in him)
Contributing Editor - BloodyElbow.com - SBNation's mixed martial arts headquarters.
by Brent Brookhouse on Feb 12, 2009 10:28 PM EST up reply actions
I already know why it’s called “Valentine’s Eve MASSACRE”…it was doomed before it even started.
by Kaleb Kelchner on Feb 12, 2009 10:32 PM EST reply actions
I will play my game beneath the spin light.
by Eugene Schelfaut on Feb 12, 2009 10:39 PM EST reply actions
I will play my game beneath the spin light.
by Eugene Schelfaut on Feb 12, 2009 10:42 PM EST up reply actions
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