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Jon "War Machine" Koppenhaver Goes Berserk at Porn Industry Party

According to adultfyi.com:

..."This looked like something out of a bad Vince McMahon script as this guy War Machine went nuts and began taking everyone on at this party," The Vizier says. "We're talking multiple assaults and battery with the cops after him."

"War Machine’s own agent, Derek Hay, looked to be the primary target with a couple of shots to the head. Mika Tan’s Ex was KO’d as well & sent to hospital."

"I never saw anything like it," continued The Vizier. "War Machine was in kill mode. His fists were lethal weapons. Anyone who tried to get between him and Derek got taken down – hard."

War Machine responds on Twitter:

Update from TerezOwens:

Update: I have in fact spoken to War Machine's Girlfriend Alanah Rae, who confirms that the former MMA star hit her across the face last night at Brook  Haven's Birthday Party..She claims he then went on to pummel almost a dozen dudes including his own porn agent Derek Hay..who still remains in the hospital recovering...more to come. -TO

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War Machine Goes Berserk At Porn Industry Party

“War Machine’s own agent, Derek Hay, looked to be the primary target with a couple of shots to the head

let the gay jokes ensue

"he's the best punchy face man in the buisness"

by blubber_guard on Nov 29, 2009 6:28 PM EST reply actions  

I think you are the only one who saw it that way, time to come out of the closet buddy.

by TheDood on Nov 29, 2009 11:46 PM EST up reply actions  

Twitter: @silverobot
JTV: SIlverobot

by Silverobot on Nov 30, 2009 2:43 AM EST up reply actions   1 recs

that his GF?

"Like a ballet of violence clothed in fine Brazilian silk." ~ MMASuPreMaCy

by Benicio on Nov 30, 2009 3:54 AM EST up reply actions  

i bet the underside of her boobs fold in and the surgery looks horrible. ugh, i hate when boobies look like a plastic grocery bag full of water

We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms, turning every good thing to rust.

by Anthony Pace on Nov 30, 2009 6:04 AM EST up reply actions  

Shouldn’t he be happy to go to prison? Wouldn’t that a mark of pride for his perverse version of masculinity?

Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. -Samuel Beckett

by themachiavellian on Nov 29, 2009 6:33 PM EST reply actions  

masochism. the word you are looking for is masochism.

The path to my fixed purpose is laid with iron rails, whereon my soul is grooved to run. Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering BROCKLESNAR; to the last I grapple with thee.

by judonerd on Nov 29, 2009 7:14 PM EST up reply actions  

No.. No.. No.. You got it all wrong... You meant..

Shouldn’t he be locked in a room with Junie Browning and see who makes it out alive ??

8-29-09

Keith Jardine is now known as "The Dean of Antihistamine" because he is always sleeping early in fights..

by MMAuthority on Nov 29, 2009 8:29 PM EST up reply actions  

Who would let them out?

by natyong on Nov 30, 2009 10:12 PM EST up reply actions  

Good lord. Put him in a mental facility for an extended stay and be done with it. The man needs help badly, and just as badly needs to be separated from the rest of society.

by gzl5000 on Nov 29, 2009 6:36 PM EST reply actions   2 recs

I read his recent stuff on twitter, and he actually acted upon what he tweeted. War Machine is a character for sure, but this guy needs help because he seriously might kill someone, and maybe himself as his tweets were saying.

by chrisbboy82 on Nov 29, 2009 7:27 PM EST up reply actions  

As a professional fighter, isn’t there some unspoken agreement that you don’t fight regular people (regardless if they know who you are, or not)?

Spinning out solid gold, like Rumpelstiltskin.

by Heenan on Nov 29, 2009 6:38 PM EST reply actions  

Some states have a law stating that a prize fighter’s hands are considered “deadly weapons” and if a prize fighter is charged with assault he/she can be charged with “assault with a deadly weapon” which carries stiffer punishment vs assault and battery.

by pwrcartel on Nov 29, 2009 8:12 PM EST up reply actions  

correct

 and you will never be able to get a license again

by espino on Nov 29, 2009 8:14 PM EST up reply actions  

I know thats true for boxers, cage fighters too? What about Cain? Can you get “assault with soft pillows”?

by ryanwk628 on Nov 29, 2009 8:23 PM EST up reply actions   2 recs

Nice move... You just scared Princess Leah look alikes everywhere.

"Why am I here? Why does my mind have wings? Why do blue midgets hit me with fish?!" - The Tick

by mythbuster on Nov 29, 2009 8:55 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

the one on the left with the tramp stamp from the 80s must be their chaperone

We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms, turning every good thing to rust.

by Anthony Pace on Nov 30, 2009 6:05 AM EST up reply actions  

She’s the token MILF

"Why am I here? Why does my mind have wings? Why do blue midgets hit me with fish?!" - The Tick

by mythbuster on Nov 30, 2009 7:56 PM EST up reply actions  

INCORRECT......

I got this off of stupidquestion.com (hey, I didn’t name it)

Q: Is it true that boxers and martial artists have their hands registered as deadly weapons?

