The Week in Quotes: November 8th - 14th

SIXTY PERCENT OF THE TIME IT WORKS EVERY TIME.

"I’m pissed, I’m really pissed, but the sport of MMA, she, MMA, is a b---h and if you let it go to the judges, you let it out of your hands, you know?" - Brandon "The Truth" Vera, on the wrong side of another close and controversial MMA decision following his bout with Randy "The Natural" Couture at UFC 105.  (Sherdog)

"So, I’m going to take the blame for this loss. I’m going to man up." - Vera.  Yeah, well, you didn't decisively win the fight, buddy.  Next time, don't walk yourself back into the fence any time your opponent touches you.  My wallet would appreciate it.

"You just don't know what the judges are looking at and how they see the fight." - Couture, with a wink and a nod.

"I should have finished it. I had a couple of opportunities to during the fight that I should have finished it." - Vera

"I wouldn’t have been terribly disappointed had the decision gone the other way. I was very impressed with Brandon." - Couture, who speedily left the arena after Dana White cut him his win bonus check.

"I had to kind of shift gears. (Vera) definitely got my attention in the second round. I was protecting my head and he kicked me square in the ribs.  I think he moved my heart with that shot." - Couture. What an odd euphemism for getting the crapped kicked out of you.

"I’m super happy I got to fight Randy Couture, my hero, my legend, and let the rest of the light heavyweight division know that I’m going to whip your a-- if you get into the Octagon with me." - Vera.  I'm sure everyone's defecating themselves wondering how they're going to solve the Brandon Vera puzzle.

I AM A PROFESSIONAL AND I WOULD LIKE TO DO MY JOB

"I was just kind of horrified that (Brock Lesnar) would even get in the face of the opponent he had just beaten (at UFC 100). It was totally disrespectful to Frank, and that’s the part that just started it all off." - Shane Carwin, holier-than-thou. (Pro MMA Radio)

"You know, one of the first things you learn when you walk into any mixed martial arts gym or dojo is respect and discipline, and especially for your opponents and your training partners." - Carwin.  Doesn't he realize the pure babyface character died 20 years ago?

"That was the first thing that teed it off, and, you know, the flipping off of the crowd. You know, that was another thing." - Carwin

"And then, you know, the part about getting on top of his wife and stuff. You know, that kind of horrified me, too, just because I have a ton of respect for my wife and my family, and they always come first. And, you know, I would never make remarks like that." - Carwin.  You know, Carwin's just Mr. White Picket Fence, you know.

IF YOU WANT TO THROW DOWN FISTICUFFS, FINE. I'VE GOT JACK JOHNSON AND TOM O'LEARY WAITING FOR YOU RIGHT HERE.

"If I get the opportunity just to punch Dana White in the face once in the cage, he could whip my ass. Pay me $50,000 that I give to charity, I'd still do it. Just one shot to punch him in the mouth." - MMA resident scumbag Gary Millen.  Come on, Dana, co-promote just one time! (Cage Writer)

"In the meeting, Dana says to Fedor 'oh, you're the best fighter in the world, we'd love to have you.' And Fedor says to him 'yeah, I hear and read on the internet what you have to say about me everyday.' And then Dana's like 'I'm just a promoter. I'm just trying to sell tickets. I just want to sell tickets.' And Fedor said 'that's what makes you and I different.' [Fedor] just wants respect and to be treated fairly." - Millen.  It's funny because according to White, him and Fedor have never met face-to-face.

BY THE BEARD OF ZEUS!

"In spite of the fact that they try to work me hard and make my game perfect, I still, in some places, I look a little bit clumsy." - World's number one heavyweight Fedor Emelianenko.  If that dude's clumsy, I don't ever want to stand up straight again. (Sherdog)

"I am the way that I am, but I always remember that the harder a person gets, the more it hurts to fall down. That’s why I think about all the results (that come from) what I do in a calm way. Also, I try to treat all people the same way. We’re all human beings, with two arms, two legs and all of us are equal in front of God." - Emelianenko.  I wonder how he reconciles his thoughts on God and humanity with all the freakbabies in the world?

WHITE NOISE

"But we're not friends anymore, and when I'm your enemy, I'm a bad enemy to have." - UFC President Dana White, on his relationship with Quinton "Rampage" Jackson.  Tito Ortiz was too busy spending his UFC 106 money to comment. (Yahoo)

"Just because you read on MMA.TV that someone is a superstar doesn't make it true. This should prove that no one out there gives a [expletive] about Fedor." - White, knocking the CBS/Strikeforce show.  Emelianenko's fight drew five million sets of eyeballs. (Yahoo)

"I mean, how the [expletive] is what they did considered any good in any way, shape or form? What kind of numbers do you think we would pull with a live show on CBS?" - White.  This just in: the NFL draws better numbers than the CFL.

"The guy just got his face smashed in by Brett Rogers. Do you know what Brock or [UFC heavyweights] Frank Mir and Cain Velasquez would do to Brett Rogers? It’s time to bring [Fedor] in, to see Brock Lesnar smash his head." - White, does Mir have the horseshow implanted in his rectum? (LA Times)

"They ran every test on the planet on him, and they ended up finding out something else was wrong with him." - White, on Brock Lesnar's health.  Lesnar collapsed while taking time off in Canada.  His return has been indefinitely put on hold. (MMA Junkie)

PARTING SHOTS

"Obviously, I have a family I have to provide for, so a few losses in the UFC and you're out." - Former TUF winner Michael "The Count" Bisping.  Yeah, just ask Stephan Bonnar and Chris Leben! (UFC.com)

"I actually hated coaching. The job fucking sucked. And they better not ask me to do it again. It's just fucking too much." - Quinton "Rampage" Jackson.  I'm shocked. (Playboy)

"You'd think everyone [in the industry] would be happy because it's great for the industry for everyone to be doing well." - Strikeforce CEO Scott Coker, on his CBS show. (Yahoo)