The War Machine manhunt begins:
Jonathan Koppenhaver also has a record that includes obstructing a police officer and possession of a stolen firearm.
His last known address was in the 5000 block of West Hacienda in Las Vegas.
Koppenhaver goes by the names "War Machine" and "War Hammer," and also has a very distinctive hand grenade tattoo on the left side of the neck
Metro says Koppenhaver should be considered armed and dangerous. Anyone with information is asked to call CrimeStoppers at 385-5555.
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Koppenhaver goes by the names “War Machine” and “War Hammer,” and also has a very distinctive hand grenade tattoo on the left side of the neck
This line sounds like it’s out of a movie and they’re searching for the most baddest mofo in town.
"He hit like a bitch."
by SMC on Dec 1, 2009 3:45 PM EST reply actions 1 recs
Especially with their movie telephone number.
"I’m sorry. I didn’t drink last night, so I’m not funny today."
-Sakuraba
running from cops:
a good reason to never get a neck tattoo
The path to my fixed purpose is laid with iron rails, whereon my soul is grooved to run. Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering BROCKLESNAR; to the last I grapple with thee.
War said he would be talking to the cops and clearing things up “tomorrow.” He said this in the wee hours of the morning so I’m not sure if he meant tomorrow as in today or as in tomorrow.
Editor - BloodyElbow.com - SBNation's mixed martial arts headquarters.
MMA Editor - SBNation.com
by Brent Brookhouse on Dec 1, 2009 3:57 PM EST reply actions
New Dream Match
War Machine v. Junie Browning at Idon’tcareweight.
Loser is fired. Out of a cannon. Into the sun.
...Behold, a pale horse. The man that sat upon it was Wieters, and hell followed with him.
"BJ on the BE" - Kierkegaard
by Brett Jones on Dec 1, 2009 3:57 PM EST reply actions 11 recs
It’s a space cannon. It’s from the future. 2999.
...Behold, a pale horse. The man that sat upon it was Wieters, and hell followed with him.
"BJ on the BE" - Kierkegaard
by Brett Jones on Dec 1, 2009 4:05 PM EST up reply actions 6 recs
Shouldn`t it be the WINNER that gets fired into the sun? Since that fighter would clearly be a bigger threat to the survival of mankind?
"Marcus Davis is a plastic paddy"-Dan Hardy
by BlueberryMuffin on Dec 1, 2009 4:19 PM EST up reply actions
Nah they just send the winner back to jail.
...Behold, a pale horse. The man that sat upon it was Wieters, and hell followed with him.
"BJ on the BE" - Kierkegaard
by Brett Jones on Dec 1, 2009 4:31 PM EST up reply actions 3 recs
Winner gets to run the gauntlet
Start with GSP, next Lyoto, Anderson, then Fedor since Brock has a hole in his stomach.
"I will do nothing lightly. When I walk, I will walk heavily. When I fight, I will fight with conviction. When I speak, I will speak strongly. When I love, I will love with everything"
So
loser gets outwrestled, outpointed, outclassed in stand-up, and then get his block knocked off. I can dig that.
"You talk to much, You have to be careful." - Cheick Kongo
@deowade
by Damon O. on Dec 1, 2009 8:45 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
Throw in a little Aldo so they can get buzz-sawed.
Keep firing Assholes!
In Idaho, it's illegal to f--- a porcupine. You know why? Because someone tried it.
Naw, feed them to Mike Tyson (literally feed them – Iron Mike has a history of that)
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. -Samuel Beckett
by Scott C. Broussard on Dec 1, 2009 11:33 PM EST up reply actions
Is it really even possible for a winner to emerge from that fight?
by xbuckeyex05 on Dec 1, 2009 5:44 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
If we’re rid of either or both, everybody wins.
by worldcupfever on Dec 1, 2009 5:49 PM EST up reply actions
Why can i not rec this any more than once?
That would make me so happy
Just when I thought I could not like Machida any less....UFC 104
They could do some sort of a “Countdown” show leading up it, but you know damn well that one of them would do something ass-stupid and get arrested before the actual fight.
by worldcupfever on Dec 1, 2009 4:39 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
war machine vs lee murray
ufc 111 fugitive
by cagefightonacid on Dec 1, 2009 8:03 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
Warning: the suspect is armed and stupid.
Keep firing Assholes!
In Idaho, it's illegal to f--- a porcupine. You know why? Because someone tried it.
by Ubernoober on Dec 1, 2009 4:01 PM EST reply actions 2 recs
fxd
Warning: the suspect is armed with stupid.
"I’m sorry. I didn’t drink last night, so I’m not funny today."
