UFC 92: LIKE A BORING HOLIDAY WITH THE FAMILY

"I've had to train for five rounds for no reason." - Former UFC Heavyweight Champion Frank Mir, sounding thrilled to get in the cage with UFC Interim Heavyweight Champion Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira. (Cagewriter)

"Dana, put my name on the check for knockout of the night." - Former Pride Middleweight Champion Wanderlei Silva, with the best and only trash talk from the week. (UFC Press Conference)

"We never look at it in that Rocky Balboa way, you know, ‘It’s my one shot at the title.'" - Rashad Evans' trainer Greg Jackson, who's hopefully looking at it in the Ivan Drago/Apollo Creed way. (Sherdog)

"Forrest is a mountain to deal with." - Forrest Griffin's trainer Shawn Tompkins, should be noted that Evans came in two pounds under the 205 limit.

"Well, according to Quinton himself, he is actually God. So if that's true, he wins any way he wants. But in the real world, I pick Wanderlei." - Snarky vegan and noted Quinton Jackson-hater Mac Danzig. (Sherdog)

CHRISTMAS WITH CAGEFIGHTERS

"One, you would get free doughnuts. Two, you got to carry a gun and drive real fast." - UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Forrest Griffin, on why he entered the police force. (Las Vegas Review-Journal)

"Money changes everything and I don't like change." - Griffin

"I never spent a Christmas outside of Vegas, so I never knew anything else." - Frank Mir, on the song "White Christmas" and Vegas' lack of snow.

"The guy's reaming me out on the phone and telling me how he's going to come down and kick my butt. So I call security because that's how we're told how to handle those sorts of things. The guy comes down and he's in a wheelchair. So the security guys are waiting and when they see the guy in the wheelchair, they're laughing and one of them runs to get a wheelchair for me." - Mir, relaying a Christmas Day tale from his time at the front desk of Texas Station.

"I haven't spent Christmas with my family in five years." - Wanderlei Silva, laying out the similarities between fighters and inmates.

"Where I lived in Japan, there was no room for a tree. Too small." - Silva

I'LL BE UTILIZING THE ALISTAIR OVEREEM "BLUE BALLS" STRATEGY

"He has had some spectacular finishes but he has been preety boring in his last few fights. I’m not afraid of him, I know he’s a very smart fighter but I intend to take him down and quickly finish the fight. - Korean behemoth Hong Man Choi, on New Year's Eve opponent Mirko Cro Cop. (Dream Fighters)

"That’s impossible." - Choi, on Cro Cop's ability to hit him with a left high kick.  Mirko's been busting 7 foot Croation basketball players to prove otherwise.

I COULDA BEEN A CONTENDER, I COULDA BEEN SOMEBODY, INSTEAD OF A BUM, WHICH IS WHAT I AM

"I'm hoping (to return to) the UFC." - Phil Baroni (MMAJunkie.com)

"I was at a gas station one night and some dudes were getting hammered and were getting ready to go drive their car, and they were like, 'Hey, dude. Nice entrance.' Yeah. Nice entrance. Not even nice fight." - Baroni, but seriously, who likes his entrances?  He's no Akihiro Gono.

"That's all I got from that (fight on national TV)." - Baroni, that and a nice little beatdown from Joey Villasenor.

"I really don't want to be a journeyman." - Baroni, too late.

PARTING SHOTS

"I'm not going back there again! When you look at Bangkok: all you see is bars, sex-tourism prospers, alot of prostitutes and transvestites. It only disgusted me as an orthodox man." - WAMMA Heavyweight Champion Fedor Emelianenko, on visiting Thailand.  He proceeded to armbar the country. (M1Mixfight.com)

"But when I beat an opponent, I don't look at that like it's done, mission accomplished — not even that I'm better than that opponent." - Dean Lister, who views results in a similar way as myself. (USA Today)

"I just think it's just that basic ideology of martial arts and jiu-jitsu that's ingrained in me." - UFC Lightweight Champion B.J. Penn, on jiu-jitsu's basic tenet that a smaller man can beat a bigger man with technique and leverage. (ESPN)

"Is he tough enough to do it? Absolutely. Is he talented enough to go up there and do it? Absolutely. Does that mean he should do it? Absolutely not." - UFC President Dana White, on Penn moving up in weight to fight Anderson Silva.