THIS IS THE GREATEST NIGHT IN THE HISTORY OF OUR SPORT!

"Me and Kimbo, we talked about it, like how much money we would have potentially lost by fighting actually on the show." - Roy "Big Country" Nelson, who had six million people watch him meticulously deconstruct Kimbo Slice on the latest episode of the Ultimate Fighter Season 10. (MMA Weekly)

"First round was 44 punches to the face, and then (referee) Herb Dean doesn’t know how to ref, but we’ve seen that before. And then the next round was 22 punches. You could even see me yelling at Herb Dean, ‘Come on, ref.’ " - Nelson, believing referee Herb Dean should have ended the bout late in the first round when he trapped Kimbo in a crucifix. (USA Today)

"Kimbo got up after that round pretty quick and spry, right? If I stop a fight it's because I believe a fighter's not fighting back, because he can't." - Herb Dean, defending his decision. (MMA Weekly)

"That weight was hard to move. The crucifix is not my favorite position." - Kimbo Slice, finding common ground with Jesus Christ. (Inside the Ultimate Fighter)

"You know how Babe Ruth used to point to the fence and say, 'I'm going to hit this home run'?" - Nelson, certified baseball historian.

YOU CAN'T POLISH A TURD

"This is probably, I would say, not hands down, but pound-for-pound a good fight, one of my best fights." - Kimbo Slice, hyping up his fight with Roy Nelson. (Sherdog)

"The fight sucked." - UFC President Dana White (Yahoo)

"Are you going to see Kimbo Slice fight again in the UFC? Yes." - White, influenced by the six million viewers the fight brought in. (LA Times Blog)

"No, never. The ratings do not influence our decision. The guy can either fight or not." - White.  Was that ever really a question?

RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!

"There's no reason [I did it]. Anytime I lose a fight that's what I'm doing from now on.  I'm just going to jump over the cage and run out." - Former UFC light heavyweight champ Forrest Griffin, finally offering some insight into his Gump-esque post fight jog at UFC 101. (MMA 30)

"And I said, 'Look, man, I haven't told anybody, let's keep this on the down low, but the truth is your mom was waiting for me in the back to suck my dick, and you know how good of a blowjob your mom gives, so I didn't want to be late for that shit.' " - Griffin, relaying his response after his father badgered him about his one hundred meter dash. (MMA Fanhouse)

"There's nothing to say. It's not about talking, I thought it was a fighting sport. I'm tired of talking to people." - Griffin.  The more surly you get with fans and media, the more I fall in love with you.

"Telling you they put money on you, and 'you're my kid's idol.' I don't want to hear that shit. Get Tom Brady on your kid's wall. Why me?" - Griffin.  Awww, you poor thing.

BROCKSMASH! SHANESMASH! ARGGGGHHHH!

"He hasn’t fought anybody. He’s fought (Gabriel) Gonzaga, so I really think he’s 1-0." - UFC heavyweight champ Brock Lesnar, degrading the MMA credentials of title contender Shane Carwin. (Las Vegas Sun)

"He’s a tough guy and a wrestler. But he’s a Division II national champion — enough said." - Lesnar

"Brock is not good with math. Thankfully, the UFC and WWE have paid him enough money to get a math tutor." - Carwin, zing! (Heavy.com)

"I know I wasn’t walked through the front door of the UFC with people holding the door for me. I wasn’t fed fights that sell pay-per-views." - Carwin.  Instead, you were fed cans to build up your name.  Pot, kettle.

"They have trained hard, and to disrespect MMA fighters is disrespecting the sport of MMA." - Carwin.  Please politely take your holier-than-thou bullshit and get smashed.  Thanks.

DIRTY OLD EGG SUCKING DOG

"I even asked my dog how does he feel and my dog said, ‘Who the hell are you, I don’t know even know you no more. I don’t even know you, why you even talking to me?’ My dog just looked at me, licked his nose, lit up a fart and walked out my room." - Former UFC light heavyweight champ Quinton "Rampage" Jackson, detailing the amount of time he spends away from home as a fighter. (MMA Bay)

"But every time I shoot somebody I see Rashad’s face over and over, like I get to shoot Rashad thousands of times and it’s fun." - Jackson, should probably seek psychiatric help.

"Rampage, has he left? No. He's mad at me. We've gone back and forth with this movie thing, Rampage will fight." - UFC President Dana White (Opie and Anthony Show)

PARTING SHOTS

"So I think it was more that Herb Dean was afraid to lose his job, because there’s a lot of people with a lot of money that can have a lot of influence with his career." - Roy Nelson

"My goal in the future is of course to become UFC champion but I’m not in a rush." - Strikeforce light heavyweight champ Gegard Mousasi.  He'll be a UFC champ by the end of 2011. (MMA Convert)

"I basically made a statement saying that Marquardt and Anderson Silva are my next two fights regardless and I’ve got to beat them both to either become or stay the champ." - Former Pride middle- and welterweight champ Dan Henderson (Sherdog)

"The reality is, I hope Rogers doesn't knock Fedor out. Because I want to get Fedor in the UFC, I want to see him fight Brock Lesnar." - UFC President Dana White, talking sense. (Bloody Elbow)

"I acknowledge their major league status, financial power, the caliber of their fighters, but I do not consider them the number one. I think I am the better fighter and capable of beating their fighters." - Shinya Aoki, very weird and strange individual. (Dream Channel)