-Sakuraba
by Blackout612 on Dec 1, 2009 4:02 PM EST up reply actions 7 recs
“Really sick of everyone targeting me all the time. All I ever do is want to have a good time. But it never fails that someone has to f*ck with me. Everyone wants their 15 mins of fame and at my cost. When a 6’5’’ 330lb bouncer picks a fight with me and I hit him once and take him down. I’m the bad guy? When a bunch of wanna be mobster porn agent f*ckin pimps surround me at a party cussing at me and shit and I am forced into war mode I’m the bad guy? Just because I am tough doesn’t mean I don’t get scared. Giant 300+ pounders intimidate me. Groups of dudes cussing at me and surrounding me intimidate me. I don’t want to get hurt. Wat if the giant dude or the group of men would have smashed me? It easily could have happened. Then they’d be the ones in trouble. So just because I’m capable/lucky enough to win against those odds Im a criminal? That’s bullshit and not right. Just because I’m a pro fighter doesn’t mean I have to lay down and let people hurt me. Everyone will see in the end when I beat my cases because I’m ALLOWED to defend myself that I am not the f*cking “monster” I’m a good person. G’nite. PS Thanks for all my Birthday wishes. Tomorrow I talk to the cops to get this shit straightened out." -War Machine
i dunno if this has already been posted or if it sheds more light on the situation...
“According to Adult FYI, the incidents occurred at a party thrown for Brooke Haven at the Ultimate Porn Studios. War Machine began haranguing his agent and then allegedly slapped his girlfriend when she intervened (this has since been denied by the girl in question), according to one attendee.
"Apparently War Machine wasn’t too happy, claiming that Derek Hay wasn’t getting him enough work as far as he was concerned. What happened next was speculative. Either War Machine socked a girl or was accused of doing it. Either way he snapped and began doing an Octagon dance and waving his fists. One guy was clocked and had three teeth knocked out. Another guy- an Asian – had his nose broken," the source recounted.
"Then War Machine came after Derek and knocked him down. Alec Knight was also hit and went down, his head striking the pavement. It seemed that every time someone tried to advise War Machine to mellow out or tried to talk sense to him, they got hit for their efforts. Maybe six guys in all got punched. War Machine was relentless as the crowd kept a distance."
"The incident wound up with War Machine and Derek playing hide and seek with one another around a dumpster, then at some point, both War Machine and Derek took off when someone threatened to call the cops."
"I want to tell me what you see, lets go ahead and see by the fight, what you saw, in the ring" -Tito Ortiz, MMA's finest commentator.
“Another guy- an Asian – had his nose broken”
What a ridiculous line. I actually laughed out loud when I read that.
Giving Shogun his props. I had the fight 48-47 Machida but Shogun put up a monumental performance and I am honored to have seen it in person.
by Day Man on Dec 1, 2009 4:20 PM EST up reply actions 4 recs
god knows what an octagon dance is, but i too found the asian line hilarious. what was the need to mention the dude’s race? either way, the entire situation sounds completly ridiculous. obviously this is all just speculation, i have no idea what or who to believe. immediatly dismiss nothing when war machine is involved i suppose
"I want to tell me what you see, lets go ahead and see by the fight, what you saw, in the ring" -Tito Ortiz, MMA's finest commentator.
Reminds me of games like Call of Duty where they have a silhouette of a bomb to let you know where to place it.
by MMAInFeRioRiTy on Dec 1, 2009 5:38 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs
I’m sure this was all just some big, zany misunderstanding and all parties involved will have a good laugh about it when all this is straightened out.
by Rich Wyatt on Dec 1, 2009 4:06 PM EST reply actions 6 recs
War Machine
Proving once again that it’s never a good idea to trust “neck tattoo guy.”
...Behold, a pale horse. The man that sat upon it was Wieters, and hell followed with him.
"BJ on the BE" - Kierkegaard
by Brett Jones on Dec 1, 2009 4:06 PM EST reply actions 6 recs
Does an on-the-run War Machine wake up one morning to find Lee Murray’s business card in his shirt pocket?
We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms, turning every good thing to rust.
Or he and Shonie Carter wake up blindfolded in a hotel room in Bulgaria
or wherever it was that Shonie found himself
Hell no. Even Lee Murray thinks War Machine is an unsavory character.
...Behold, a pale horse. The man that sat upon it was Wieters, and hell followed with him.
"BJ on the BE" - Kierkegaard
Lee Murray is busy doing technical consulting on Ocean’s 14
Keep firing Assholes!