A: No. The only thing close is an outfit called the International Lethal Defense Combat Organization, which for a $25 membership fee will send you a "document which testifies that your hands are registered" with them.

It’s unknown who started the hand-registration myth, but it’s still current among sportswriters and martial artists.

No only is there no hand registration; there’s no law that specifically classifies any body part as a deadly weapon, or that places professional or trained fighters under any special restrictions. However, fists—anybody’s fists—are sometimes classed as deadly weapons, and the whole concept is a legal gray area.

The distinction is important because use of a deadly weapon upgrades an assault or battery to a more serious crime.

Recently, the fists-as-weapons concept has begun appearing in criminal cases involving boxers. This concept was absent from such cases as late as the 1950s, when Sonny Liston was getting into street brawls. But when former World Boxing Association heavyweight champ Michael Dokes was charged with beating his wife in 1998, his attorney was careful to note that he didn’t used closed fists, fearing they’d be classified as deadly weapons.

In 1999, North American Boxing Federation super-middleweight champ Scott Pemberton was charged with "assault and battery with a dangerous weapon" for punching a man, but this was later reduced to simple assault and battery.

Legal definitions of "deadly weapons" vary state to state, but are generally very broad and can include just about anything, depending on use. Automobiles, heavy boots and toilet-plunger handles have all been deemed deadly weapons. (Note that you don’t have to register toilet plungers.)

Ohio’s definition is "any instrument, device, or thing capable of inflicting death, and designed or specifically adapted for use as a weapon, or possessed, carried, or used as a weapon."

This would seem to cover the human hand. Indeed, in a landmark 1960 case, it was ruled that hands could be considered deadly weapons. But in fact, legal interpretation is unclear.

In recent years appellate courts have issued contradictory rulings on the subject. A 1999 ruling said "there is no question" that fists can be deadly weapons; a 2000 ruling affirmed a lower court’s jury instruction that fists can’t be considered deadly weapons. And a 1996 ruling said that "while human fists may not be deadly weapons per se," it was reasonable to consider them as such in a specific beating case (incidentally, one involving a former boxer).

For comparison, in 1992 a Florida court shot down fists-as-weapons, saying it was an unconstitutionally overbroad reading that would make every assault/battery case a deadly-weapon one. However, it specifically left open the question of whether a trained fighter’s hands and feet could be deemed weapons.

In any case, few (if any) people convicted of a deadly weapon assault with their hands are trained fighters.

by joseph. on Nov 30, 2009 11:51 AM EST up reply actions  

link?

I’m pretty sure this is an urban myth. Would love to see proof otherwise though.

Ricky Hatton came closer to beating Manny Pacquiao than Marquez did to beating Floyd.

-SC

by The Lethal Haze on Nov 30, 2009 11:51 AM EST up reply actions  

Wow between this guy and Junie

you can bet mma is getting a good rep right about now.

Serious question is there a way to ban certain guys from fighting ever again because that looks like the best option in some cases.

by bigdmmafan on Nov 29, 2009 6:40 PM EST reply actions  

rec'd for truth

I was actually somewhat against the UFC cutting him.

Clearly they knew better than I.

by ruckus on Nov 29, 2009 7:23 PM EST up reply actions  

no kidding....

they obvi knew more than we did, too.

by saaby on Nov 29, 2009 7:27 PM EST up reply actions  

Yeesh, who were these people?

by JRN on Nov 29, 2009 8:20 PM EST up reply actions  

Yeah time for this guy to be put on the couch and have a chat. well strapped to the couch that is. I mean some things are bad enough but to stand by and watch this guy self destruct is sad

by Riley_96 on Nov 29, 2009 6:44 PM EST reply actions  

What a self-destructive guy.

"He hit like a bitch."

by SMC on Nov 29, 2009 6:45 PM EST reply actions  

This is truly terrible news

I have laughed at pretty much every War Machine story I’ve read up to this point, but I can’t bring myself to laugh at this.

by hlebtasic on Nov 29, 2009 6:45 PM EST reply actions   1 recs

If this guy goes to a real prison he’ll be killed.

"I will do nothing lightly. When I walk, I will walk heavily. When I fight, I will fight with conviction. When I speak, I will speak strongly. When I love, I will love with everything"

by dedstrk316 on Nov 29, 2009 6:47 PM EST reply actions  

no, he wont. he will take to it like a fish to water. normal, fearful people are the ones who get f’d up in prison.

The path to my fixed purpose is laid with iron rails, whereon my soul is grooved to run. Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering BROCKLESNAR; to the last I grapple with thee.

by judonerd on Nov 29, 2009 7:15 PM EST up reply actions  

nah man.

If he goes into jail actin like this he’ll be in some shit immediately.

I'm like PacMan fightin you silly kids... throw ya Hatton the ring, and get knocked outlike Ricky did.
lol.

by Loot on Nov 29, 2009 7:55 PM EST up reply actions  

thats the point. get in shit. end it viciously. gain a reputation. cruise safely.

normal people avoid conflict and wind up getting punked and busted out.

