Don Frye isn't just a once great fighter. He's also a wonderful advice columnist:
Valentine's Day is coming up, and this is the first one with my girl. I'm not a real romantic guy and I know she expects something special, besides some half-dead flowers and an overpriced meal, so do you have any ideas/tricks I can use to please my lady and get me some booty this Valentine's?
Here's what you do. Obviously, you've got a computer, so go on the internet and find a place that sells really nice wine. Next, print off a picture of the one the fancy bottles of wine, one of the real expensive ones. Then glue it on top of a cheap bottle.
You see, women like expensive stuff because it means you care enough to spend your dough. My guess is she wouldn't know a cheap bottle of wine from an expensive one anymore than she'd know a wristlock from a wrist watch. So let her think it cost you a bundle. It's still got alcohol in it, right?
Once that's done, do the same thing with a box of chocolates. She'll like that.
When she comes over to your house you give her the wine and the chocolates. Watch how excited she gets. Once she's in a good mood you give her two choices: either go out to a strip club or stay in and some watch some fights.
Either way, it should be a pretty good night.