The Week in Quotes: November 29th - December 5th
by Mike Fagan on Dec 6, 2009 8:52 PM EST
in MMA News
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THE PLAQUE FOR THE ALTERNATES IS DOWN IN THE LADIES' ROOM
"I would have booed, too." - Kimbo Slice, on his fight with Houston Alexander at the TUF 10 finale. Alexander's strategy would be best described as a lovechild between Kalib Starnes and Forrest Griffin. (Sherdog)
"I don’t know what Houston Alexander’s corner was doing, but that was the worst game plan they could have ever come up with." - UFC President Dana White. Houston was not following the gameplan. (Yahoo)
"I am not sure if Kalib Starnes was training him or what, but that wasn’t the Houston Alexander I had seen fight before." - White. You mean the Houston Alexander that got insta-mounted by Thiago Silva or the one that James Irvin blasted in eight seconds?
"He took me up on the offer I made, did what he had to do and went out and beat a legitimate UFC fighter." - White, on Kimbo's merit. I don't think "legitimate" means what Dana thinks it does.
"This will probably end up being knockout of the night, but it's going to be me, doing the knocking out." - Alexander, in the buildup to the fight. The only guy knocked out in this fight was Houston, right out of the UFC's good graces.
COMMUNICATING. KEEPING UP FOREIGN RELATIONS. YOU KNOW, GIVING HIM THE BIRD!
"Not because the haters are talking shit about me being scared of Rashad or Titties or anybody else. I'm coming back for my fans and to shut Rashad's mouth up and shut Dana's mouth up." - Former UFC light heavyweight champ Quinton "Rampage" Jackson, announcing his "surprise" return to the UFC. (Rampage-Jackson.com)
"My mom’s on Rampage’s side. She’s cheering for Rampage. She’s always saying, ‘Ruuh-shawd, be nice to Rampage! He’s so funny!’ I’m like, ‘Ma, who cares if he’s funny?’" - Former UFC light heavyweight champ Rashad Evans. (Las Vegas Sun)
"I could see him walk into a room and I start getting ready to throw down. The hair raises on the back of my neck because I know he’s going to say something. I just want to crack him." - Evans
THE DEFENSE DEPARTMENT REGRETS TO INFORM YOU THAT YOUR SONS ARE DEAD BECAUSE THEY WERE STUPID
"Honestly, I really, I just dislike the guy. Oh man. I try not to hold grudges at all, so I’m not going to let it beat me up inside." - Darrill "Titties" Schoonover, on his long-held grudge with Quinton Jackson. (MMA Mania)
"I really don’t care that much, but I would really love to fight him. Like I really, really want to fight this guy." - Schoonover, really, really doesn't care.
"Like I remember me and my little brother when I was going in, my little brother was pretty proud of me. He’s like, 'Yeah bro. That’s cool man. You’re going to get to train with Rashad or ‘Rampage.’ 'He’s like, 'I hope you get ‘Rampage.' You’re going to love him.' And I was just like, 'Yeah man. ‘Rampage’ is pretty cool.' And then all this starts happening and I’m just like, 'I hate ‘Rampage.'" - Schoonover. So Rampage acts like...Rampage, and you get all butthurt about it?
TOP GUN RULES OF ENGAGEMENT ARE WRITTEN FOR YOUR SAFETY AND FOR THAT OF YOUR TEAM. THEY ARE NOT FLEXIBLE, NOR AM I. EITHER OBEY THEM OR YOU ARE HISTORY. IS THAT CLEAR?
"Well, you know, situations like this can only make you better." - Jon "Bones" Jones, disqualified in his match with Matt Hamill after delivering two 12-6 downward elbow strikes. A silver lining was found when fight doctors discovered Jones beat Hamill's hearing back. (UFC.com)
"Everybody has to be harnessed." - Greg Jackson, an interesting prefight comment with a very different meaning postfight. (Sherdog)
"I didn't win that fight. I did something illegal." - Jones. Unfortunately for Hamill, the prior four minutes were completely legal.
"Now I have no pressure because I'm not undefeated!" - Jones. Maybe he tapped into Fedor Emelianenko's secret to success?
THAT'S PRETTY ARROGANT, CONSIDERING THE COMPANY YOU'RE IN
"If he keeps winning, and I keep winning, it could happen." "King" Mo Lawal, who has made excuses for his lack of quality opposition under the umbrella of "development", foreshadowing a fight with Fedor. (MMA Junkie)
"I have a feeling Gegard Mousasi's going to be at 185 again, eventually. I have a feeling that I'm going to be the reason he goes back down." - Lawal, detailing plans to cut Mousasi's left leg off.
YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO THINK UP THERE. IF YOU THINK, YOU'RE DEAD.