The path to my fixed purpose is laid with iron rails, whereon my soul is grooved to run. Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering BROCKLESNAR; to the last I grapple with thee.

by judonerd on Nov 29, 2009 8:49 PM EST up reply actions  

thats the point. get in shit. end it viciously. gain a reputation. cruise safely.

wow that’s a super-simplistic Hollywood view of prison

“take out the toughest guy you see and then nobody will fuck with you ever again!”

That’s B.S. He goes in there friendless, with no backup, no connections and messes with the wrong people he will be gang-raped and shanked. Beating some guy’s ass isn’t going to provide him safety. Numbers, and keeping a low profile provide safety. If you can even call it that.

by Grappo on Nov 29, 2009 9:29 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

no that’s a personally-know-several-case-workers-in-Indiana-State-Penitentiary-and-hear-all-the-dirty-stories view. Prison is really that f’d up and somebody IS going to test you.

The path to my fixed purpose is laid with iron rails, whereon my soul is grooved to run. Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering BROCKLESNAR; to the last I grapple with thee.

by judonerd on Nov 29, 2009 9:32 PM EST up reply actions  

What if you go super-Christian?

Keep firing Assholes!

In Idaho, it's illegal to f--- a porcupine. You know why? Because someone tried it.

by Ubernoober on Nov 29, 2009 9:59 PM EST up reply actions  

Just watch some “Caged Wisdom” tapes and you’re good to go

We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms, turning every good thing to rust.

by Anthony Pace on Nov 30, 2009 6:17 AM EST up reply actions   2 recs

rec'd for A.D. ref!

'He built his whole reputation as a waffle house chef. They’ve been serving him up ham and eggs with a side of canned tomatoes' - Don Frye on Fedor Emelianenko

by Well Read Idiot on Nov 30, 2009 8:44 AM EST up reply actions  

^ This

"Why am I here? Why does my mind have wings? Why do blue midgets hit me with fish?!" - The Tick

by mythbuster on Nov 30, 2009 10:47 AM EST up reply actions  

He’s Latino right? His former name doesn’t should Latino but he looks like he’s from that decent. If so I doubt he will be alone for very long. I am sure someone will challenge him after finding out he’s fought in the UFC. After WM pummels them I predict he’ll be sought after as muscle for the Latino gang(s). Sounds pretty prejudice but political correctness is left outside the prison walls.

by YoungGun on Nov 29, 2009 11:27 PM EST up reply actions  

He looks German to me. He’s got a Euro last name. Any big Euro gangs in California prisons these days?

"I swear to God, I'll take this ******* ball and shove it down your ******* throat" - Serena Williams

by lcollins1 on Nov 30, 2009 12:22 AM EST up reply actions  

….he fixes the cable.

Kimbo wants to take your caterpiller and do bad things to it.

by Mr.Kib on Nov 30, 2009 2:30 AM EST up reply actions  

Not my typical german lol.

10/24

by spectaa on Nov 30, 2009 6:44 AM EST up reply actions  

Either that, or he’ll recklessly piss off the wrong people.

Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. -Samuel Beckett

by themachiavellian on Nov 29, 2009 7:55 PM EST up reply actions  

He’ll get the solitary wing named after him.

Keep firing Assholes!

In Idaho, it's illegal to f--- a porcupine. You know why? Because someone tried it.

by Ubernoober on Nov 29, 2009 7:57 PM EST up reply actions  

He will most probably toss the salad and get his salad tossed.

10/24

by spectaa on Nov 29, 2009 8:18 PM EST up reply actions  

Pretty much. This guy seems like he has no self-control. He’ll probably win a fight or two in prison. But just reading about this guy’s temperament, it seems like he’ll eventually cross the wrong MFer and that’ll be it for War Machine.

by Hardcase on Nov 30, 2009 8:30 AM EST up reply actions  

Unless he aligns himself with the right people he will be taken out quick with his attitude.

"I will do nothing lightly. When I walk, I will walk heavily. When I fight, I will fight with conviction. When I speak, I will speak strongly. When I love, I will love with everything"

by dedstrk316 on Nov 29, 2009 8:04 PM EST up reply actions  

Seems like even if he does align himself w/ the right people, he’ll find a way to screw that up too.

by Hardcase on Nov 30, 2009 8:30 AM EST up reply actions  

when inmates find out hes a professional fighter they’re gonna wanna test him. WM will probably get pc’d up

by espino on Nov 29, 2009 8:02 PM EST up reply actions  

there is no way this guy goes into the normal population and judging by the mounds of evidence I wouldn’t be surprised if he cops some kind of insanity plea

by drano on Nov 29, 2009 9:25 PM EST up reply actions  

His tweets over the past week are pretty convincing for that insanity plea…

by pdl on Nov 29, 2009 9:46 PM EST up reply actions  

yeah that’s what I was thinking wouldn’t be surprised if he ends up in some kind of secure treatment facility not prison

by drano on Nov 29, 2009 9:56 PM EST up reply actions  

I’m pretty sure the insanity plea can only be used if the offender didn’t know what he was doing was wrong. This is why people like Jeffrey Dahmer weren’t found insane, because they knew it was wrong but did it anyway.

