How a casual MMA fan keeps all the fighters straight
by Zack Gobie on Dec 18, 2008 11:00 AM EST
29 comments
Considering this website is my home page and I haven't missed a UFC event in years, it's pretty safe to say I'm not a casual fan. But my dad, a middle class guy pushing 50, has gotten into MMA somewhat in the past year or two. Of course with all of great fighters in the UFC, it can be difficult task to remember them all, but my dad has a pretty amusing system for himself. Obviously he knows the big draws like Lesnar, Rampage Couture, Liddell, and Griffin. But for the other ones, he christens them certain things to keep track of them. For example:
George St. Pierre: Jean-Claude/Celion Deon
BJ Penn: Crazy little Hawaiian guy
Fedor: Russian cabbage patch doll
Anderson Silva: Gumby
Wanderlei Silva: Freddy Krugar [I guess cause he looks scary, this one makes me laugh]
Dan Henderson: Jay Leno
Keith Jardine: Goblin guy
Brandon Vera: local Filipino guy
Huerta: De la Hoya
Clay Guida: Gage [cause I have a friend named Gage who looks like his long lost twin]
Cro Cop: Ivan Drago
Gonzaga: Gorilla Man
Sherk: Little Muscular Guy
Rich Franklin: Jim Carrey [that one's pretty obvious]
Machida: Karate Kid
It gets to the point where a conversation between us goes something like this:
Me: Hey dad, did you hear that Penn and GSP are gonna fight each other.
My Dad: Which ones are they again?
Me: The little Hawaiian guy and Celine Deon
My Dad: Damn, that'll be a good fight.
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ACTUALLY.......
Keith Jardine is Techno Viking
by nitro on Dec 18, 2008 3:14 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Everyone knows Jardine is Techno Viking! damn your Dad’s a noob
;)
by Benicio on Dec 18, 2008 4:08 AM EST up reply actions 0 recs
I’ve wanted a Techno Viking shirt from FL for a LONG time. It’s great; a joke about two dozen people in the country will get.
"I'm AJB and I endorse this nut-puncher."
by AJB on Dec 19, 2008 1:52 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
Celine Dion in a cagefight with a tiny Hawaiian man would be worth far more than $45. I don’t know if you can put a price on that kind of entertainment.
Hilarious post man and I can’t wait to here about any new additions to the list. God knows what he’d call Parisyan, Lesnar, Aoki.
by Rundownloser on Dec 18, 2008 10:07 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
I want to hear back that your father refers to Brock Lesnar as penis tattoo. That would be classic.
by dropkick101 on Dec 18, 2008 10:25 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
Nothing says BJ Penn than cabbage patch kid
Fedor needs another name. Perhaps the care bear that ate Tim Sylvia?
by cyph on Dec 18, 2008 11:54 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
haha this is great!
watchkalibrun.com
by Zak Woods on Dec 18, 2008 12:05 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Freaking awesome post!! I loled several times, thanks!
Eliot Marshall: Bader won. Like I said in the episode, I'm not going to make any excuses. It's my job to be able to deal with when somebody's doing that. It's not his job to change up his tactics.
http://eliotmarshall.com/
by BJJDenver on Dec 18, 2008 12:06 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
you forgot:
red-neck mohawk guy
quiet well-spoken jewish-lookin kid
yao ming’s big brother
jenna jamison’s bitch
that really pissed off mexican stoner
the ‘head blade’ douche bag
corn-fed bible beater
mr mom w/ no ground game
that guy that dyes his hair red
the 12 yr old polish kid
by Headkick on Dec 18, 2008 12:47 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
haha
I thought this was my mom w/ no ground game
"It's like a flying knuckle sandwich." --Rogan
"And many men have eaten it." -- Goldy
by thetakeover on Dec 18, 2008 2:28 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
red-neck mohawk guy – Herring?
quiet well-spoken jewish-lookin kid – Florian?
yao ming’s big brother – HMC
jenna jamison’s bitch – Tito
that really pissed off mexican stoner – Either Diaz
the ‘head blade’ douche bag – Trigg
corn-fed bible beater – Hughes?
mr mom w/ no ground game – No idea, but I am sure I will kick myself once someone tells me.
that guy that dyes his hair red – Leben
the 12 yr old polish kid – Hordeski
by szucconi on Dec 18, 2008 4:44 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
Mr Mom with no ground game sounds like Houston Alexander
"My job is a decision-making job, and as a result, I make a lot of decisions." --George W. Bush, The Decider, Lancaster, Pa., Oct. 3, 2007
by lovingmma25 on Dec 18, 2008 5:14 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
Yeah, it hit me in the car on the way home from work.
by szucconi on Dec 18, 2008 10:37 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
I think Head Blade is Chuck Liddell
"My job is a decision-making job, and as a result, I make a lot of decisions." --George W. Bush, The Decider, Lancaster, Pa., Oct. 3, 2007
by lovingmma25 on Dec 18, 2008 5:15 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
it was trigg.
that one is easier if you could hear me say it. (and if youve seen the commercial)
it’s more like “HEADBLAAADE!!! HEADBLAAAAADE!!! HEADBLAAAADDE!!!”
by Headkick on Dec 19, 2008 5:03 PM EST up reply actions 0 recs
this is good stuff
what a coincidence that some of the nicknames your dad has come up with are nicknames I have heard before.
headkick’s “Mr. Mom w/ no ground game” is fucking hilarious and pure gold.
"Stop smiling you are about to be punched in the face !"
by Warhand on Dec 18, 2008 3:29 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
ones that I have heard from my friends (that I have not seen yet)
the guy that wears the predator mask
awful bad boy tatoo on the abdomen guy
that dude who is missing a peck muscle
middle fingers in the air for the win guy
Being on the internet gives me a right...nay a responsibility to bitch about things
by beery_pbr on Dec 18, 2008 3:34 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
"Me: Hey dad, did you hear that Penn and GSP are gonna fight each other.
My Dad: Which ones are they again?
Me: The little Hawaiian guy and Celine Deon
My Dad: Damn, that’ll be a good fight."
That’s brilliant! Thanks for the laugh.
by ChillMike on Dec 18, 2008 5:13 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
Fedor: Russian cabbage patch doll…….classic
"Mr. Mom w/ no ground game"……also a classic
by attgnp on Dec 18, 2008 9:16 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
LOL @
you dad being casual but still having nightmares about Wand. WAR WAND
by skwirrl on Dec 19, 2008 12:14 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
you filipino?
http://weoweoweo.deviantart.com/
by Anton Tabuena on Dec 19, 2008 2:13 AM EST reply actions 0 recs
I’m digging the post. Here are some more:
The Junk Yard Dog
The Vampire
Monchichi Man
Crush
The Old Guy
Forrest Gump
Superman Chin Kid
The Country Boy
The Tall Guy
Pocket Hercules
AC Slater
The Other Jon Fitch
The Pimp
The Street Fighter
Raggedy Andy
The World’s Deadliest Punching Bag
by Bruiser on Dec 19, 2008 9:40 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
The worlds deadliest punching bags…..another very funny one, something tells me you are refering to Ken Shamrock
by attgnp on Dec 19, 2008 10:06 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
you filipino?
Naw, but I used to be part of a Team Irvin affiliate here in NoVa, so I make sure my dad is rooting for him.
by Zack Gobie on Dec 19, 2008 11:48 PM EST reply actions 0 recs
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