The Week in Quotes - September 27th - October 3rd

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MORE ONE SIDED THAN BIDEN-PALIN

"EliteXC, you think that business is being run well?" - UFC President Dana White (NBC Sports)

"Jared, you're sixty million dollars in the hole, retard. Get over it."
- White, with the headshot

"It would be like me starting a fast food joint saying, 'I'm going to take down McDonalds."
- White

"Names will never hurt me. But I'm sure it may have hurt a lot of disabled and handicapped people in this world." - ProElite Vice President Jared Shaw, getting his smack talk advice from school children (MMA Junkie)

"My only message for 'Simple Dana McDonald' is this -- The last time I checked the fast-food industry, the recognized No. 1 global franchising opportunity for a fast food chain was Subway. And their spokesperson's name is Jared."
- Shaw, minor league smack talk from a minor league organization

IF YOU CAN'T SPOT THE FISH AT THE TABLE, YOU ARE THE FISH

"I've been told actually 100 percent that he is not fighting on New Year's Eve. [The members of Emelianenko's management team] are our partners. We have extended his contract, and that's where we're at." - Affliction Co-owner Tom Atencio, debunking rumors that Fedor will fight in Japan on New Year's Eve (MMA Junkie)

"I spoke with [Emelianenko's managers] the other day, and they said he is not fighting. So that's just rumors."
- Atencio, who may not be familiar with those "crazy Russians"

"It was supposed to be Josh Barnett, but they turned it down. So we're working on something right now."
- Atencio

DEEP THOUGHTS BY WAR MACHINE

"Rashad Evans can suck my motherfucking dick!" - TUF star War Machine, wordsmith (Myspace)

"So Frank is super happy and backstage he goes up to Evans and says good job/good fight and Evans says the same. Then Frank walks up to Rashad and tells him its an honor to meet him and tries to shake his hand....Rashad looked him up and down....made a stupid lil noise with his mouth....turned around and walked away."
- War Machine

"Go cry Rashad...sorry your bro couldn't beat a guy who took a fight on two days notice, who was out of shape and was like 20 pounds lighter. You might be a great fighter but that's no reason to treat the guys under you like punks. Suck a dick cool guy."
- War Machine, just...yeah

KIMBO-DIMENSIONAL

"I'm just a little squirrel in this big world trying to get a nut." - EliteXC Posterboy Kimbo Slice, on his celebrity status (Sherdog)

"I think I did OK.  I thought I could do more on the ground."
- Slice, on his last fight with James Thompson

"He's gotta get me on the ground first of all, to do that."
- Slice, well aware of Shamrock's (lack of) wrestling ability

"I'm not one-dimensional no more."
- Slice

"Those guys helped make me who I am today."
- Slice, on fight legends Tank Abbott, Ken Shamrock, and Ray Mercer

UNDER THE ENTRY FOR "DISILLUSIONED" YOU'LL FIND A PICTURE OF A TATTOO'D BALD GUY

"I never thought of myself as a Top 10 guy in any weight class -- ever. But I think I match up very well against Anderson Silva. I think my style, my technique, matches up against Anderson Silva better than, say, Dan Henderson or Travis Lutter. Conversely, I think Dan Henderosn would be very difficult for me to match up against. A guy like Rich Franklin is a guy that I can beat." - Frank Trigg, setting himself up for failure (MMA Fanhouse)

"Everyone's so scared of his length and his reach that they stay way the hell outside. They're idiots. That makes no sense. You have to be on the inside. You have to be a Mike Tyson-style boxer against him. He's too elusive to hit in the face. He just has too much movement. You have to work his body. You have to pick him apart. You have to out-point him."
- Trigg, ask Rich Franklin how getting inside worked for him

"He can't hurt you when you're inside because his punching power is from his length and he has to be outside to kick. You have to take Anderson Silva down and hold him down. You almost have to fight him like B.J. Penn fought Sean Sherk: Constant movement, peppering him with quick shots."
- Trigg, pointing out the similar body type and fighting styles of Sean Sherk and Silva