Same would go for WM.

"Why am I here? Why does my mind have wings? Why do blue midgets hit me with fish?!" - The Tick

by mythbuster on Nov 29, 2009 11:05 PM EST up reply actions  

As I understand it

if a defender can prove that at the time of the incident the defendant was unable to tell right from wrong, then an insanity plea can be used. He seems to have lapses in his memory and judgment be it due to alcohol, bipolar I, or MPSD. I don’t know the guy or his specific issues, but it looks like a case that could be made. Then again, I’m also totally not a lawyer.

by pdl on Nov 29, 2009 11:11 PM EST up reply actions  

Yeah

We speculate but it’s better for us to leave the lawyering to the lawyers lol

"Why am I here? Why does my mind have wings? Why do blue midgets hit me with fish?!" - The Tick

by mythbuster on Nov 29, 2009 11:22 PM EST up reply actions  

pretty sure the motivations were uncontrolled rage and he knows what he was doing was wrong. His tweets are evidence of that…His lawyer is probably pissed and if he didn’t think he;d get pummeled would probably tell him to shut the f*ck up on twitter.

by YoungGun on Nov 29, 2009 11:31 PM EST up reply actions  

the fact that he’s hiding or tried to hide after his actions pretty much destroys his chance for a legit shot at being found insane.

And, I don’t know what they’re paying for guys to act in straight pron these days but I’m guessing he’s not gonna be able to bring back Cochran with his limited bank-roll.

"I swear to God, I'll take this ******* ball and shove it down your ******* throat" - Serena Williams

by lcollins1 on Nov 30, 2009 12:26 AM EST up reply actions  

I’ve done some work at Atascadero State Hospital and seen this kind of stuff play out you’d be surprised how many guys are out there using defenses like these

by drano on Nov 30, 2009 2:11 AM EST up reply actions  

it wouldnt be surprised if his dumb ass plead “not guilty”.

by espino on Nov 29, 2009 10:05 PM EST up reply actions  

I would be even the worst public defender in the dumbest county of the dumbest state could see this guy’s has a good case for an insanity plea

by drano on Nov 29, 2009 10:40 PM EST up reply actions  

Antisocial behaviour and a rough upbringing is not enough reason for an insanity plea.

Keep firing Assholes!

In Idaho, it's illegal to f--- a porcupine. You know why? Because someone tried it.

by Ubernoober on Nov 29, 2009 10:42 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

no but there are people in secured treatment facilities who got out of prison time for learning disorders and other things that good old war machine sounds like he may suffer from

by drano on Nov 30, 2009 2:28 AM EST up reply actions  

insanity pleas are for people who can’t tell whats real or not real, not people with emotional issues

The path to my fixed purpose is laid with iron rails, whereon my soul is grooved to run. Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering BROCKLESNAR; to the last I grapple with thee.

by judonerd on Nov 29, 2009 10:50 PM EST up reply actions  

It’s very difficult to get a successful insanity plea, and if it works, it would commit him. He wouldn’t get out the hospital without legal approval.

Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. -Samuel Beckett

by themachiavellian on Nov 29, 2009 11:00 PM EST up reply actions  

I think its pretty tough...

I know after Reagan’s would-be assassin got off (sort of) on an insanity plea, they really tightened it up, and some states got rid of it. Percentage wise, it’s a long shot. Better to just plead mitigating circumstances or something and hope you get off with lengthy probation (which, as War Machine, you’ll probably break)

by TLow on Nov 29, 2009 11:15 PM EST up reply actions  

Right, forgot about that.

Insanity it is!

by TLow on Nov 29, 2009 11:22 PM EST up reply actions  

Man, I hope they catch him before he harms himself or someone else.

by cmsove on Nov 29, 2009 6:47 PM EST reply actions  

Man, I hope they catch him before he harms himself or someone else.

fixed.

Kuwabara Kuwabara

by J. B. Maddox on Nov 29, 2009 6:57 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Just put him and Junie in a shipping container.

"Why am I here? Why does my mind have wings? Why do blue midgets hit me with fish?!" - The Tick

by mythbuster on Nov 29, 2009 7:01 PM EST reply actions  

TOP MEN.

"I'm AJB and I endorse this nut-puncher."

by AJB on Nov 30, 2009 6:38 AM EST up reply actions  

good catch

I mess up quotes too tho, so cut em some slack. This was a great reference on Family Guy not too long ago

We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms, turning every good thing to rust.

by Anthony Pace on Nov 30, 2009 7:00 AM EST up reply actions  

Oh, it wasn’t a critique. It’s the way the government guy says it the second time. It must be all caps.

TOP. MEN.

"I'm AJB and I endorse this nut-puncher."

by AJB on Nov 30, 2009 7:10 AM EST up reply actions  

at the beginning does he say important people? i just remember TOP. MEN., but maybe that’s cuz it’s so emphatic

We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms, turning every good thing to rust.

by Anthony Pace on Nov 30, 2009 7:13 AM EST up reply actions  

I can’t remember, which is as good an excuse as any to watch the movie again. I’ll get back to you in about two hours!!!