In Idaho, it's illegal to f--- a porcupine. You know why? Because someone tried it.
by Ubernoober on Dec 1, 2009 4:39 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Rumor has it he’s replacing Bernie Mac.
...Behold, a pale horse. The man that sat upon it was Wieters, and hell followed with him.
"BJ on the BE" - Kierkegaard
His cell phone # is all over the net. Couldn’t they just do some techie spy stuff and ping the location of his cell phone to ensnare him?
You can tell I don’t watch cop/CSI shows enough.
"My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs." - BJ Penn
Iron Man 2
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. -Samuel Beckett
by Scott C. Broussard on Dec 1, 2009 5:53 PM EST up reply actions
You guys have it all wrong
"I’m sorry. I didn’t drink last night, so I’m not funny today."
-Sakuraba
by Blackout612 on Dec 1, 2009 6:26 PM EST up reply actions 2 recs
Green iz best!!!
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. -Samuel Beckett
by Scott C. Broussard on Dec 1, 2009 6:28 PM EST up reply actions
nice war machine reference
everytime I hear about him I think of that character
by cagefightonacid on Dec 1, 2009 8:09 PM EST via mobile up reply actions
This will be a short manhunt.
All the cops have to do is lay out a big pile of shit and this clown will step in it.
by CaptnAmerca on Dec 1, 2009 5:12 PM EST reply actions 4 recs
Well yes officer,..
I saw war machine at the blue oyster bar! he was making an porno with a nurse than junie browning came in and smaked her around! Karo parisian was in the corner poppin oxycotin and saw the who thing…
And the shame spiral is nearly complete.
This guy is officially circling the drain.
So For Realzzz...
What’s the over/under on days until said mentioned suicide attempt or successful suicide? I have the feeling he’s dumb enough to screw up trying to off himself.
"Death, so called, is a thing which makes men weep, And yet a third of life is passed in sleep."
- Lord Byron
by MyFightWiffaCheeto on Dec 1, 2009 6:49 PM EST reply actions
I just want to point out the irony of a guy who talks about killing others and then himself being all “It wasn’t my fault! I need to talk to the police! I was afraid!”
Editor - BloodyElbow.com - SBNation's mixed martial arts headquarters.
MMA Editor - SBNation.com
by Brent Brookhouse on Dec 1, 2009 6:57 PM EST reply actions
Granted, twitter offers a lens into the drunken subconscious. One is a drunken rant by troubled guy, the other is a sober? justification by a troubled guy. Not a big difference to most, but I think there is a distinction.
The thing of it is War Machine probably makes better decisions when he’s drunk than when he’s sober so he can’t really use that as an excuse.
why is that?
all those tweets were done when he was drunk, and he was at a party probably getting drunk too.. i really doubt he was sober then.
by Anton Tabuena on Dec 1, 2009 8:35 PM EST up reply actions
Who the fuck is Jon?
Giving Shogun his props. I had the fight 48-47 Machida but Shogun put up a monumental performance and I am honored to have seen it in person.
If you see this guy call the nearest yoshiyuki yoshida then run for your life
by nastyem on Dec 1, 2009 7:44 PM EST reply actions 4 recs
I was there for that fight, that is the least scary angle. He goes crazy limp (insert your own porn jokes)
Giving Shogun his props. I had the fight 48-47 Machida but Shogun put up a monumental performance and I am honored to have seen it in person.
Oh yea, much better. Its also possible that some damage was done to his brain due to the lack of blood/oxygen that night.
Giving Shogun his props. I had the fight 48-47 Machida but Shogun put up a monumental performance and I am honored to have seen it in person.
but according to saturday night fights.
if you hold your breath you’ll be alright.
by Anton Tabuena on Dec 1, 2009 11:44 PM EST up reply actions
The FBI agents that talked to him last week are probably getting yelled at by there boss.
Kimbo wants to take your caterpiller and do bad things to it.
i don’t doubt that he actually believes all he has to do is talk to the cops to straighten out somehwere in the neighborhood of assaulting 5-8 people, women possibly included. can you imagine the court case and the witnesses called: “Please state your name and occupation.”
“John North. Pornstar.”
Lol.
Gatti. Dekkers. Pele. Aoki. Kang. Vanderlei. Basillio. Harry Greb.
by theworldsoldestsport on Dec 2, 2009 1:55 PM EST reply actions
Judging
by the Twittering, the porn world is understandably unsympathetic. The guy whose place it was at (and he was bartending, link NSFW) stated at a porn message board that “there is more than enough evidence and witnesses across the board to prove that War Machine is liable for damages,” and the birthday girl sounds like it’s all on WM.
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