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BLACK MAGIC ONLY WORKS ON THE ROOKIE

"I look into his eyes and I see nothing." - Brett Rogers, before his fight with the world's number one heavyweight Fedor Emelianenko.  Emelianenko knocked out Rogers two minutes into the second round. (Sports Illustrated)

"A lot of people say, 'Don't pay attention to his demeanor because it will psyche you out.' It's true. I feel that." - Rogers.

"I guess you can say I didn't see it coming." - Rogers, following the loss.  Emelianenko landed a counter right hook that floored the Chicago native. (Cage Writer)

"The fight went as planned." - Rogers.  My wallet agrees.

'"I think a lot of people sleep on [his speed], his first step." - Rogers; who, in all fairness, performed better than your average Sam's Club tire mechanic.

"I met a bear in the zoo. A bear is very strong; very hard for a human to kill a bear with simple methods." - Emelianenko, with his most interesting quotable for the week. (Yahoo)

IT'S THIS MONKEY THAT BASICALLY TRAVELS AROUND THE WORLD, DOING NASTY THINGS

"I think it’s funny how some people are underestimating me." - Jason "Mayhem" Miller, who entered the fight around a 5-2 underdog against Jake Shields.  Shields would go on to control Miller on the floor for the entire five rounds. (MMA Mania)

"I should be the favorite. But oddsmakers’ jobs are to make money and to get action." - Miller.  The operating phrase in this sentence is "make money".

"I’m going to turn this into a brawl. I’m not interested in turning it into a hugging contest, which is what he may do." - Miller, who got more hugs than your Aunt Selma.

DESPERATION IS A STINKY COLOGNE

"I still had my apartment but if something would've happened and the fight had been canceled, I would've been evicted six days later." - Pat Barry, who went into his UFC 104 bout with Antoni Hardonk without a penny to his name. (MMAScrapsRadio.com)

"I go to the bank, I'm sweaty, I've got the black eye, I haven't shaven in two days, I'm strung out because I haven't slept, I have green circles under my eyes so I'm like 'Can I have a deposit slip ma'am?'" - Barry, this really isn't too far off from your everyday bank customer.

"She looks at the deposit slip, then the check, then looks at me and says 'Excuse me I'll be right back.' Then a manager comes out, a guy in a suit and says 'What seems to be the problem?' I was like 'Well I have a black eye, that's the only problem. I know this looks really ridiculous.'" - Barry

"So he asks me for my ID, I hand him my license an he's like 'Your license says Pat Barry, but this check was written to Patrick Barry.' So I decided to be funny and tell him Pat Barry is in my trunk right now. He didnt laugh." - Barry, making a second level joke about living in his car.

WE SHOULD HAVE TAKEN YOU OUT BACK AND SHOT YOU A LONG TIME AGO

"Unfortunately Josh was matched up with fighters that wanted to take him down and lay on him to grind out a victory." - Josh Neer's manager Mickey Dubberly, giving his reasons Neer was let go by the UFC. (ProMMA.info)

"If you are going to take Josh down then at least try to finish him, just don’t lay on him and hold him down." - Dubberly.  I have some advice to your client.  Learn to get the fuck up.

THEY THINK I'M MEXICAN

"I know I’ve lost two matches. I still think I can beat him, and I still think that’s a big fight." - Former UFC light heavyweight champ Tito Ortiz, clamoring for a third fight with Chuck Liddell.  You can't beat him, and it's not a big fight. (MMA Weekly)

"I think if I call him out enough times I think he’ll be a man and step up." - Ortiz, hopefully Chuck didn't learn "How to Be a Man" from Tito Ortiz.

PARTING SHOTS

"I guarantee you 1,000 percent that Dan Henderson is signed by Strikeforce." - UFC President Dana White (Yahoo)

"Two fatties swinging like bums. Yawn, stretch, back to sleep." - Chael Sonnen, in his prediction about the Fedor/Rogers fight.  Some doctors are looking into the Sonnen/Okami fight as a sleep remedy. (Sherdog)

"Cung won't fight me.  That's why he vacated the belt obviously...and then fights a month later." - Jake Shields.  How can you talk about Cung Le when he's fought such MMA luminaries as Tony Fryklund, Sam Morris, and Jason Von Flue? (Bloody Elbow)

"You know Shogun wasn’t the only one robbed that night. So what If I lost the first round by a small margin, all that meant is there were still two rounds up for grabs, my shoulders were just loosening up at the beginning of the second round – the real fight was just getting started." - Ben Rothwell, complaining about the stoppage of his bout with Cain Velasquez at UFC 104.  Cain must have really scrambled his eggs if Ben thought the first round was close. (Cage Report)

"I’m not sure exactly what it is he has, mono or whatever, but I know that he was sick and couldn’t get a good, hard workout in." - Brock Lesnar's trainer Greg Nelson.  Lesnar's fight with Shane Carwin was pushed back to January 2nd, and now looks like it will be pushed back further. (Yahoo)