"I'm AJB and I endorse this nut-puncher."

by AJB on Nov 30, 2009 7:48 AM EST up reply actions  

I believe it goes:

Maj. Eaton: We have top men working on it now.
Indiana Jones: Who?
Maj. Eaton: TOP. MEN.

by The_Gaijin on Nov 30, 2009 9:43 AM EST up reply actions  

I can confirm this. And it’s still awesome.

"I'm AJB and I endorse this nut-puncher."

by AJB on Nov 30, 2009 12:02 PM EST up reply actions  

have is shipped off to a failed state and see just how much they love actual chaos

by Riley_96 on Nov 29, 2009 7:06 PM EST up reply actions  

Couldnt have happened to a more appropriate industry. Hope someone had a camera rolling.

"Like a ballet of violence clothed in fine Brazilian silk." ~ MMASuPreMaCy

by Benicio on Nov 29, 2009 7:19 PM EST reply actions  

Stop hatin on p0rn everyone!

10/24

by spectaa on Nov 29, 2009 7:48 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

Not too long ago, I didn’t know whether to feel bad for him or to be mad at him. Now, I’m neither…I just hope this guy gets serious help, obviously has some deep-seeded issues that need to be resolved before he can function in society. He definitely deserves to go to jail, but I’m sure it will only make things worse. I really hope he can get the help he needs and accepts it, because I believe that deep down he is a good guy. He just does not know how to cope with his problems in the right manner. Until he gets things sorted out, I hope that no promoter will book him and no gym will let him train. Fighters of his level are too dangerous to do the things he does.

Welcome to the Machida Error.

by slapjaw ackrite on Nov 29, 2009 7:26 PM EST reply actions  

Señor Machine is rapidly approaching the Drew Fickett line between comedy and tragedy.

by Jahbulon on Nov 29, 2009 7:28 PM EST up reply actions  

i think he's beyond that personally.

I'm like PacMan fightin you silly kids... throw ya Hatton the ring, and get knocked outlike Ricky did.
lol.

by Loot on Nov 29, 2009 7:56 PM EST up reply actions  

You need to rename that line.

WM is way worse than Fickett, and that is saying something.

by Razreshat on Nov 29, 2009 10:18 PM EST up reply actions  

you gotta love the self incriminating tweets … hes gonna be in the pinta pretty soon

by espino on Nov 29, 2009 7:30 PM EST reply actions  

“when they find me”

carrying around and using a mobile device is like activating a homing beacon for the police.

by ryanwk628 on Nov 29, 2009 8:28 PM EST up reply actions  

LOL

exactly..

let him continue Tweeting away.. He’ll be hold up in some run down empty building, tweeting his little heart out.. Thinking he’s “safe” from the po-po’s.. then BAM !!!!

They’ll snatch his ass up and beat him with a dozen phone books to hide the bruises..

8-29-09

Keith Jardine is now known as "The Dean of Antihistamine" because he is always sleeping early in fights..

by MMAuthority on Nov 29, 2009 8:33 PM EST up reply actions  

I’m all tangled up in this wire Ricky!

Fighting Area Control

by capital L on Nov 29, 2009 8:49 PM EST up reply actions  

I feel sorry for WM. The guy clearly has some really deep mental issues. This kind of shit isn’t even funny – he needs help in a most serious way.

certified warlord

by kenpoboy67 on Nov 29, 2009 7:34 PM EST reply actions  

The story is scary, you got to feel bad for regular people being mauled by a man trained to inflict damage. But the tweets cracked me up. The dude is straight up insane.

10/24

by spectaa on Nov 29, 2009 7:50 PM EST reply actions  

What the hell was his agent thinking, working with a guy like that?

Keep firing Assholes!

In Idaho, it's illegal to f--- a porcupine. You know why? Because someone tried it.

by Ubernoober on Nov 29, 2009 7:50 PM EST reply actions  

Maybe

…His agent told him there was already a war machine in porn?

10/24

by spectaa on Nov 29, 2009 8:27 PM EST up reply actions  

There is, but sadly it’s all just naked women.

Keep firing Assholes!

In Idaho, it's illegal to f--- a porcupine. You know why? Because someone tried it.

by Ubernoober on Nov 29, 2009 7:59 PM EST up reply actions   1 recs

I’m stumped, too by that comment, Rich.

How can it be “sad” when it comes to naked women?

by BNTHIS on Nov 30, 2009 3:17 PM EST up reply actions  

This from a guy who almost had a heart attack when an animated gif here had blurry boobies in it.

"Why am I here? Why does my mind have wings? Why do blue midgets hit me with fish?!" - The Tick

by mythbuster on Nov 30, 2009 4:18 PM EST up reply actions  

WarMachine leaves carinage everywhere he goes, he even got the Editor of Sherdog fired.....

LOL When Brian (something or other) the new Editor of Sherdog after Gross left picked Warmachine vs Yoshida, Breen called him out big time on it and ripped him the entire radio show. It was hilarious. Another War Machine causality.

by Dexerion on Nov 29, 2009 8:00 PM EST reply actions  

Got exposed as having very little MMA knowledge.