"Rosa Parks wasn't supposed to ride in the front of the bus. She was supposed to be in the back of that bus. Nick is the Rosa Parks of MMA." - Nick Diaz's trainer Cesar Gracie, who gets his stuff from Diaz. (MMA Weekly)
PARTING SHOTS
"No coaches wanted to scout a guy who looks like a little girl in the lower-body department." - Jon "Bones" Jones. I, however, would like to scout his girlish "lower body department"! (Las Vegas Review Journal)
"I'm tired of seeing many of our former fight idols destitute and in a state of poverty." - James Weber, inaugural Chairman of the Michigan Unarmed Combat Commission. While it's sad to see great athletes become shells of their former selves, perhaps Weber should concentrate on the 15% of his state's labor market currently out of steady income? (Detroit Free Press)
"When your kids come to wake you up and you start choking out your kids, that's when you know you have it right." - Houston Alexander, using a poor choice of words with a representative of Nebraska's Department of Family Services. (Spike.com)
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Rec'd for numerous Top Gun references.
Who knew Mike Fagan was so cool?
That's not so bad.
It’s not like you’re talking about the Macarena or something of that ilk.
by Cannon Jacques on Dec 6, 2009 9:21 PM EST up reply actions
Guess what you just got stuck in my head…
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. -Samuel Beckett
by Scott C. Broussard on Dec 6, 2009 9:22 PM EST up reply actions
Y'know, Jones arguably gave BE another namesake...
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. -Samuel Beckett
by Scott C. Broussard on Dec 6, 2009 9:28 PM EST reply actions
So do we reckon Houston will be cut for his performance, or do u reckon Dana White will keep him around for ever to try and cement the legitimacy of Kimbo’s win?
Sorry, he Jason Bourned me.
I think he gets cut. Houston was already on shaky ground after his three consecutive losses. Another loss, with a very ungamey performance does not serve him well.
Twitter: @Mike_Fagan_13
http://www.sackmikegoldberg.com
Yeh that’s what i was thinking. I hadn’t actually heard what Dana had said about the fight until i read what you posted above and he pretty much said exactly what i thought he would. That said, i had a funny feeling he may not instantly boot the ‘legitimate’ fighter who Kimbo just beat, but you’re probably right, he will.
Sorry, he Jason Bourned me.
Houston Alexander hasn’t won a UFC fight in over 2 years he kept his contract because he was exciting and always came to fight. Well now it seems he’s blown that too. I’m not sure why they would keep him at this point and he would probably be better off being a bigger fish in a smaller pond where he could be competitive too.
Houston is obviously gone. If the UFC were keeping him, Dana would be saying how good Houston is and he must have had a bad night. but since Dana is trashing him, clearly his walking papers were waiting for him.
"Why am I here? Why does my mind have wings? Why do blue midgets hit me with fish?!" - The Tick
Simply put…the man got tooled on the ground by KIMBO SLICE.
Nuff’ said.
"You guys are jerking eachother off with some pseudo deep bullshit." - Kid Nate
by Kaleb Kelchner on Dec 6, 2009 9:59 PM EST up reply actions
I wouldn’t doubt if they had his walking papers there and ready. The worst part is he had a good idea with the attack the weak leg…but had he threw combos ending with the leg kick, he would have just slaughtered Kimbo. I almost feel bad for Houston…who knows what made him do what he did, but he did it, and it was bad.
"You guys are jerking eachother off with some pseudo deep bullshit." - Kid Nate
by Kaleb Kelchner on Dec 6, 2009 10:15 PM EST up reply actions
I think Kimbo’s reach screwed his leg kick plan up. The one thing Kimbo can do better than most mma fighters is box. He’s not great but he can kind of throw a clean jab and straight punches, so everytime Houston stepped in he had to wade through a jab and watch out for combos. He even had to be careful when throwing leg kicks because of Kimbo’s reach advantage. And because of Kimbo’s size advantage he couldn’t even do anything with his clinch.
The one thing Kimbo can do better than most mma fighters is box.
Just wanted to highlight that part for ya.
"Why am I here? Why does my mind have wings? Why do blue midgets hit me with fish?!" - The Tick
Maybe he meant beatbox
The only thing Jon Jones does better than Matt Hamill is hear.
(And smash faces)
Any ideas on who could be next for Jones
Go get that bread, Kimbo Slice. - Mike Fagan
by SouthAlaBamaRampage on Dec 6, 2009 9:55 PM EST reply actions
Would be cool to see a rematch. But others have suggested Vera which could be cool.
"Why am I here? Why does my mind have wings? Why do blue midgets hit me with fish?!" - The Tick
I’m thinking the Janitor or he could whoop the tar out of Vera.
Keep firing Assholes!
Fedor has accomplished nothing until he fights Kimbo.
Jones vs. Vera could be a well placed supplement to some of the sparce shows the UFC has in the near future.
"You guys are jerking eachother off with some pseudo deep bullshit." - Kid Nate
by Kaleb Kelchner on Dec 6, 2009 10:02 PM EST up reply actions
I want the Janitor to be groomed nicely for the spotlight. Give him Vera. Force Vera to actually fight for a finish.
