THE PLAQUE FOR THE ALTERNATES IS DOWN IN THE LADIES' ROOM
"I would have booed, too." - Kimbo Slice, on his fight with Houston Alexander at the TUF 10 finale. Alexander's strategy would be best described as a lovechild between Kalib Starnes and Forrest Griffin. (Sherdog)
"I don’t know what Houston Alexander’s corner was doing, but that was the worst game plan they could have ever come up with." - UFC President Dana White. Houston was not following the gameplan. (Yahoo)
"I am not sure if Kalib Starnes was training him or what, but that wasn’t the Houston Alexander I had seen fight before." - White. You mean the Houston Alexander that got insta-mounted by Thiago Silva or the one that James Irvin blasted in eight seconds?
"He took me up on the offer I made, did what he had to do and went out and beat a legitimate UFC fighter." - White, on Kimbo's merit. I don't think "legitimate" means what Dana thinks it does.
"This will probably end up being knockout of the night, but it's going to be me, doing the knocking out." - Alexander, in the buildup to the fight. The only guy knocked out in this fight was Houston, right out of the UFC's good graces.
COMMUNICATING. KEEPING UP FOREIGN RELATIONS. YOU KNOW, GIVING HIM THE BIRD!
"Not because the haters are talking shit about me being scared of Rashad or Titties or anybody else. I'm coming back for my fans and to shut Rashad's mouth up and shut Dana's mouth up." - Former UFC light heavyweight champ Quinton "Rampage" Jackson, announcing his "surprise" return to the UFC. (Rampage-Jackson.com)
"My mom’s on Rampage’s side. She’s cheering for Rampage. She’s always saying, ‘Ruuh-shawd, be nice to Rampage! He’s so funny!’ I’m like, ‘Ma, who cares if he’s funny?’" - Former UFC light heavyweight champ Rashad Evans. (Las Vegas Sun)
"I could see him walk into a room and I start getting ready to throw down. The hair raises on the back of my neck because I know he’s going to say something. I just want to crack him." - Evans
THE DEFENSE DEPARTMENT REGRETS TO INFORM YOU THAT YOUR SONS ARE DEAD BECAUSE THEY WERE STUPID
"Honestly, I really, I just dislike the guy. Oh man. I try not to hold grudges at all, so I’m not going to let it beat me up inside." - Darrill "Titties" Schoonover, on his long-held grudge with Quinton Jackson. (MMA Mania)
"I really don’t care that much, but I would really love to fight him. Like I really, really want to fight this guy." - Schoonover, really, really doesn't care.
"Like I remember me and my little brother when I was going in, my little brother was pretty proud of me. He’s like, 'Yeah bro. That’s cool man. You’re going to get to train with Rashad or ‘Rampage.’ 'He’s like, 'I hope you get ‘Rampage.' You’re going to love him.' And I was just like, 'Yeah man. ‘Rampage’ is pretty cool.' And then all this starts happening and I’m just like, 'I hate ‘Rampage.'" - Schoonover. So Rampage acts like...Rampage, and you get all butthurt about it?
TOP GUN RULES OF ENGAGEMENT ARE WRITTEN FOR YOUR SAFETY AND FOR THAT OF YOUR TEAM. THEY ARE NOT FLEXIBLE, NOR AM I. EITHER OBEY THEM OR YOU ARE HISTORY. IS THAT CLEAR?
"Well, you know, situations like this can only make you better." - Jon "Bones" Jones, disqualified in his match with Matt Hamill after delivering two 12-6 downward elbow strikes. A silver lining was found when fight doctors discovered Jones beat Hamill's hearing back. (UFC.com)
"Everybody has to be harnessed." - Greg Jackson, an interesting prefight comment with a very different meaning postfight. (Sherdog)
"I didn't win that fight. I did something illegal." - Jones. Unfortunately for Hamill, the prior four minutes were completely legal.
"Now I have no pressure because I'm not undefeated!" - Jones. Maybe he tapped into Fedor Emelianenko's secret to success?
THAT'S PRETTY ARROGANT, CONSIDERING THE COMPANY YOU'RE IN
"If he keeps winning, and I keep winning, it could happen." "King" Mo Lawal, who has made excuses for his lack of quality opposition under the umbrella of "development", foreshadowing a fight with Fedor. (MMA Junkie)
"I have a feeling Gegard Mousasi's going to be at 185 again, eventually. I have a feeling that I'm going to be the reason he goes back down." - Lawal, detailing plans to cut Mousasi's left leg off.
YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO THINK UP THERE. IF YOU THINK, YOU'RE DEAD.
"Rosa Parks wasn't supposed to ride in the front of the bus. She was supposed to be in the back of that bus. Nick is the Rosa Parks of MMA." - Nick Diaz's trainer Cesar Gracie, who gets his stuff from Diaz. (MMA Weekly)
"No coaches wanted to scout a guy who looks like a little girl in the lower-body department." - Jon "Bones" Jones. I, however, would like to scout his girlish "lower body department"! (Las Vegas Review Journal)
"I'm tired of seeing many of our former fight idols destitute and in a state of poverty." - James Weber, inaugural Chairman of the Michigan Unarmed Combat Commission. While it's sad to see great athletes become shells of their former selves, perhaps Weber should concentrate on the 15% of his state's labor market currently out of steady income? (Detroit Free Press)
"When your kids come to wake you up and you start choking out your kids, that's when you know you have it right." - Houston Alexander, using a poor choice of words with a representative of Nebraska's Department of Family Services. (Spike.com)