"Like a ballet of violence clothed in fine Brazilian silk." ~ MMASuPreMaCy

by Benicio on Nov 29, 2009 10:43 PM EST up reply actions  

The silver lining is that he immediatley got hired on as a judge in California.

Keep firing Assholes!

In Idaho, it's illegal to f--- a porcupine. You know why? Because someone tried it.

by Ubernoober on Nov 29, 2009 10:43 PM EST up reply actions  

If War Machine is looking for another job..

..now that fighting and porn are epic faildom, he could do worse than the CSAC.

It’s clearly the next step down the ladder.

http://www.vancouversun.com/mma

by Ozzz on Nov 30, 2009 2:42 AM EST up reply actions  

"...haha" "...lol!"

WM needs to get his shit together and stop acting like a child. He seems to be bipolar. He should get checked out by a psychiatrist.

by MSEMCEE on Nov 29, 2009 8:35 PM EST reply actions  

He’s definately going to jail. He was on probation from the last fight he got in and had a suspended jail term. Such a sad story, sometimes people cannot harness the devil in themselves and overcome mental disorders, i liked this guy on TUF he just seems shaped by a rough life and can’t balance the newfound celebrity with his anger issues.

by amadeus on Nov 29, 2009 8:39 PM EST reply actions  

This guy has serious problems

"On the sixth day god created man,but on the fifth day man created god" - Todd White on The Book Of Lucifer:
The Enlightenment

by Krawchuck on Nov 29, 2009 8:51 PM EST reply actions  

Mr. Machine

Look people.. lets not get down on the dude just because he had a bad day.

by islandguy666 on Nov 29, 2009 9:22 PM EST reply actions  

Haircut

http://www.vancouversun.com/mma

by Ozzz on Nov 30, 2009 2:43 AM EST up reply actions  

Tattoo artist.

"I'm AJB and I endorse this nut-puncher."

by AJB on Nov 30, 2009 6:41 AM EST up reply actions  

Leave that to the pros.

I dislike Matt Hughes. Shogun beat him like a dirty horse.

by MonkeyCHops on Nov 29, 2009 11:51 PM EST up reply actions  

doubt it. he claims to be 100% clean, and this is not a guy holding any personal info back

The path to my fixed purpose is laid with iron rails, whereon my soul is grooved to run. Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering BROCKLESNAR; to the last I grapple with thee.

by judonerd on Nov 29, 2009 10:55 PM EST up reply actions  

I love how I got flamed for being alarmed at his constant homo/suicidal threats. Dude’s on his way ti a bad. End. He thrives on the attention and he is a loose canon. I can’t help but wonder if we have another Justin Levens on our hands. I can see him working himself up to a point where he does something incredibly dumb, then is overcome by intense remorse and offs himself. Or doesn’t. Either way, prognosis is grim.

http://www.mmarecap.com

by bonez2799 on Nov 29, 2009 9:54 PM EST reply actions  

I actually think that this is the best thing to happen to WM. He NEEDS to but out of the public, and in some sort of detention or treatment. Only a matter of time before he kills someone or himself.

by Tayman on Nov 29, 2009 9:57 PM EST reply actions  

I guess this is his reason for doing it:
Ya’ll can say what you want but when you got 5 guys drunk and in your face pissed about some BS that ain’t even true what am I supposed to do? Wait and let someone craxk me first? lol..I think not. Fuck all you fucks.

by Anton Tabuena on Nov 29, 2009 10:08 PM EST reply actions  

Yeah...

from what I’ve been told those 5 drunk guys got in his face after he slapped around his woman

Editor - BloodyElbow.com - SBNation's mixed martial arts headquarters.
MMA Editor - SBNation.com

by Brent Brookhouse on Nov 29, 2009 10:09 PM EST up reply actions  

Pre-emptive retaliatory strike?

Keep firing Assholes!

In Idaho, it's illegal to f--- a porcupine. You know why? Because someone tried it.

by Ubernoober on Nov 29, 2009 10:13 PM EST up reply actions  

I wanted to mention that War Machine was in charge of US foreign policy from 2003-2005 but I didn’t want to heve my clever witticisms deleted.

Keep firing Assholes!

In Idaho, it's illegal to f--- a porcupine. You know why? Because someone tried it.

by Ubernoober on Nov 29, 2009 10:38 PM EST up reply actions   2 recs

just as well you didnt then.

"Like a ballet of violence clothed in fine Brazilian silk." ~ MMASuPreMaCy

by Benicio on Nov 29, 2009 10:44 PM EST up reply actions  

Warmachine’s tweets are a prosecutors dream and a lawyers nightmare.

by Dropkick434 on Nov 29, 2009 11:22 PM EST up reply actions  

And an agent's lawsuit.

http://www.vancouversun.com/mma

by Ozzz on Nov 30, 2009 2:47 AM EST up reply actions  

This just gets juicier and juicier.
If a pregnant woman somehow gets involved Rampage has just lost another title.