"It's not difficult to see how to beat Anderson Silva. What's difficult is putting yourself to the task and understanding that the game plan isn't going to be perfect, and when something bad happens, overcoming that bad thing."
- Trigg, well there it is the perfect game plan to beat Anderson Silva

"Yeah, I think I could win."
- Trigg, his overconfidence is his weakness

INSERT TOM SELLECK JOKE HERE

"I quit drinking a month ago because I was doing too much of it. It lost its fun for me, but I was still doing it. Now I'm clean and sober." MMA legend Don Frye (MMA Junkie)

"I get up at 6 o'clock in the morning. I used to stumble out of bed at about 10 o'clock."
- Frye, improving his quality of life by waking up earlier in the day

"For some reason (UFC President) Dana White doesn't like me, and I don't care enough to find out why. So he can go pound sand up his ass as far as I'm concerned."
- Frye

"I've got about two years left. Eventually I'll get my head out of my ass and make another run at it."
- Frye, forgetting he just got leglocked by Ikuhisa Minowa

"I'm a whore. It's all about the money. I'll fight for anybody but the UFC."
- Frye, who would fight for the UFC

IS ELITEXC GETTING A PIECE OF THAT BAILOUT MONEY?

"Right now EliteXC and myself are in great discussions for the future and working with each other." - Former UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Tito Ortiz (MMA Junkie)

"I have a bulging disc between L4 and L5 and S1, so they've got to go in and fuse it. (It's) the same thing that Nate Quarry got. So I get it done, and I'll be able to wrestle the way I used to wrestle."
- Ortiz

"They're a start-up company, and they thought that they could throw a few dollars together and persuade someone like me, and expect me just as a fighter. I'm not that guy."
- Ortiz, nope, Tito, you're much more than that buddy

"I'm a business man. I've got to look at myself as not just a commodity, but a business itself -- Tito Ortiz brand."
- Ortiz

THE DREAM IS ON?

"Japan is going through decline in martial arts interest, in general, so the problem is not with Dream as an event or FEG’s ability to put [on] the right matches or exciting fights. We are working on rebuilding that audience and reigniting their interest in martial arts. FEG in a form of K-1 has been on national TV [in Japan] for over 14 years. We know how to get ratings, so we will make it happen in 2009 and will reach the numbers we used to produce."  - FEG USA Director Mike Kogan

"Nothing has changed going forward. Dream is not going anywhere; we will have events next year as planned, and they will be televised on TBS. Details at this point are being worked out, as to the number of events. It most likely will be six as this year. And just like this year, some will be in primetime and some will not, but all will be available on SkyPerfecTV PPV."
- Kogan

PARTING SHOTS

"No reason to think Ken won’t throw this fight the same way he did the last one. Kimbo, round one." - WEC/UFC Middleweight Chael Sonnen, stirring the pot (Sherdog)

"I'm looking for that big endorsement, like Taco Bell, Pizza Hut or McDonald's. Maybe after this fight, I'll do a cookbook." - Roy Nelson, All-American male (ESPN)

"He was not motivated to continue the fight. He was looking for a way out. ... We fought for nine minutes, and he didn't hit me a single time." - Strikeforce Heavyweight Champion Alistair Overeem, on his dominating performance against Mirko Filipovic (MMA Junkie)

"He could do well in the world of boxing.  He would have a great career." - Legendary boxing trainer Freddie Roach, on current student Andrei Arlovski (Sherdog)

"You can't really hide anything in the cage. It's real. Two people going at it. Kinda like sex." - EliteXC Postergirl Gina Carano, creating bulges in loins across the country (CBS via Youtube via Yahoo)

"Now is the perfect time to teach him how to box, because when babies learn how to crawl they start wiring their brain for movement. When they learn how to walk, theyr whole (something) and mental wiring kind of centered and balanced through their feet. If you teach them how to punch at the exact same time, their brain will wire in their hands and their feet." - Frank Shamrock, adding an interesting development to the "How Many 5 Year Olds Could You Take?" debate

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