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. -Samuel Beckett
by Scott C. Broussard on Dec 6, 2009 10:09 PM EST up reply actions
I called for the Hamill fight last time and that came to fruition, this time I’m calling for Vera so let’s see if I can go 2-0.
The only thing Jon Jones does better than Matt Hamill is hear.
(And smash faces)
If he dominates Vera the way he did Hamill then I won’t mind too much.
The only thing Jon Jones does better than Matt Hamill is hear.
(And smash faces)
by ufc4 on Dec 7, 2009 8:29 AM EST via mobile up reply actions
Im thinking they might actually go with Griffin
Go get that bread, Kimbo Slice. - Mike Fagan
by SouthAlaBamaRampage on Dec 6, 2009 10:42 PM EST up reply actions
True that. I mean, if Jones was able to dislocate the shoulder of a wrestler of Hammill’s caliber with a takedown, imagine what he would do to someone with Griffin’s takedown defence.
Sorry, he Jason Bourned me.
He would break his spine? Or smash him into tiny bits?
by dancingChicken on Dec 7, 2009 11:52 AM EST up reply actions
huh??
You want to scout Jones’ girlish lower body department???…
Am I missing something here?
by The_Gaijin on Dec 6, 2009 11:41 PM EST via mobile reply actions
Humor
Go get that bread, Kimbo Slice. - Mike Fagan
by SouthAlaBamaRampage on Dec 7, 2009 1:01 AM EST up reply actions
Love the clever comments
A silver lining was found when fight doctors discovered Jones beat Hamill’s hearing back
Nothing like making fun of a person’s handicap to try to get a laugh!
by kurdtdk on Dec 7, 2009 1:25 AM EST reply actions 3 recs
Seriously. Pat yourself on the back for that one, Mike.
by JRN on Dec 7, 2009 1:42 AM EST up reply actions
nothin Louis C.K. wouldn't say
i lol’d
(but I’m also a heartless bastard, so my perspective is skewed..)
We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms, turning every good thing to rust.
I'm a heartless bastard most of the time, too
but that line wasn’t necessary. Maybe it’s because I have a kid with a incurable vision disability. Not a big fan of cripple humor as a result.
"(Brock Lesnar) is never in good spirits and he's not in good spirits now." - Dana White
Thx for the backup
Kids today, I swear…
"(Brock Lesnar) is never in good spirits and he's not in good spirits now." - Dana White
I don't know why you need backup
I wasn’t trying to attack you. Just stating that a lot of people with disabilities would be offended by the use of that word in that context. Not trying to start a fight. And I’m not a kid either :-)
Yeah, people need to keep in mind that my humor is heavily influenced by a guy who jokes about cleaning fecal matter off his baby daughter’s vagina.
Twitter: @Mike_Fagan_13
http://www.sackmikegoldberg.com
Low blow Mike
I expect lines like that from message-boarders but not from guys attempting to be journalists
I don’t think anyone’s trying to be a “journalist” on a blog that guys work on in their spare time. Regardless, it was a pretty unnecessary and tasteless attempt at “humour” that I could have lived without.
Well, considering that the writers here have campaigned for Press Credintials in the past...
I think expecting journalist level effort from them is reasonable.
Just watched the IASIP episode “The Gang Wrestles for the Troops” and there’s definitely a pro wrasslin match involving Don Frye and Rowdy Roddy Piper
We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms, turning every good thing to rust.
"I, however, would like to scout his girlish "lower body department"!"
Ummm, are you coming on to Jon Jones?
Well that comment is the first step at least.
Not that I condone facism or any ism for that matter. Isms are in my opinion, not good. A person shouldn't believe in an ism, he should believe in himself.
I quote John Lennon, "I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me". Good point there, after all he was the walrus. I could be the walrus. Wouldn't change the fact I have to bum rides off of people.
Unfortunately for Hamill, the prior four minutes were completely legal.
MInus the 2-3 illegal elbows from about a minute of ground and pound domination.
Check out my recent MMA drawings on my blog, drop a comment, or subscribe via RSS for updates http://www.scritchandscratch.com/blog/?tag=mma
Which got separated from being thrown around like a ragdoll.
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. -Samuel Beckett
by Scott C. Broussard on Dec 7, 2009 3:05 PM EST up reply actions
I’m talking about the four minutes before the elbows…
Twitter: @Mike_Fagan_13
http://www.sackmikegoldberg.com
“I don’t know what Houston Alexander’s corner was doing, but that was the worst game plan they could have ever come up with.” – UFC President Dana White.
“What? No. It was total coincidence that Houston decided to fight his very first cautious fight in the UFC when he was matched up against our second biggest cash cow besides Brock.”
/hides envelopes of $100s marked “for Houston”
BOOSH
You’re not implying that Kimbo isn’t the bestest, are you?
"Why am I here? Why does my mind have wings? Why do blue midgets hit me with fish?!" - The Tick
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