"Like a ballet of violence clothed in fine Brazilian silk." ~ MMASuPreMaCy

by Benicio on Nov 29, 2009 10:45 PM EST reply actions   2 recs

Jon Koppenhaver changed his name to War Machine.
Now War Machine will be changing his name to Prisoner Number 544170.

"Why am I here? Why does my mind have wings? Why do blue midgets hit me with fish?!" - The Tick

by mythbuster on Nov 29, 2009 11:09 PM EST reply actions  

George Bluth.

'He built his whole reputation as a waffle house chef. They’ve been serving him up ham and eggs with a side of canned tomatoes' - Don Frye on Fedor Emelianenko

by Well Read Idiot on Nov 30, 2009 9:13 AM EST up reply actions   2 recs

“Dad, you never even threw the ball around with me”
“Great. Suddenly you’re an athlete.”

"Why am I here? Why does my mind have wings? Why do blue midgets hit me with fish?!" - The Tick

by mythbuster on Nov 30, 2009 10:50 AM EST up reply actions  

Jay Walter Weatherman: “That’s why you always leave a note.”

We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms, turning every good thing to rust.

by Anthony Pace on Nov 30, 2009 12:02 PM EST up reply actions  

"You're worthless and weak!"

“What are you gonna do with your life?”

WM: “I wanna rock.”

http://www.vancouversun.com/mma

by Ozzz on Nov 30, 2009 2:24 PM EST up reply actions  

I can say from dealing with crazy people myself….

Man, they’re tough to help. On the one hand they need help so badly, on the other hand, they’re so fucked up that they’re often the most horrible, psychotic person you know.

I hope they put him on Lithium or something, and they settle him down a bit.

by TLow on Nov 29, 2009 11:21 PM EST reply actions  

He'll always be able to fight in Indiana.

They’ll take anyone.

http://www.vancouversun.com/mma

by Ozzz on Nov 30, 2009 2:48 AM EST up reply actions  

There are two ways a person like war machine can go about life, jail or death.

by thesource on Nov 29, 2009 11:22 PM EST reply actions  

LOL

The mat is my church, the ground is my heaven, Jiu-Jitsu is my religion. And once you hit the ground you're in my world. My world is like the ocean, I’m like a shark and most people don't even know how to swim - Draculino

by AboveThisFire on Nov 29, 2009 11:45 PM EST reply actions  

this is surreal. i feel like i’m reading this on the onion

by phantasma475 on Nov 29, 2009 11:53 PM EST reply actions  

I just want to let everyone know that Warmachine did not hit me last night or any other night I don’t know how that rumor started but It is false. Thank you all for your concerns

http://twitter.com/AlanahXXXRae

by Anton Tabuena on Nov 30, 2009 2:49 AM EST reply actions  

So does this mean all the people at the party and Terez Owens – who says she told him otherwise – are all lying? Maybe they all were just passing around assumptions to figure out what was going on in the chaos? Maybe Terez just wants hits? This is nuts.

Awesome.

by asa on Nov 30, 2009 3:18 AM EST up reply actions  

maybe she's trying to help War Machine's case

so that his sentence(or whatever you call that) would be less serious?

by Anton Tabuena on Nov 30, 2009 3:46 AM EST up reply actions  

lets face it, not like she has a strong moral character.

"Like a ballet of violence clothed in fine Brazilian silk." ~ MMASuPreMaCy

by Benicio on Nov 30, 2009 3:58 AM EST up reply actions  

Having sex with people on camera for money is a pretty good hint.

"Why am I here? Why does my mind have wings? Why do blue midgets hit me with fish?!" - The Tick

by mythbuster on Nov 30, 2009 4:20 PM EST up reply actions  

Might I ask why?

I mean, getting paid to do something you love is some people’s idea of heaven. The only objection I’ve come across is people who object to sex in some way, which makes me curious why you would say that since you don’t seem to have that disposition.

by asa on Nov 30, 2009 7:17 PM EST up reply actions  

Not at all, but by standard moral codes prostitution, sexual objectification, sex with multiple partners, sex outside of marriage, etc. are considered immoral.

Now while I’m sure you’ll come back with how morals are personal yadayadayada, I can say that I agree. There are people who think that pedophilia is moral – thus I use the standard moral codes rather than the billions of individual moral codes out there.

And for the record, I enjoy porn and hate pedophilia.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morality

In its first, descriptive usage, morality means a code of conduct or a set of beliefs distinguishing between right and wrong behaviors. In its descriptive use, morals are arbitrarily and subjectively created by society, philosophy, religion, and/or individual conscience.
.
In its second, normative and universal sense, morality refers to an ideal code of belief and conduct which would be preferred by the sane “moral” person, under specified conditions. In this “definitive” sense, claims are made such as “Killing is immoral.”
.
In its third usage, morality is synonymous with ethics. Ethics is the systematic philosophical study of the moral domain.

"Why am I here? Why does my mind have wings? Why do blue midgets hit me with fish?!" - The Tick

by mythbuster on Nov 30, 2009 8:10 PM EST up reply actions  

Strength of morals

Is tied to having sex? Sex for interaction or as a substitute for emotional interaction? I can imagine the latter since it only acts as a surrogate for the real thing while obfuscating the real emotional expression/communication issues underneath?

Lack of self control?

Just curious.

by asa on Nov 30, 2009 9:39 PM EST up reply actions  

www.google.com

There’s all the answers to soothe your cravings. Meantime, I’m gonna talk MMA on the MMA site.

"Why am I here? Why does my mind have wings? Why do blue midgets hit me with fish?!" - The Tick

by mythbuster on Nov 30, 2009 11:30 PM EST up reply actions  

That’s typically how domestic abuse is dealt with unfortunately.

by omigawda on Nov 30, 2009 5:50 AM EST up reply actions  

enabling him?

Some “research” suggests she may be a sub. So maybe she’s feeling like she got out of line with her Dom, in her mind justifying whatever might have happened. Just thinking out loud here though.

by asa on Nov 30, 2009 12:43 PM EST up reply actions  

The best pornstar in MMA, the best MMA fighter in the porn industry…

Bloody hell.

by 3PA on Nov 30, 2009 8:27 AM EST reply actions  

Buuuut...

If we learned anything from the Junie Browning situation. If someone were to give him a call and book him to fight that would be a-ok

Editor - BloodyElbow.com - SBNation's mixed martial arts headquarters.
MMA Editor - SBNation.com

by Brent Brookhouse on Nov 30, 2009 9:19 AM EST reply actions  

It won't just be a-ok

it will be charity on the part of the promoter who’s obviously a sweetheart solely concerned with the needs of the fighters.

Follow me on Twitter @KidNate

by Kid Nate on Nov 30, 2009 9:35 AM EST up reply actions  

Do you mean a-ok in the eyes of the law or morally as in the eyes of the “lord”? If the law and doctors let him fight, then so be it. He can deal with the “lord” on his own time.

by MMAInFeRioRiTy on Nov 30, 2009 10:58 AM EST up reply actions  

I meant...

in the eyes of everyone in this comment thread who have called War Machine names, declared that they wish he would kill himself, etc…many of whom were also one standing up for Junie

Editor - BloodyElbow.com - SBNation's mixed martial arts headquarters.
MMA Editor - SBNation.com

by Brent Brookhouse on Nov 30, 2009 11:25 AM EST up reply actions  

You don’t understand my question. Why isn’t it “a-ok” for him to fight? Because he committed crimes or because it’s morally wrong to let him fight? If the latter, why is it morally wrong? Whose morals are we talking about? God’s?

by MMAInFeRioRiTy on Nov 30, 2009 11:30 AM EST up reply actions  

it isn't a-ok for him to fight

because if these allegations are true he’s a violent felon. Being licensed to fight MMA is a privilege not a right and felons are definitely not people who should be licensed to fight.
Now if a guy has done his time and has been keeping his nose clean, that’s a different matter.

Follow me on Twitter @KidNate

by Kid Nate on Nov 30, 2009 12:05 PM EST up reply actions  

Is he a felon if he's not convicted?

Plenty of felons have competed before. I’ve even heard of rapists actually convicted of rape outside the Court of the Interwebs kinda rapists being allowed to fight. Is there a rule in the unified rules that includes the subjective “should” you’re using there man?

I personally don’t want a guy like him even associated with MMA, but my personal tastes and sensitivities don’t mean a man can’t or “shouldn’t” earn a living. Unfortunately for people in criminal trouble the act of removing legitimate means of income rarely leads to an improved situation.

by asa on Nov 30, 2009 12:54 PM EST up reply actions  

receiving a license to fight is a privilige

because it allows you to commit assault. Historically boxing commissions have been very reluctant to license people who are actively engaging in violent criminal behavior.
Obviously this has always been problematic given the nature of combat sports.
But I’d say as long as there are charges pending he shouldn’t be licensed.

Follow me on Twitter @KidNate

by Kid Nate on Nov 30, 2009 5:49 PM EST up reply actions  

Matt Serra is soo ashamed of his TUF pupil irght now…

for all intents and purposes, just consider all my posts as works of satire.

by Bandaka on Nov 30, 2009 11:06 AM EST reply actions  

I want to see some videos… C’mon porn insiders!

by WestbergIDFC on Nov 30, 2009 11:29 AM EST reply actions  

Srsly

Where’s the TMZ videos? The cellphone crappy quality 10 second videos?

"Why am I here? Why does my mind have wings? Why do blue midgets hit me with fish?!" - The Tick

by mythbuster on Nov 30, 2009 11:52 AM EST up reply actions  

like i said, its fake. and i dont know why my fucking posts are getting deleted.

by Marcus213 on Nov 30, 2009 11:35 AM EST reply actions  

your comment was hidden

because it advocated War Machine committing suicide.

Follow me on Twitter @KidNate

by Kid Nate on Nov 30, 2009 12:06 PM EST up reply actions  

rec’d for moshzilla content

by thisredengine on Nov 30, 2009 3:41 PM EST up reply actions  

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